One of my best friends is a lad and i trust him like noone else. I can be my self around him completely he is such a lovely person! We have been 'bestfriends' for atleast 4 years now and i don't know what ild do without him! Although we are very close we have different friends.. and through out the years they have always made jokes about us 'getting with each other' more on his behalf! Ive always had moments were ive been convinced by other people and myself that maybe he did like me, but i always just shook it off. Ive never looked at him in that kind of way but i have thought if i did he would be such a good boyfriend... Yesterday he told my friends how he really feels! And he said hes in love with me and always has been. I was and i wasnt supriced when they told me, but i cant help but feel slightly disserpointed like as if he never wanted to be my friend all along he liked me and i kind of feel lied to. But the negative over:P im in such an akward situation now and i need help? The main thing i dont want is to hurt him or worse loose him completely. I dont know if i should give him a chance as it might all work out but i feel like it isnt fair if im not attracted to him like that and if it doesnt work out and split up we would have ruined the friendship before completely but if i turn round and say no now i feel like i will loose him also! Can i win at all? I need help quick because im seeing him next at a party this weekend to 'talk' but it also means i cant 'get on' anyone else at this party right?
best friend or boyfriend!!?
-
sophiedanielle wrote:
One of my best friends is a lad and i trust him like noone else. I can be my self around him completely he is such a lovely person! We have been 'bestfriends' for atleast 4 years now and i don't know what ild do without him! Although we are very close we have different friends.. and through out the years they have always made jokes about us 'getting with each other' more on his behalf! Ive always had moments were ive been convinced by other people and myself that maybe he did like me, but i always just shook it off. Ive never looked at him in that kind of way but i have thought if i did he would be such a good boyfriend... Yesterday he told my friends how he really feels! And he said hes in love with me and always has been. I was and i wasnt supriced when they told me, but i cant help but feel slightly disserpointed like as if he never wanted to be my friend all along he liked me and i kind of feel lied to. But the negative over:P im in such an akward situation now and i need help? The main thing i dont want is to hurt him or worse loose him completely. I dont know if i should give him a chance as it might all work out but i feel like it isnt fair if im not attracted to him like that and if it doesnt work out and split up we would have ruined the friendship before completely but if i turn round and say no now i feel like i will loose him also! Can i win at all? I need help quick because im seeing him next at a party this weekend to 'talk' but it also means i cant 'get on' anyone else at this party right?
SO HE HAS LIKED YOU FOR 4 YEARS? THAT'S CRAZY.
BUT I SHOULD TELL YOU, IF YOU BECOME BF AND GF, AND IT DOES NOT WORK OUT, YOU WILL LOSE HIM FOR LIFE.
SO YOUR BEST OPTION IS TO JUST LET HIM DOWN EASY AND NOT LEAD HIM ON.
HE WILL BE HURT, BUT AT LEAST YOU BEING UPFRONT AND PUTTING IT DOWN GENTLY. THE POINT IS, HE WILL GET OVER THAT HURT.
YOU HAVE TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIS FRIENDSHIP AND YOU LOVE HIM FOR THAT, BUT NOT THE KIND OF LOVE HE FEELS FOR YOU.
TOOTLES. AND KEEP ME UPDATED.
. -
If you don't think you like him, you don't. You know how you feel. You could always pretend your friends didn't tell you, and try to act normal around him, but I'm thinking that'll be hard for you.
Talk to him about it, before the party. Tell him you found out from your friends what he "supposedly" said to them. Find out if that's true. If it is, voice out your thoughts about this situation. Perhaps his reaction and talking it out with him may help you in figuring out how you want to go about all this.
And he didn't lie to you in being his friend. He wanted to get closer to you, and by doing that he became your friend. It's not like there was some alternative plot behind being your friend. Sure, he likes you, and he has feelings for you, but he probably wanted to be your friend before that. The meaning of the friendship hasn't changed just because of those feelings. All the things you two did and said, still remain the same.[LEFT][SIZE=2]"Adapt and Overcome"[/SIZE][/LEFT]
[RIGHT]"Funny how the truth sounds so cliche"[/RIGHT]
[RIGHT]~Jack Ingram[/RIGHT]
[CENTER]
[SIZE=1][/SIZE][/CENTER] -
Trillium wrote:
If you don't think you like him, you don't. You know how you feel. You could always pretend your friends didn't tell you, and try to act normal around him, but I'm thinking that'll be hard for you.
Talk to him about it, before the party. Tell him you found out from your friends what he "supposedly" said to them. Find out if that's true. If it is, voice out your thoughts about this situation. Perhaps his reaction and talking it out with him may help you in figuring out how you want to go about all this.
And he didn't lie to you in being his friend. He wanted to get closer to you, and by doing that he became your friend. It's not like there was some alternative plot behind being your friend. Sure, he likes you, and he has feelings for you, but he probably wanted to be your friend before that. The meaning of the friendship hasn't changed just because of those feelings. All the things you two did and said, still remain the same.
.I DISAGREE WITH THAT POST. DON'T LISTEN TO THAT TRILLIUM COMMENT.
DO NOT TELL HIM. IF YOU TELL HIM, HE WILL BE CRUSHED THAT YOU KNOW AND STILL REJECTING HIM.
IF YOU FOUND OUT BY A THIRD PARTY, THEN YOU SHOULD JUST MAKE IT CLEAR TO HIM WHILE HANGING OUT, THAT YOU ARE GLAD HE IS YOUR FRIEND. AND THAT LET'S HOPE NOTHING CHANGES THAT, BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE CRUSHED IF YOU LOST HIM AS A FRIEND. AND BE LIKE, LET'S MAKE A DEAL TO NEVER RUIN THIS FRIENDSHIP.
-
Friendships don't always end becuase of telling someone you've like them from the beginning. I've been friends with a girl since we were 11, and although the relationship didn't exactly work out, we're still very close friends. However, if you truely do not like the kid, like Anti said, don't lead him on.
-
there is no friendship between boy and girl.it's human essence.just colleagues, cclassmates, parters ... but no close friends.it's impossible.
-
lolwhat^[CENTER]To the dumb question, 'Why me?' the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply, 'Why not?[/CENTER]
[CENTER]Hitchens[/CENTER] -
You wouldn't ruin anything. It'd be as awkward as you guys let it become. That will pass when you realize it's stupid. If you want to try then do it, cause over the course of a lifetime you lose every friendship eventually, so better to go with what you feel is best and TRY than to try to protect the status quo which is destined to change anyway.[COLOR="black"]When I'm not fighting mountain lions for sport, I read about broken homes, teenage depression, and other such life-improving awesomeness cause I'm weird like that[/COLOR]
-
Well, i am on the opposite side of a similar situation... and seriously just wish that it could be talked through..... without any judgement. I think the hardest part is that you know that he likes you, (my best friend knows that i like him) but you don't like him in that way at all. (he doesn't like me in that way). Clearly neither of you want to loose eachother, though for him to stop loving u, if that is what you want..... you need some time appart. As harsh as that sounds it is true. the sad part of it is that you could both be hurt by that.
So yeh, talk it through and then see where you want to go from there. Ultimately he has to accept that you don;t love him.... even if he loves you. and vise versa, if you can control the awkwadness then things can go on nearly as normal. -
Don't feel disappointed or think he's been lying to you all four years. That's silly talk. My theory is that guys and girls can never just be "best" friends because sooner or later feelings start to develop on at least one of the two parties. Along the way of getting to know you and being so close with you feelings developed. It doesn't mean he just wanted to be best friends with you in order to try to date you. However, if you're not attracted to him in that sense you need to tell him where you stand. Part of being in a friendship is complete honesty and you can't go in thinking that if you tell him how you feel that he's going to leave you only because he doesn't like the answer.
Give him the benefit of the doubt. Tell him where you stand and how your friendship comes first and how it might just bet best if you were better off as friends. There is nothing you can do if those feelings aren't there for him, they can't be forced. I had to turn down one of my guy friends because I was in the same situation as you. He took it hard at first and didn't talk to me for awhile, but that was different circumstances between us. Now we're friends again and everything is great. He isn't going to throw a friendship away just because you don't feel the same way he does. I'm not saying he's gonna take it easy, but in the end he's going to be there for you if your friendship these last four years has been true.
-
Share