Pinned Teen's Guide to Flirting

    • Teen's Guide to Flirting

      Guide to Flirting: The Do's and Don'ts.

      Flirting is a part of Human nature, nearly every species on the planet has their own method of wooing a mate, every animal on the planet has their own methods of Flirting, to make them appear distinctive to any potential mates. Flirting is a part of human nature, which is not surprising seen as if we did not initiate contact or express an interest in anyone we found sexually attractive, we would not progress to reproduction and the human race would become extinct. It does not matter how good or bad you are at flirting, a little education and etiquette in flirting can never harm your chances of getting the person you are trying to seduce.

      Every person on the planet has the abilty to flirt, it can come easy to some and difficult for others, but we are all capable of flirting. Like every human activity there are a complex set of unwritten laws. These rules dictate where, when and with whom we flirt with, we usually obey these rules instinctively without even realizing we are doing so. We are only made aware that we follow these rules when someone breaks one of these unwritten laws, by flirting with the wrong person or at an inappropriate time. Men in particular find it difficult to interpret the subtle signs in flirting that women give off in their body language. For instance mistaking friendliness for sexual interest. There is no one way to flirt, as everyone is different, the important thing is to find what works for you and stick to it. Never try and be something your not because people can see through that straight away. The best thing you can ever do when flirting is be yourself.

      How to Flirt:

      Humor:

      Humor is a great way to engage both men and women, everyone appreciates a person who can make them laugh, this makes the person want to stay around you more and more if you are fun and up for a laugh. It is very important when you first meet a girl/guy to keep the humor clean and fun. It is OK to tease, but make sure you are not offending anyone or teasing too much, some people are more sensitive than others, and teasing can sometimes come across as being mean.

      Confidence Vs Arrogance:

      Confidence is one of the main ways we get someone to like us. Everyone loves someone who is confident but hate someone who is Arrogant. Whether you are cheerfully confident guy or just acting, make sure you steer clear of the arrogant kind of confidence. Remember just because you feel good does not mean you are better than anyone else.

      Compliments:

      I love compliments, you love compliments, we all love compliments. Complimenting a person is a great way to build up the confidence in both people and a great non pressure way gain a rapport with the person you are complimenting. A compliment makes us all feel good, and if you read the persons body language you can tell whether your compliments are working. Of course the content of your compliment is very very important so choose your compliments wisely. Great examples of compliments are: "I love your hair", or "Your eyes are so beautiful", or "that top looks incredible on you" etc. Use your better judgement when using compliments.

      Hold a Gaze:

      Naturally we all look at a person we find attractive, the hard part is holding your gaze if they look at you. I know naturally we tend to look away if someone catches us looking at them, but try and practice looking at them when they see you. Research shows that people who hold their gaze on a person has a greater chance of physical attraction towards the person you are looking at. It shows you are confident in yourself. It is very important to understand the difference between a gaze and a stare though, don't let things become awkward. If someone catches you looking at them then hold your gaze for 1 second more than you would feel comfortable with. That one second could determine everything that may or may not happen between you. It is a great way to get better at it, once you get comfortable with that amount of time, try 1 second more and so on. The chances of someone being sexually attracted to you could hugely increase with just a look.

      Chivalry:

      Many think that only men can be chivalrous but women are too, although it maybe more subtle compared to being a Gentleman. For some people they may think that Chivalry is dead, for others they feel that a relationship may not have ever started without it. For guys, it is very important when trying to make an impression with a girl and first impressions are everything. It is never hard to be a Gentleman, holding a door open for someone, helping someone who is holding something heavy, generally being a decent human being can hugely help in making someone see you in a better light. As a gentleman, you always remain Chivalrous. This means you hold open doors for her, pull out her chair, take off her jacket, if she is cold you offer her your coat, even walking arm in arm if she would like. You allow her up stairs first (if she falls you can catch her) and you walk before her down the stairs unless she insists, then you walk side by side. If you ask her out, you pay for the entire night. If she asks you out, you offer to pay but allow her the final decision. If she insists on paying then you let her and offer to take her out again on your shout of course.
      Women also have their own code of Chivalry, which many people do not realize, it is very similar to the mans version but more subtle. It means she will consider you in things. She will find out what you like and dislike. It means she will rub your shoulders if you have had a rough day. Its basically the simple things that we take for granted that is when women are Chivalrous.

      Let him/her talk:

      Everyone likes to talk about themselves. It is very important to ask each other questions and really listen to what each other say when they are talking instead of thinking of what you can say next. If you take something that the other says then you can build on that and take the conversation forward. It is very important to also look into a persons eyes when they talk, it means you are really taking an interest in what the other is saying. Listen when you have to listen and talk when you have to talk, its important though to know when to do what. Women also love a guy who listens, it is a great trait to have.



      Where to Flirt
      Parties

      Flirting is most socially acceptable at parties, celebrations and social occasions. Such events include Christmas/New Years/Birthdays, a degree of flirtatious behavior is not only acceptable at these events, but almost expected.

      This is because at these social events and parties, there is a temporary, structured relaxation of social controls. People are more open to approaches from potential partners and enjoy flirting with a person they are interested in.

      Drinking- places

      Flirting is also socially acceptable in some public settings, usually where alcohol is served you will find people flirting not too far away. Places like bars, pubs, night clubs, discos, wine bars, restaurants etc. A lot of currents meet their current partners in a pub/club and alcohol was voted the most effective aid to flirting. Of course alcohol should be drank responsibly and not used as a way to get the courage to flirt with people.

      Flirting in drinking places though requires a lot more conditions and restrictions compared to parties. For instance, the area around the bar or counter is universally understood to be the 'public zone', where initiating a conversation with a stranger is socially acceptable, whereas sitting at a table indicates that these people want their privacy so approaching someone who is sitting with a group of people is definitely a no no. Tables furthest from the bar are the more 'private zones'.

      As a rule of thumb, the more food oriented establishments tend to discourage flirting between strangers, while those dedicated to drinking and dancing offer socially sanctioned flirting opportunities. 'Private zones' within drinking establishments are usually reserved for flirting between established partners.

      Learning places

      Schools, Colleges, Universities and other education establishments are hot beds for flirtatious activity. This is largely because it is full of young single people making their first attempts at mate selections.

      Flirting is also more socially acceptable here because of the shared lifestyles and concerns of students, and the informal atmosphere makes it easier to initiate a conversation between two people. Another reason why flirting is so common here is because simply by being students they will have similar concerns, interests and a great deal more in common with each other, and will not need to struggle to find topics of mutual interest.

      Workplace

      At work, flirting is usually acceptable but only within certain areas, with certain people and at specific times or occasions. There is no Universal laws: each workplace has its own unwritten laws governing flirtatious behavior.

      In some companies, the coffee machine, water cooler, or cafeteria/lunch room is usually designated as the 'Flirting Zones', other companies may frown upon flirting between managers or staff members within working hours.

      Careful observation of fellow workmates is usually the best way to discover the unspoken flirting etiquette of your workplace. But make sure you are guided by the behavior of the highest regarded individual of your workplace.

      Participating Sports/Hobbies

      Almost all sports/hobbies can involve flirting. However the level of flirtatious behavior, often tends to be related to whatever sport or hobby you are involved in at first, or it can be related to how serious the other person is about their activity. For instance, competitive participants of an activity maybe less open to social interactions.

      Before you join any team or club, find out first whether they are high achievers, or have burning ambitions to win leagues and trophy's. If you are just in it to find flirting opportunities it is better to find an activity that is mainly happy and full of under achievers, or people who are just their to have some fun.

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      The post was edited 1 time, last by kopite ().