Kissing Confusion

    • Kissing Confusion

      Hey everyone, I have a small problem that I dont truly know hoe to deal eith very well.

      My current girlfriend - 14 and freshmen as well as me - has been my GF for three months, and weve known each other since kindegarten so weve always been pretty tight. Shes a huge Christian so shes into the purity ring and taking things kinda slow (or at least not fast.) We also live near each other so we hang out a lot. Weve already cuddled couness times, in the process of cuddling, rubbed arms, backs, necks, behind the ears, etc. Weve held hands hugged - everything BUT kissing (and higher obviously.) Ive asked her (via text) about three times if she thinks shes ready for kising and every time she says "Idk, i guess ill know when it happens." And then one time i was rly pushing her for a straight answer bcuz i didnt wanna make her first kiss uncomfortable or unpleasent, and she told me she didnt think she was ready. Yet, about a month after she said that we apparently kinda accidently kissed while play fighting and she asked her friend if it counted, which gave me a sign. From what you guys have heard, do you think shes ready? Even if she isnt, could a kiss change that? And if not, how can I sense that she is without a straight "yes im ready?" Thanks to all that help!!!

    • Re: Kissing Confusion

      I don't think anyone can tell you if she's ready, only she can tell you that, and only she'll know if she's ready. Are you asking if a kiss could change if she's ready? It might, but it seems like you asking her so much is making her uncomfortable. Take it from a girl, stop asking her and just let it be. If you guys are in the right situation and you feel like its the right time, then try to go in for a kiss. If she denies you, back off for a little and try to talk to her about it again in a few weeks. You have to respect her beliefs, and her space.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: Kissing Confusion

      jakeuty wrote:

      Weve already cuddled couness times, in the process of cuddling, rubbed arms, backs, necks, behind the ears, etc. Weve held hands hugged - everything BUT kissing (and higher obviously.) Ive asked her (via text) about three times if she thinks shes ready for kising and every time she says "Idk, i guess ill know when it happens."
      From what you guys have heard, do you think shes ready? Even if she isnt, could a kiss change that? And if not, how can I sense that she is without a straight "yes im ready?" Thanks to all that help!!!


      OK, I don't want to attack you or anything but.... how do you cuddle without kissing?
      Maybe you should ask her in person, or just simply kiss her. Asking for a kiss via text is kind of weird. For me. Also, she's also saying/hinting to you that you should try and then you'll see (she'll know when it happens).
      Me personally would never say "Yes I'm ready" (to whatever) via text or phone, it's just strange, I wouldn't feel it. Person can only feel ready when things are happening. You can't magically turn ready while sitting alone in your room, and realize "OK, now I'm ready to kiss him."
      Try to kiss her next tme, you may try with kissing her near mouth or on neck or in internal part of hand, while you are cudding.... if you think kiss on mouth would be too huge step.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by ivaiva ().

    • Re: Kissing Confusion

      Basically I'm in agreement with what Linda and ivaiva said. What you need to realize is important though is what Linda said by saying "Back off". I would take it kind of annoying if someone kept asking me "are you ready to kiss yet? Yes or no?" I say just give it a shot when you two are together, and see if she lets you. If not, as Linda said back off and try again a little later.

      I know this is basically a summery of what Linda said, but I feel it needs to be stressed. You don't want to push her beyond her comfort zone, and if you continue how you are you just might.
      [LEFT][SIZE=2]"Adapt and Overcome"[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [RIGHT]"Funny how the truth sounds so cliche"[/RIGHT]
      [RIGHT]~Jack Ingram[/RIGHT]
      [CENTER]
      [SIZE=1][/SIZE][/CENTER]

    • Re: Kissing Confusion

      Basically everything the girls have said, if she says she is not ready then you must respect that, it takes some people a while for them to be ready, just make her feel as comfortable as possible and let her know that you will wait until she is ready to kiss. I would refrain from asking her, it just sends out the wrong message and she will get more uncomfortable and upset at you. Maybe instead of asking just try and go for the kiss and see if she stops you or not, a kiss cant be something thats planned, it needs to be spontaneous, but if she denies you then just bide your time, relax and maybe try again in a few weeks or something.
      People think the Irish are a bunch of drunks and brawlers, and that makes us soo mad sometimes that we just want to get drunk and punch somebody.