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I saw this beautiful girl, Alexis, two years ago in the hallway, but back then I was just completely smitten, and I was under too much bad circumstance to ask her out. I just saw her for 5 mins and she left. My first mistake was not getting her number. This was at the end of the school year after school. I added her on facebook during the summer, and commented on like one of her pics saying she was pretty, my second mistake. Retrospect, I should have tried talking to her on chat, but I was afraid of not getting replies. Anyways, some other stuff happened on facebook(not brutal, but enough where she'd get annoyed.), and I stop attempting to talk to her on there. I deleted her because she was causing too much stress for me.
Next year, it took me 7 months (and other girls) to get the guts to talk to her in person, afraid of rejection---my third mistake. Turns out she was incredibly cool, but she didn't know who I was. But I asked if we could hang out, and she said yes, smiling and everything. I msg her on facebook, I get no reply, with my friend request denied. I made it clear who I was, but she recognized my name, and probably realized who it was who's been trying to chat with her in person. Days later, I attempted to talk to her again...but it was cold and stiff....resulting in her blocking me from her facebook.
I don't know how all of this dragged so far....I should've just asked her for her number the moment I saw her. It was so immature the way I handled trying to talk to her----and now she thinks I'm a giant creeper. I'm a senior now---and before I graduate, I'd be my dream to just have one date with her....or at least end on civil terms. But I can't let it end like this. I was a stupid sophomore when I first met her. Is there anyway to fix this? I have tried getting her from my mind----talked to other girls, but all I see is her. At this point, I might just have to accept it as a lesson---but is there any hope...?It's gotten to the point of paranoia and obsessiveness. I got rejected a year ago by who I thought was easily the most gorgeous girl at the school. I came off as pretty weird and she blocked me from her facebook. I've grown so much as a person believe it or not, but im suffering from a mixture of senioritis and depression---and I literally can't stand another second of high school. I always feel like i'm longing for her attention...even when she couldn't give a damn about me. I feel like there's always faint hope such as in the movies, even when I ought to know better. I have these bleak fantasies that she'll eventually come around or we'll be in a position where I can show her I'm really a cool guy. I realize that I sound really strange and messed up now, but I will never appear that way at school or anywhere social. I'm always the cool, laid back guy who seems "perfect."---but in reality I'm a steaming mess of craziness and regret. I'm afraid to let every other girl in, and the ones who really catch my eye always reject me due to well..that's just life. But in the end of the day...I really just wish I could get her out of my head...because I know that it's impossible. The only way I'll ever get over her is when I'll graduate---and I know i'll never see her again. She doesn't know I feel this way...and I'll never let her know that i'm practically crazy because of her. I will never let anyone know. I have a good life, I know that...but this entire thing has just stretched too far. I've turned a simple crush into an obsession.
I feel lost...and empty. There are days where I've just drowned myself in misery, and it's just so pathetic. She really was the girl of my dreams.
Please can anyone give me advice?
I saw this beautiful girl, Alexis, two years ago in the hallway, but back then I was just completely smitten, and I was under too much bad circumstance to ask her out. I just saw her for 5 mins and she left. My first mistake was not getting her number. This was at the end of the school year after school. I added her on facebook during the summer, and commented on like one of her pics saying she was pretty, my second mistake. Retrospect, I should have tried talking to her on chat, but I was afraid of not getting replies. Anyways, some other stuff happened on facebook(not brutal, but enough where she'd get annoyed.), and I stop attempting to talk to her on there. I deleted her because she was causing too much stress for me.
Next year, it took me 7 months (and other girls) to get the guts to talk to her in person, afraid of rejection---my third mistake. Turns out she was incredibly cool, but she didn't know who I was. But I asked if we could hang out, and she said yes, smiling and everything. I msg her on facebook, I get no reply, with my friend request denied. I made it clear who I was, but she recognized my name, and probably realized who it was who's been trying to chat with her in person. Days later, I attempted to talk to her again...but it was cold and stiff....resulting in her blocking me from her facebook.
I don't know how all of this dragged so far....I should've just asked her for her number the moment I saw her. It was so immature the way I handled trying to talk to her----and now she thinks I'm a giant creeper. I'm a senior now---and before I graduate, I'd be my dream to just have one date with her....or at least end on civil terms. But I can't let it end like this. I was a stupid sophomore when I first met her. Is there anyway to fix this? I have tried getting her from my mind----talked to other girls, but all I see is her. At this point, I might just have to accept it as a lesson---but is there any hope...?It's gotten to the point of paranoia and obsessiveness. I got rejected a year ago by who I thought was easily the most gorgeous girl at the school. I came off as pretty weird and she blocked me from her facebook. I've grown so much as a person believe it or not, but im suffering from a mixture of senioritis and depression---and I literally can't stand another second of high school. I always feel like i'm longing for her attention...even when she couldn't give a damn about me. I feel like there's always faint hope such as in the movies, even when I ought to know better. I have these bleak fantasies that she'll eventually come around or we'll be in a position where I can show her I'm really a cool guy. I realize that I sound really strange and messed up now, but I will never appear that way at school or anywhere social. I'm always the cool, laid back guy who seems "perfect."---but in reality I'm a steaming mess of craziness and regret. I'm afraid to let every other girl in, and the ones who really catch my eye always reject me due to well..that's just life. But in the end of the day...I really just wish I could get her out of my head...because I know that it's impossible. The only way I'll ever get over her is when I'll graduate---and I know i'll never see her again. She doesn't know I feel this way...and I'll never let her know that i'm practically crazy because of her. I will never let anyone know. I have a good life, I know that...but this entire thing has just stretched too far. I've turned a simple crush into an obsession.
I feel lost...and empty. There are days where I've just drowned myself in misery, and it's just so pathetic. She really was the girl of my dreams.
Please can anyone give me advice?
