I feel really stupid and confused. This whole case is so simple, and yet so complicated.
Let me start at the beginning.
Im a 15 year old guy. Im not very good with relations. In fact ive never had a girlfriend before. Or, "had" never had a girlfriend before is more like it. This school year i began on a boarding school. And i must say IT IS AWESOME. But before that i had lived a very relaxed and steady life. I woke up, ate breakfeast and went to school. When i came home i would either go to sports, hang around with my best friend or just stay at home and relax. Ive never been a very social person, though im far from asocial. The thing is, i lived 30 min. from almost all my friends, so i basicly only saw them at school.
Anyway, back on track.
Ive always kept myself out of relationships, partly because ive always felt that relationships at this age ( Meaning 12-15 years, and i would even claim untill 18 ) never really mean anything. And partly because im actually pretty shy. The fact that i had never had a girlfriend made me often wonder if i just wasnt that attractive.
Ive always just been that guy who kept away from problems and watched and learned from the mistakes of others. "Others" mostly meaning one of my best mates who i always hung around with. He was always "dating" someone. Not that he was a player. The girls always gathered around him at school, and they never had any problem confessing that they really liked him. And he was starting to get reallly annoyed by it xD
Anyway, basicly ive always been that guy who everyone knew and liked, but no one of importance. The guy with the guitar xD
Back to the present, or atleast the last 1-3 months. I just began on a boarding school. This school focuses on music, and i chose it because of my passion for playing guitar and singing.
Well, the first thing i that happens is that i become extremely popular, or atleast with the girls. But there was one girl, who i payed special attention to. Nothing to be noticed though, i kept more or less to myself. But one evening when we were having a campfire outside of the school, and i brought my guitar for a song or two ( or maby a whole koncert xD ). But by chance ( and this may sound wierd ) she sat and played on the piano we had carried outside. Anyway, i hesitated for a while, but then i decided to go sit with her and play.
We talked alot after that and hung around alot. One evening her roomate ( who by the way has been trying to get my attention alot ) asked me if liked Johanne ( the girl that ive been talking about ). I tried to avoid answering that question, since i knew that she liked me and i didnt wanna hurt their relationship. But she kept coming to me a few times and asked the same thing. In the end i told her the truth, that i liked Johanne. But i asked her not to tell Johanne, and she promised not to.
Still the same evening i got an sms saying " You like me?, like in "like" like me?" from Johanne. Wonder how she found out??
Anyway i answered her honestly and said yes.
She then asked if that meant could be together. And i typed with a big smile on my face "Guess so :)"
We were gonna keep it secret, because there is this rule at the school, that anyone who get together will be pulled outside and everyone will bring buckets of ice cold water to pour over you xD. Unless manage to stay together for a week without anyone noticing.
I hardly slept that night. I was so happy. I think i was in love, and i never experienced anything like that before.
The first day went fine, not much changed. We hung around alot anyway, so no one really noticed anything different. But the second day, a good friend of mine confessed to me that he really liked Johanne. And the poor guy didnt have a clue. He probably wanted to know if i also had feelings for her, since we were always together. I felt really bad. And i felt really bad for him. So i told him about me and her. He became quite sad after hearing that. He asked me if we couldnt "all just be friends" and if i actually loved her. He was clearly having a hard time accepting it. He later came to me a Johanne and asked if we could talk. He asked us if we couldnt all "just be friends". I dont know how he conviced us, but i think the fact that we both felt kinda sorry for him was a part of it. But just like that it was over. We all went seperate ways, since we had classes to attend to (ironicly we have almost all our classes together). I felt stupid almost instantly. The rest if the day went kinda awkwardly. We barely talked, and when we did we only said a few words.
Later that very same evening i decided that i would go talk to my friend, and try to explain him that we couldnt all "just be friends". I tried to tell him that things would just be awkward and we wouldnt talk much. But he wasnt convinced. But i told him that i was gonna ask her to get back together agian, and that this whole thing was silly. I asked him to understand, but he wouldnt. But i was gonna go ahead and ask her anyway. I went back to my room, and then went to find her. But when i found her, he had already talked to her, and made sure i wouldnt get my shot.
It ended up with awkward silence, and we all went to sleep.
I went through a minor depression the following weeks ( i know its kinda silly, but i really liked this girl ). We didnt really talk at all.
After 3 weeks she gets a new boyfriend, and they seemed to be really happy. They were alwats together and made out. I felt worse than before about it, but i also felt happy for her. My friend (who's name btw is Jonathan) on the other hand was really pissed at her boyfriend. And im sure he planned to make that clear. Thats where i snaped at him, and told him to leave her alone, and just let them be happy. I later went to talk to her boyfriend ( who's name is Jim, and who by the way also is a good friend of mine ) and told him to not give a damn about what Jonathan would do to try and break them up.
Anyway, they stayed together for a few weeks, and for some reason, she told Jim that me and her never were together, and that it was just a rumor. I dont really understand why she would say that, but i guess she didnt want him to know. But all of a sudden Jim started ignoring her. Not completely, but he said he needed some time alone, and avoided her. She talked to me about it. They later broke up.
That was like a month ago, and Jonathan now has a girlfriend. Jim and Johanne barely talk, and me and johanne have started hanging out agian. But i just feel so stupid, and theres nothing stopping me from asking her to be mine agian. And im pretty sure she is just waiting for me to make a move. But i dont know if i want to. Deep inside i really do.
But there's also this other girl that ive had a little crush on, but we never really talked. Untill recently. We started talking a bit, and i actually think that she likes me.
So now im kinda stuck... I still really do like Johanne, i think i could say that i loved her. But it just feels so wrong, though i have no idea why. I mean we never even as much as kissed.
Theres a lot more to this story, but i think this post is long enough for now.
But this is basicly where i stand "There's one girl that i think i love, but i just cant make sence of it all, and there is the other girl that i think is intrested in me, and that i like."
I just want some advice... As i said before
Its Simple but yet so complicated
Let me start at the beginning.
Im a 15 year old guy. Im not very good with relations. In fact ive never had a girlfriend before. Or, "had" never had a girlfriend before is more like it. This school year i began on a boarding school. And i must say IT IS AWESOME. But before that i had lived a very relaxed and steady life. I woke up, ate breakfeast and went to school. When i came home i would either go to sports, hang around with my best friend or just stay at home and relax. Ive never been a very social person, though im far from asocial. The thing is, i lived 30 min. from almost all my friends, so i basicly only saw them at school.
Anyway, back on track.
Ive always kept myself out of relationships, partly because ive always felt that relationships at this age ( Meaning 12-15 years, and i would even claim untill 18 ) never really mean anything. And partly because im actually pretty shy. The fact that i had never had a girlfriend made me often wonder if i just wasnt that attractive.
Ive always just been that guy who kept away from problems and watched and learned from the mistakes of others. "Others" mostly meaning one of my best mates who i always hung around with. He was always "dating" someone. Not that he was a player. The girls always gathered around him at school, and they never had any problem confessing that they really liked him. And he was starting to get reallly annoyed by it xD
Anyway, basicly ive always been that guy who everyone knew and liked, but no one of importance. The guy with the guitar xD
Back to the present, or atleast the last 1-3 months. I just began on a boarding school. This school focuses on music, and i chose it because of my passion for playing guitar and singing.
Well, the first thing i that happens is that i become extremely popular, or atleast with the girls. But there was one girl, who i payed special attention to. Nothing to be noticed though, i kept more or less to myself. But one evening when we were having a campfire outside of the school, and i brought my guitar for a song or two ( or maby a whole koncert xD ). But by chance ( and this may sound wierd ) she sat and played on the piano we had carried outside. Anyway, i hesitated for a while, but then i decided to go sit with her and play.
We talked alot after that and hung around alot. One evening her roomate ( who by the way has been trying to get my attention alot ) asked me if liked Johanne ( the girl that ive been talking about ). I tried to avoid answering that question, since i knew that she liked me and i didnt wanna hurt their relationship. But she kept coming to me a few times and asked the same thing. In the end i told her the truth, that i liked Johanne. But i asked her not to tell Johanne, and she promised not to.
Still the same evening i got an sms saying " You like me?, like in "like" like me?" from Johanne. Wonder how she found out??
Anyway i answered her honestly and said yes.
She then asked if that meant could be together. And i typed with a big smile on my face "Guess so :)"
We were gonna keep it secret, because there is this rule at the school, that anyone who get together will be pulled outside and everyone will bring buckets of ice cold water to pour over you xD. Unless manage to stay together for a week without anyone noticing.
I hardly slept that night. I was so happy. I think i was in love, and i never experienced anything like that before.
The first day went fine, not much changed. We hung around alot anyway, so no one really noticed anything different. But the second day, a good friend of mine confessed to me that he really liked Johanne. And the poor guy didnt have a clue. He probably wanted to know if i also had feelings for her, since we were always together. I felt really bad. And i felt really bad for him. So i told him about me and her. He became quite sad after hearing that. He asked me if we couldnt "all just be friends" and if i actually loved her. He was clearly having a hard time accepting it. He later came to me a Johanne and asked if we could talk. He asked us if we couldnt all "just be friends". I dont know how he conviced us, but i think the fact that we both felt kinda sorry for him was a part of it. But just like that it was over. We all went seperate ways, since we had classes to attend to (ironicly we have almost all our classes together). I felt stupid almost instantly. The rest if the day went kinda awkwardly. We barely talked, and when we did we only said a few words.
Later that very same evening i decided that i would go talk to my friend, and try to explain him that we couldnt all "just be friends". I tried to tell him that things would just be awkward and we wouldnt talk much. But he wasnt convinced. But i told him that i was gonna ask her to get back together agian, and that this whole thing was silly. I asked him to understand, but he wouldnt. But i was gonna go ahead and ask her anyway. I went back to my room, and then went to find her. But when i found her, he had already talked to her, and made sure i wouldnt get my shot.
It ended up with awkward silence, and we all went to sleep.
I went through a minor depression the following weeks ( i know its kinda silly, but i really liked this girl ). We didnt really talk at all.
After 3 weeks she gets a new boyfriend, and they seemed to be really happy. They were alwats together and made out. I felt worse than before about it, but i also felt happy for her. My friend (who's name btw is Jonathan) on the other hand was really pissed at her boyfriend. And im sure he planned to make that clear. Thats where i snaped at him, and told him to leave her alone, and just let them be happy. I later went to talk to her boyfriend ( who's name is Jim, and who by the way also is a good friend of mine ) and told him to not give a damn about what Jonathan would do to try and break them up.
Anyway, they stayed together for a few weeks, and for some reason, she told Jim that me and her never were together, and that it was just a rumor. I dont really understand why she would say that, but i guess she didnt want him to know. But all of a sudden Jim started ignoring her. Not completely, but he said he needed some time alone, and avoided her. She talked to me about it. They later broke up.
That was like a month ago, and Jonathan now has a girlfriend. Jim and Johanne barely talk, and me and johanne have started hanging out agian. But i just feel so stupid, and theres nothing stopping me from asking her to be mine agian. And im pretty sure she is just waiting for me to make a move. But i dont know if i want to. Deep inside i really do.
But there's also this other girl that ive had a little crush on, but we never really talked. Untill recently. We started talking a bit, and i actually think that she likes me.
So now im kinda stuck... I still really do like Johanne, i think i could say that i loved her. But it just feels so wrong, though i have no idea why. I mean we never even as much as kissed.
Theres a lot more to this story, but i think this post is long enough for now.
But this is basicly where i stand "There's one girl that i think i love, but i just cant make sence of it all, and there is the other girl that i think is intrested in me, and that i like."
I just want some advice... As i said before
Its Simple but yet so complicated
