I'm bisexual.
I've known it my whole life.
I never have told anyone who knows me in real life it.
I always thought that since I'm attracted to both, I can just stick with guys and no one has to know that I like girls too. Life would be easier that way, and I wouldn't have to worry about being accepted or not.
It never was a problem. I dated boys, I fell in love with boys, I was friends with girls. I mean, anytime I made a comment about finding a girl hot or anything I would always defend it with "what, I can admit to other girls being attractive without liking them!" So none of my friends know. Not even my friend who's a lesbian.
Part of the reason I don't want to say anything is that I go to all girls school. And a lot of girls, not being exposed to guys, are confused and are bisexual or lesbian in high school and they get judged as being all girls school lesbians, confused, boy deprived... and I don't want that. I know that's not me because I liked girls before all girls school. I liked girls before I liked guys, I actually thought I was a lesbian for about a year when I was 8 years old... then I got a crush on a guy and I wondered what was going on. But now I know 100% I'm bisexual. But I tell everyone I'm strait. Since I'm always with guys, or heartbroken by guys, everyone believes it.
Most of the time, I think about guys who I love, or who have broken my heart and I'm just attracted to girls. Like, when you see a cute guy on the street and you think "damn" ... I think that about both. But I always brush it off when it's a girl, because I don't want anyone to know.
Today is the first time I've felt like I had to come to terms with my sexuality.
When I was 8 was the only time I had a real crush on a girl. And it was someone I never saw again after that year, I barely remember who she was, only that I really liked her, but never said anything. Between now and then I've only had girls I was attracted to, never ones I had feelings for, or I brushed it off and they never became strong feelings.
But now. This is only the 2nd crush on a girl I've had, but oh my god, I don't know what to do.
I'm at sleepaway camp for the next 3 weeks and I've only known her 6 days but she's perfect. Beautiful. Funny. Sweet. Amazing. She does this face when she laughs that gives me butterflies and I can't speak or think of breathe. I've never had anyone who makes me that happy to be around.
I don't think she's bisexual. She talks about the guy she likes back home. (there was this one time she was texting him and asking me for help responding to his text and I took a peek at her conversation with him and she was telling me about her new friend who was really sweet and I think she was talking about me, I got so happy but I didn't say anything) Anyway, I know she likes boys. I'm hoping maybe she's bicurious, or confused open to the idea of it. But I don't know. Because I'm afraid to ask her because I'm afraid she'll judge me. And the last thing I want is to lose her as a friend. I'd rather have her as a best friend like we are now and have her never know than lose her all together, but it's just killing me how much I like her and how hard I fell.
There's no one in real life I can ask for help so please just tell me what to do. I need support and advice.

Richard wrote:

How does your lesbian friend get viewed upon in your school (assuming she goes to the same place as you)?

judgmentally. people say theyre supportive but talk behind her back kind of thing. they blame it on the all girls school. they feel uncomfortable around her.
but just so you know the girl i like now doesnt go to my school, i know her from camp.