I recently told my gay friend that I am bi curious. (about one day ago at school) we have been friends for a year now and I am a bit confused about my sexuality (not exactly straight) i feel more male oriented and need some helpful hints so it does not get awkward between us. I have been wanting to ask him out (he has not had a gay relationship yet) but I am afraid of what my family and other people I know might think. I am 14 and at that tender time of high school where there are the idiots who mock people like me and my friends and i do not want to ruin our friendship.
Relationship problems
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On what your friends and fam might think:
I had my first gay "relationship" (it was more of a friends w/ benefits kinda deal and the benefits got really good) when I was thirteen-fourteen and it was actually pretty easy to keep hidden without even really trying and personally I liked it better just because it was our little secret. Plus, if you're still in the curious stage then you might not want the relationship to be common knowledge to other people.
On asking him out w/o things getting akward:
Just about everything you go thru in your teen years is akward at some point or another and the saying "it is better to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all" has been very true for me over the years. If you want to ask him out then you gotta take the risk that it will end up akward. It may turn out badly but it might also turn out great and if you never take the risk, you may not get hurt but loneliness and confusion can end up hurting just as much as akwardness and/or a broken heart. Just my opinion.
Hope it works out for you :wink:20/M/Suquamish, WA, USA/Gay
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Avacraft wrote:
On what your friends and fam might think:
I had my first gay "relationship" (it was more of a friends w/ benefits kinda deal and the benefits got really good) when I was thirteen-fourteen and it was actually pretty easy to keep hidden without even really trying and personally I liked it better just because it was our little secret. Plus, if you're still in the curious stage then you might not want the relationship to be common knowledge to other people.
On asking him out w/o things getting akward:
Just about everything you go thru in your teen years is akward at some point or another and the saying "it is better to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all" has been very true for me over the years. If you want to ask him out then you gotta take the risk that it will end up akward. It may turn out badly but it might also turn out great and if you never take the risk, you may not get hurt but loneliness and confusion can end up hurting just as much as akwardness and/or a broken heart. Just my opinion.
Hope it works out for you :wink:
pretty much exactly this My first relationship started out super dooper awkwardly but got heaps heaps better. We were together for 6 months until his father got posted to the other side of the country (his dad was in the airforce)... It was horrible when he left, and only got worse because he said he would try to make it work but after about a month found someone else and it kinda ended a bit messy.
But I'v been with my current boyfriend for almost 7 months now and everything's going great. I am so incredibly happy I stepped out of my comfort zone even though I was very hesitant to do so after my last relationship.
I subscribe to Jonathan Larson's lyrics from RENT.
there is no future
there is no past
thank god this moments not the last
theres only us
theres only this
forget regret
or life is yours to miss
no other road no other way
no day but today
Quite possibly my favorite lyrics ever.
[ame='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqpqpH3XWfM']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqpqpH3XWfM[/ame]
YouTube - RENT: Filmed Live on Broadway - Your Eyes/Finale B[LEFT][COLOR="Black"]“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”[/COLOR][/LEFT]
[COLOR="DarkRed"][RIGHT]Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore - Just chillin' out down here at Kings Cross Station y'all! It's a bit foggy though... what's up with that?[/RIGHT][/COLOR]
[CENTER][/CENTER]The post was edited 4 times, last by Albus Dumbledore ().
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Someone's hatin' on my post. So i'll take it off."Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark TwainThe post was edited 1 time, last by K 1 N G ().
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you don't have to announce it to the world until your certain. Try it out, you may not even like it.
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Hey okay, in my personal opinion I think you should just totally ignore and forget about these idiots that put you off the idea. If you like someone, then nothing should stop you from going for it and trying to make something happen if you want to ask out this guy, then you should. The people who really matter, and who are really your friends and whatever, will not change their views on you because you are with someone of the same sex or whatever! And the people who do treat you differently because of this are really, honestly not worth your time.
However, having said that I know it is not that simple. I had a thing a wee while ago with a very good friend of mine, we are both girls. And it only lasted a couple of weeks, and it was totally private because we both knew that a lot of our good friends would not accept it at all and that it would really change our relationships with them. Looking back I know that what we did was fair, however it does not feel good having to do that. You should never feel like you have to lie to your friends and if the person really is worth it, you won't.
Basically what I'm trying to say here is, if you feel that being with this guy for however long you are together, is worth the shit you might have to take for it, then go for it. Do not ever let anyone else stop you from doing what makes you happy.