over everything.

    • over everything.

      Okay, I was only at school on friday last week, because I've been sick and mum made me go back, to get homework and such so I could catch up over the weekend. So when I go back, Im still feeling like shit to be honest but to make matters worse. My bestfriend hates the world for some unknown reason to me, and he wont flipping tell me. And I know him well enough not to push him into telling me things, it only makes him mad at me. So I asked him a few times and tried to give him hugs and let him know I was there, but he just wasn't having any of it, so I told him where I'd be, trying to give him some space but at the same time letting him know that I was there for him, if he needed me. But he full lost it at me. And he was on the verge of tears the whole day and all that jazz, and when I checked his facebook page, I saw all these upset status'.

      I really don't know what to freaking do, I hate when he's upset. He's my best friend and I can't help him if I don't know what it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm still trying, but I was texting him last night and he finally told me he done shit on an English thing, he still passed it though, and I know him well enough to know, that it couldn't just be a crap score in one class to put him in that much of a bad mood. So I completely pour my heart out to him telling him I don't like not being able to help, that I want to be able to help him that I want to be there for him and everything that he's my best friend and he means the world to me. And he tells me he doesn't want my help.

      So yeah, just a little upset. .... Yeah okay I'm a freaking wreak. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but lately I've been really over emotional, I don't remember if I posted here about it, I think I did but I ended up crying at the movies with him over something stupid. And I'm either really happy, or really sad or really angry there's no inbetween. So yeah right now I'm at rock bottom. Well nearly. I'm actually so upset, it hurts. If anyone has ever had that before. It sucks. I HATE emotional pain. I'd love to be able to switch my emotions off.

      So yeah, I used to cut, just so people know where I'm at, but I've stopped a few months ago, and I'm currently trying to use bio oil to reduce my scars I hate my arms and legs and I WONT wear a short sleeve shirt or a dress/shorts. Because of my scars. And I threw away my razor blade the last time I used it. So I have nothing that I can use to inflict harm on myself, so I'm not in danger of that. My parents know I used to cut, but they think I stopped like over a year ago. I'm just pretty good at hiding myself, and the fact it's winter helps me there.

      SO yeah, Im just really upset, and I hate the fact that I'm crying over this. He's like the only freaking person that can make me flipping cry without really trying, and I hate it. I hate the fact I've given him so much power over my emotional state of mind, when it's a pretty unstable thing to begin with. Guh!.
    • Re: over everything.

      If your friend won't accept your help, you can't force it. All you can do is what you've been doing, which is asking him and trying to get him to tell you, and letting him know you're there for him. That's the best you can do. He'll either come around when he really needs it or hits rock bottom himself and realizes he needs to talk to you, or he'll deal with it on his own. Sometimes people just need to do that. But you're a really good friend for just doing what you're doing now.

      As for your emotions, how old are you? Your hormones can add to the depression you seem to have. It may not be the sole cause, but it may account for the either feeling happy or sad. I know it's hard to deal with emotional pain. It's the worst kind in my opinion, but it's something that life throws at us that we have to muddle through. Sometimes it's harder than other times. The things you have to keep in mind though, is that it ends. Sure, something else may start again, but that too will end. It's not going to last forever. I know that's hard to see at this time because you're going through it, but try and think of the big picture of your life rather than the now.

      Congratulations on stopping cutting. I know how hard it can be to do that, and even harder to throw out the razor and all. It's a big step in recovery and you should really know how strong you are for doing that. The wearing long sleeve shirts and such is a part of dealing with what you've done. it's good you're trying to get rid of the scars, if you do it'll make you feel a little better about yourself and less self conscious about wearing shorts, dresses or short sleeves.
      [LEFT][SIZE=2]"Adapt and Overcome"[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [RIGHT]"Funny how the truth sounds so cliche"[/RIGHT]
      [RIGHT]~Jack Ingram[/RIGHT]
    • Re: over everything.

      I understand 100%
      One of my close guy friends has done that recently...
      Your a good friend for letting him know that you're there for him and showing him how worried you are, even though he may seem bothered by it now, he's going to need to eventually tell someone, most likely you because you're showing how much you care.
      Also think about the things he has told you before that have been troubling him.
      For example my friend told me he wanted to get high and jus overdose and die, i have my own personal reasons for me not wanting to do drugs, let alone die, but also it could ruin his future. When he said he wanted to get high and go waste time and life i instantly remembered him telling me about people on his football team teasing him because his shoulder was injured so he couldn't and still can't play. They would tell him he was waisting his time trying to do things he couldn't, and he was waisting his time. Alot of the little things hes said before will come up now an hint off what he's so upset about.

      You really are being a good friend and congratz on stopping cutting, and i hope this all works out(:
      [COLOR="Sienna"]Tale as Old as Time, [/COLOR]
      [COLOR="SandyBrown"]Song as Old as Rhyme,[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="Yellow"]Beauty and the Beast[/COLOR]:lovey:
    • Re: over everything.

      Most of the times guys such as my self we hold it in and deal with it by are self but in this case u really need to sit him down make sure is sober and Payin attention and then talk to him try to pull it out ask if it's bout the football if not ur gona have to dig ur Gona have be with him step by step to just make sure he don't kill him self lik u said and the first replier said just be with him show that u care. Maybe u can fake some depression and be lik mine is so bad and he might say wats wrong with him. Sometimes it works. But ur Gina have to fig it out of him but gentally to force it to hard. Tell him that there is nothing in life firing for except family so it cant be that bad tell him that if he kills himself and leaves everyone will be sad and depressed and they might kill them self u don't want that do u? Tell him that it might help. Good luck tell him that only weak ppl or bad ppl have these thoughts. It sounds stupid but sometimes the stupid stuff works the best trust me I know. Sorry for any spelling errors Ian on my iPod
      Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
    • Re: over everything.

      I understand completely what you're going through here...I'm the same way when it comes down to my best friends. When something is even slightly wrong with them, it's like a big, black cloud hanging over my own head. It's completely overwhelming.
      But here's one thing you can do.. Although you can't force someone(in this case, your friend) to tell you what's going on or how their feeling, you can try to make them feel better. You've already told him that you're there for him, he knows that, let it go... Instead, maybe take him for a fun day just hnging out...do something that can take his mind off of whatever may be bothering him! And as for you, you're doing nothing wrong, and it's natural to be concerned for your friends, but try not to let his emotional state affect yours so much. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but it has to happen, or you're putting your own peace at mind and emotional health at major risk.

      Message me if you need someone to talk to!
    • Re: over everything.

      Oh wow, thanks to everyone who replied to this.
      I was just really upset when I posted.

      Uhm for the first reply I'm 17.

      He's still pretty weird with me, we've still not 'fell back into place' for lack of a better term. Although he did come up and hug me last week at the end of the day nearly in tears, so I know he's getting there. I mean at least he's coming to me for some form of comfort right?
    • Re: over everything.

      I'm glad to hear there's SOME improvement. I'm sure it'll get better with time. Like others said, and speaking from my own personal self, guys tend to keep things to themselves. I had a best friend whose dad died very recently and I had the hardest time "being there for him" because, like, how the hell am I supposed to do that? Now it's been a while since the funeral and he came up to me (my friend I mean) and said, "Thank you so much for being there during that hard time."

      He will eventually realize that your presence is enough and you are being more than a great friend by just "being there" and caring and worrying. If he wants to talk about it, he will know that he has you waiting for him. If not and he decides to deal with it by himself, then that's fine too. Don't sweat it. People deal in different ways. Just stay there and be with him whenever he needs you.

      If you need anything, PM me :)