Okay, I was only at school on friday last week, because I've been sick and mum made me go back, to get homework and such so I could catch up over the weekend. So when I go back, Im still feeling like shit to be honest but to make matters worse. My bestfriend hates the world for some unknown reason to me, and he wont flipping tell me. And I know him well enough not to push him into telling me things, it only makes him mad at me. So I asked him a few times and tried to give him hugs and let him know I was there, but he just wasn't having any of it, so I told him where I'd be, trying to give him some space but at the same time letting him know that I was there for him, if he needed me. But he full lost it at me. And he was on the verge of tears the whole day and all that jazz, and when I checked his facebook page, I saw all these upset status'.
I really don't know what to freaking do, I hate when he's upset. He's my best friend and I can't help him if I don't know what it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm still trying, but I was texting him last night and he finally told me he done shit on an English thing, he still passed it though, and I know him well enough to know, that it couldn't just be a crap score in one class to put him in that much of a bad mood. So I completely pour my heart out to him telling him I don't like not being able to help, that I want to be able to help him that I want to be there for him and everything that he's my best friend and he means the world to me. And he tells me he doesn't want my help.
So yeah, just a little upset. .... Yeah okay I'm a freaking wreak. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but lately I've been really over emotional, I don't remember if I posted here about it, I think I did but I ended up crying at the movies with him over something stupid. And I'm either really happy, or really sad or really angry there's no inbetween. So yeah right now I'm at rock bottom. Well nearly. I'm actually so upset, it hurts. If anyone has ever had that before. It sucks. I HATE emotional pain. I'd love to be able to switch my emotions off.
So yeah, I used to cut, just so people know where I'm at, but I've stopped a few months ago, and I'm currently trying to use bio oil to reduce my scars I hate my arms and legs and I WONT wear a short sleeve shirt or a dress/shorts. Because of my scars. And I threw away my razor blade the last time I used it. So I have nothing that I can use to inflict harm on myself, so I'm not in danger of that. My parents know I used to cut, but they think I stopped like over a year ago. I'm just pretty good at hiding myself, and the fact it's winter helps me there.
SO yeah, Im just really upset, and I hate the fact that I'm crying over this. He's like the only freaking person that can make me flipping cry without really trying, and I hate it. I hate the fact I've given him so much power over my emotional state of mind, when it's a pretty unstable thing to begin with. Guh!.
I really don't know what to freaking do, I hate when he's upset. He's my best friend and I can't help him if I don't know what it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm still trying, but I was texting him last night and he finally told me he done shit on an English thing, he still passed it though, and I know him well enough to know, that it couldn't just be a crap score in one class to put him in that much of a bad mood. So I completely pour my heart out to him telling him I don't like not being able to help, that I want to be able to help him that I want to be there for him and everything that he's my best friend and he means the world to me. And he tells me he doesn't want my help.
So yeah, just a little upset. .... Yeah okay I'm a freaking wreak. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but lately I've been really over emotional, I don't remember if I posted here about it, I think I did but I ended up crying at the movies with him over something stupid. And I'm either really happy, or really sad or really angry there's no inbetween. So yeah right now I'm at rock bottom. Well nearly. I'm actually so upset, it hurts. If anyone has ever had that before. It sucks. I HATE emotional pain. I'd love to be able to switch my emotions off.
So yeah, I used to cut, just so people know where I'm at, but I've stopped a few months ago, and I'm currently trying to use bio oil to reduce my scars I hate my arms and legs and I WONT wear a short sleeve shirt or a dress/shorts. Because of my scars. And I threw away my razor blade the last time I used it. So I have nothing that I can use to inflict harm on myself, so I'm not in danger of that. My parents know I used to cut, but they think I stopped like over a year ago. I'm just pretty good at hiding myself, and the fact it's winter helps me there.
SO yeah, Im just really upset, and I hate the fact that I'm crying over this. He's like the only freaking person that can make me flipping cry without really trying, and I hate it. I hate the fact I've given him so much power over my emotional state of mind, when it's a pretty unstable thing to begin with. Guh!.