I feel pathetic.

    • I feel pathetic.

      Basically, I keep having these feelings, feelings that aren't right in my case. I feel worthless, unloved, pathetic, vulnerable, stupid, and a whole bunch of other things.
      I can't eat or sleep at all. I have one bite of food and I'm already full or I feel sick.
      I stay up all night, because I can't sleep knowing something is wrong.
      I have been through a thing called 'seasonal depression' where it can come and go. And i would break down everyday, and just cry. Now, I can't. I try not to let things hurt me as much as I used to. But, the more I try the more I get hurt. I don't feel good about myself. This is killing me inside. I sometimes imagine the world if I wasn't here. And how it would be, how my family and friends would be. And it all seems fine. I can't take this pain anymore. It's almost like, every step I take, someone is punching me in the gut. I don't usually tell people about my feelings, because I know it'll just bug them or something. I try to deal with it myself, but I just can't. Everything has just become way harder. I just smile and laugh with everyone else, making it seem nothing is wrong with me. But, I'm tried of feeling this pain. No one understands me, and I can't explain it to them. Heck, I can't explain it to myself either. I just want to feel loved, and wanted but I don't. I don't have the urge to talk to friends, or guy friends because most of them hurt me, without them knowing. And, I'm keeping myself away from them to help me. But, this feeling that I get around [most] guy friends is jealousy. I have no idea why. I used to have attention and laugh and go along with everybody. Now, I feel like nothing. I don't want to talk to most people, or i wonder why they stopped talking to me. It gets confusing, lol. I'm not used to this, and school is coming up which I'm hoping it'll help me. I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place and I don't know what to do. /:
      I know, it might not make sense, I just needed to vent all of this out. I've been keeping it in too long..

    • Re: I feel pathetic.

      This feeling is all too familiar, the feeling of hopelessness and that no one wants you no one loves you and the feeling to be alone. I also suffer from clinical depression, to be honest helping people on the internet is simply like therapy to me.

      Its hard, and to be able to have made this post is a brave step to recovery. Through life people experience happy days, stressful days and purely just shitty days. You may think that people around you don't care about you, however that is merely a mind attack caused by the depressive state. You are a courageous person and 2 years ago when my depression instigate i would never in the world would have been able to have even shared it with people online.

      It is always good to have someone to talk to, so try to talk to your parents sibling or friends, if not i'm free. If all else fails pick up a sport, i took up breakdancing and parkour. Enjoy yourself, life is mroe than what you see.
    • Re: I feel pathetic.

      I know exactly how you feel. I have had the same problems for four or five years. The best thing i know to tell you is to try and take things one minute at a time that way life may seem more manageable. Depression is truely a mountain to climb but when you reach the top you'll never believe just how beautiful the sunrise is. Of course you can talk to people on here when you need too. One of my major mistakes was bottling it all up. PM me if you want to talk. We're here for you.