What the hell am I dong here in this family? I dont belong here. Im a creep.

    • What the hell am I dong here in this family? I dont belong here. Im a creep.

      Do you have similar problems? I feel like being the only one... 9
      1.  
        No, but I would like to help and talk to you. (3) 33%
      2.  
        No, but I know someone suffering like you. (0) 0%
      3.  
        Yes, I am in a similar situation. (5) 56%
      4.  
        Yes, I am in a same situation. (1) 11%
      I really hate…
      I really hate my family. I feel, no, I KNOW that I don’t belong here. I don’t fit in this family. They’re all stupid. I mean, that I feel that they have a very low capacity of reasoning and thinking.
      Now I’ll tell you why I hate some members of this family.

      1. Grandma.
      I want her to die already. Everytime that she falls asleep in the couch, I just wanna put a pillow on her face and you know, “help her to not breathe anymore”. The only thing that she can do is annoy people and ruin their lives. For example, she is a friend of these two sisters, and she always reveals their secrets to the other sister so she can watch them fight. She finds it exciting. At home, you can hear her always complain, about everything. She says that it’s very hot outside, and then she tells me to turn on the hot water so she could have a shower. WTF?! it’s summer!

      And you can’t watch a movie in peace. She has always something to say. She talks more than all the characters of a movie. You can’t enjoy anything, neither eating, cuz she will say to you: “Don’t eat too much, don’t you see how fat you are?” does your grandma tell you that? And then, when you don’t eat, she’s really worried and says: “you should eat now” and some minutes later, while you’re eating “you will get really fat”.

      So why does she have to live with my family? But my family is not perfect neither.

      2. Mom and Dad.
      What’s wrong with her? What have I done to her? Maybe she never wanted me, cuz for my fault she couldn’t become a nurse. Dad is a cool guy, he is like a brother sometimes. But I feel that they never really wanted me, cuz they are always trying to change me, DO THEY HATE ME? Cuz they should love me for how I am…
      They never want me to tell my own opinion, cuz it’s the truth. And they can’t stand hearing it from their daughter, they are too proud.

      3. My sister.
      She can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but she’s sometimes she understands me. It’s good to talk to her while I’m crying for being in this family. I don’t hate her, but sometimes you just can’t see her face.

      I cry often, for being in the wrong family, for having no one to share my situation with, for having no one that could really understand me.

      So I have decided to become a psychologist, of teenagers in a similar situation, boys and girls that won’t have no one to talk with. I will help them to be independent, if they want to.

      the worst is that the only things that make me happy are listening to music and being with my hamsters. i know that they cant hurt me.
      being with my friends isnot helpful anymore. i smile and laugh with them, but inside i am suffering.:(

      many times i locked myself in the bathroom to find ways to "leave this world".
      i tried to cut myself, but i know that its not useful. i am still searching for a peaceful a quiet way to "disappear".

      And I shared this here to see if someone really cares about me. And me is equals to all those teenagers with problems with their families, and they wanna be independent, they want to be heard and they would like to have some authority. they just wanna live.
    • Re: What the hell am I dong here in this family? I dont belong here. Im a creep.

      Reality is quite brutal at times, and you sound amazing already having such an interesting aspiration. Don't put what your grandma says to heart, shes old and most likely cannot fathom what a younger teenager truly needs. I know your hatred and i also know that you do not mean it. =]

      Furthermore, at times it is quite hard for parents to face their children after work or after ordeals during their life, people are prone to find something to blame, i personally have had quite a rough childhood, but i have learnt that happiness does not arrive from lamenting the past and looking at the future.

      You have a bright future ahead of you, even if all falls apart there will always be people there for you, even if they're not your family. You have friends =], i suggest talking to one or two about your issues, or if you feel insecure feel free to pm me if anything comes up

      Good Luck