I am sorry that my first post is so demanding and long... I am desperate... Maybe this forum will be my new home... If you have time or can read quickly, please read my writing... I will wait for answers... Please ask any question if you need you answers to help. I'll look around and maybe try to help out other ppl during the meantime...
So, I am having some problems with this girl whom I like; ill call her S. from now on. Ill explain everything that happened between as objective as I can.
Edit: It seems that my original post is too long.... In a nut shell, S., who I met 2 and a half years ago shows quite a few signs of interest (I think). She is apparently quite shy and quite a few boys are after her... She is Korean while I am Chinese... (Azn know what this means.) However, after getting to know her better, she became more and more withdrawal in the barely-a-friendship relationship and told me in a text message that she has a BF and I should leave her alone... However, the odd thing is her Facebook says she's single and her apparent BF is listed as a brother with a lot of stuff on his page about love and posts about S. I dont know what to do...
S. came to my highschool a bit over two years ago. We were in Grade 10 when we first met in class. We had one class together and she sat face to face with 5 meters between us (i know the setup is weird but that was how it was). During this class, I occasionally noticed a few stares from her (i think) but didnt think much of it. I often get looks like that from girls and just thought that she was cute. She is always shy and doesnt talk much and apparently only hangs around her Korean friends. (Im Chinese; I hope this doesnt make the situation worse... The Chinese group and Korean group are kinda distant in my school...) We worked together for only once and she was really shy. In front of girls, I always have this confident, I-think-is attractive persona while I am almost as shy as S. is.
During that summer, we ended up in the same summer school class. Since the summer school class was really small, I noticed her stares and body language a bit more. We worked together some more but she never talked much. I odd thing I noticed is that she wears really tall-heeled shoes…? (whatever they are called…) She’s relatively short and I’m relatively tall…. Lol, a lover’s bias.
A year passed (grade 11) without anything happening pretty much. I cant think of anything except seeing her in a biology exam where i sat in the first roll.
This year so far, a lot of things happened between us. Year started and we originally had 3 classes together. During the previous years I worked very hard in school so didnt think of this GFBF thing much. But since I finished the majority of my grade 12 courses, Im quite free now and thought about getting a girlfriend that will last (I know I sound naive at times but thats what I wish for… I want a beautiful relationship that will last in highschool… lol). So S. was on my radar and that was that for like 2 weeks. I fell in love with her about a month into school when we were on the hallway and stared at each other for about 5 seconds... She looked beautiful in the bright sunlight… So i fell in love with her and basically forgot about every other girl on my "radar".. Sad thing was that she transferred out of all three classes that we had together and it sucked for me... We kept having these stares but never spoke. She and her friends always come to eat at this room where I eat lunch… And I had gotten quite a few “extreme” (she turning her head for 100 degrees…) stares… Lol… I think there was also once when she tried to seduce me? Lol? I sound pathetic… I asked around and tried to find a way to share a class with S.. I found out that a lazy friend of mine wants me to substitute him for a teacher assistant block where S. is part of the class. So I took the opportunity even though I look very suspicious.
I kept looking for opportunities and one day I was chasing after this guy friend who I needed to talk to and saw her at one of the front doors staring outside and a bit at me (??? A lover is biased???) waiting for her parents to pick her up. I lost my friend and said hi to her. "Hey, it's S... right? we had summer school together a while back, rememeber?" "... yes...?" "Im .... remember me?" "... yes..?" "Are you waiting for your pickup or something?" ".. yes...?" "Cool, haha. What I am doing here..? Haha, see you around then" And I just turned away and walked.. Throughout our first "real" conversation, she smiled a lot even though she normally smiles little (i think). i smiled a bit and felt that it was difficult to continue the conv since she doesnt talk. I am always nervous when talking to her… So thats that.
Second time we talked, it was after the class where I was substituting for my friend as teacher assistant... I sat behind her on the last roll on my own (awkward~~~) and I knew she didnt hand it her homework and she laid on the desk for a bit looking a bit sick. After class, I first went "Hey, are you okay?" "... yes.." "okay" and i turned away looking at some random poster on the wall. and looked to my left and I saw her turning her head to her left and looking at me while I look at her... It was awkward but sweat... So i went "Hey, if you need any help with school, Im willing to help." "... okay..." and I left the room. She smiled at first for a moment but no more, I think she was in pain…
A little thing happened a while later... It was Remembrance Day (im Canadian) and we had to wear these poppy flower pin things. Before English class I was wondering around on the hall and saw S. and her friend going into the girls washroom (weird school loadout, I WASNT STALKING!!!) and I passed and went on. When I came back, I saw her looking at the direction where I was when I saw her entering the washroom while fixing her poppy pin on her clothes alone. She took a unusual long time, and I first thought that maybe I should be a gentleman and help her out... But if I did I would need to fix her poppy on her chest... maybe score? maybe rude? maybe she will think i a pervert and kill me??? So i dropped my bravery and walked pass her...
Next time we talked (i know im being annoying with the random convs with S. but I think these details are important) I was subbing as assistant again. This time, I sat in the front where I couldnt see her. I don’t know why she sat in front… I don’t think she has bad eyesight… The teacher told me to go to everyone in the class and recording their assignment marks. So I went around the room trying to NOT look suspicious... I got to her table last but she kept her back to me. I ask for her assignment and she said she didnt do it. I was like okay... Class ended and after I left the class room, I saw her on the hallway near the classroom exit with her notebook doing nothing with no 1 near. So I got my stuff together and went to her "Hey, you should really hand in ur homework u know. Mr ........ told me that ull get full marks if u hand it in tomorrow." "...okay..." "So ur good? "... yes..." and I left; S. smiled but less than the first time. I felt horrible after this since i talked to my friend about this and he said that Koreans are really stressed about school and they have the highest teen suicide rate... and that I must sounded like her parents talking to her. Yeah.... Good Job Idiot... FML
The hallway stares continued a bit... One time, I saw her on the hallway and felt bad about the whole asking-about-her-study-sounding-like-her-pressuring-parents things and looked at my right shoulder when she passed on my left. She turned suddenly and went into the library for no reason that I know (pretty sure she had class). And I just walked pass... Thinking about it later, maybe she wanted me to follow her and talk to her...? IDK...
I think this happend after another 2 days or was it on the same day with the library thing? iDK but after an English class. I exited busying with my friends. and when we came back to the English class room. I saw her lying on the hallway floor with a piece of paper in her hand and her back on the lockers. I think we stared at each other at a far distance... not sure. But when I got close. She was just looking down on the floor. Of course I care about her and I wanted to help, but i screwed up busying with my friends and passed in silence.... (Im a shy guy remember...? FML) and just ignored her... I thought of turning back after leaving the school but didnt do it. Later thinking about her sadness and the Korean suicide thing (I had suicide thoughts before so I am worried about this... the thought of S. actually saved me once from almost killing myself... or twice…?) I added her on facebook. She accepted but never replied to my messages. She went on FB like every week but never posted much or replied me.... My heart broke a little more.
So its almost the winter break now. I noticed that now whenever I look at her on the hall, she stops looking at me... idk... im weird... I thought that I should maintain contact with her during the break... so I manned up. 2nd last day of school, I got my stuff together and first talked to her after lunch. "Hey" "...hello...?" "Are you doing alright in school?" "yes..." "Good to know, haha, if you need help, I am still willing to help you (pounding on my chest with my hand)" "... okay..." End of talk... Later that day, after school I saw her with her friends hanging about. I kinda stalked her a bit and saw her at her locker with her friends... Shes busying herself alone. I went to her with all my courage "Hey" "hey…" "I was thinking of forming a study group for… ur taking calculus and chem. Right?” “yah….” “so… r u interested…” “I usually study alone at home…” “but I do that too actually, but I saw my marks and this doesn’t help that much… I think the study group is better” “okay…” “okay then… If ur interested, ill need ur phone number…” (hands over my phone and enters her number while her friend said something in Korean and I was awkward and rude with her friends in silence…) “okay, thx, ill go now” And I left. I think S. smiled while we talked… So I got her number and everything was good…. Until I texted her twice that day and never got a reply. I called once and got into voice mail and never got a reply… sign
So… this is what happened so far. I greatly appreciate if you had read this entire thing. Thank you thank you thank you. And please leave any advice, analysis, or anything. I don’t know whether to call her again or leave her alone for the 2 weeks break…. Its killing me and I keep thinking of her everyday. I don’t know what to do… HELP!
Edit:
After the winter break, I started to ignore her for 2 weeks but in the end just couldn’t take it. Once, I was late to school, I walked passed two Korean boys on the hall and saw her… She went: “Hmmm….”in a very cute and desperate voice…? Quite audible… Was it to me or to the Korean boys behind me? The same sound was made a second time when I walked pass her on the crowded hallway another time between classes… Did I failed her??? Was she disappointed in me??? My fault??? For a few times this year… I saw her walking unusually slow alone around me… sometimes she would glance at me…. Some times she would turn away… desperate for attention?
I thought out a clever way to ask her to be my girlfriend: asking her advice for myself chasing after a girl (who in reality is just her) and hinting her that I am interested. I thought everything was well since she always smiled while we talk, the glances, her waiting for me, her sister’s glance from time to time and was like cough cough…, and the way she dressed (I dressed in dark coloured clothes with light-coloured shoes… very unusual… I noticed that many girls in my school who dress in the same way glance at me too… but I don’t care about them more than I care about a stranger… lol, a male’s giant ego… or is this truth…? She used to dress in light colours but apparently changed to dark clothes and light-colored shoes… IDK IDK IDK, maybe its because some of her friends are kinda into me (I think…????) and dresses like me in this way. And this started a trend??? WTF??? I am CrAzY….). After the “confession” we waved on the hallway once, I wiped her desk on chemistry class even though it was not necessary and we both smiled, but I also saw her hanging out with some boys. After I asked her for advice, she ignored me for a few days but then I texted and she replied. She went off topic and replied once about every two time I texted something. It went exactly like this:
2011-12-15 3:21 PM
Hey. This is K***.
2011-12-15 4:13 PM
S***, u did well on the chemistry test?
2012-01-31 9:14 PM
S***, About the advice… The girl said she was going to text me later today… She had not since we talked… What do you think this means? Please help!
^uh sorry whats up?
2012-01-31 10:42 PM
Nothing really besides just thinking about what I should do… How about you?
^wat r u thinking
Someone lovely and beautiful and who I feel I can connect and be happy with… I think.
2012-01-31 11:12 PM
Connect as in understand and relate and love, not like… (sex, lol) I said something wrong?
^Who is it ?? lol
I’ll tell you sometime.
2012-02-02 4:19 PM
Hey. Have you thought about what I should do about the girl I like? I don’t know what to do…
2012-02-02 4:42 PM
^Who is it lol
I want to tell you in person…
2012-02-02 5:27 PM
Is something wrong? Sorry…
2012-02-03 7:08 PM
Hey. How are you doing?
^Good u??
Meh.
I will like to have lunch with you tomorrow… What do you think?
It’s okay if you don’t come. Just tell me what you think…
2012-02-03 7:36 PM (notice delay??? Lol, lover’s biased)
^Sry im going out with my bf tmr?
2012-02-03 7:47 PM
Yes. Of course. My lady.
^Umm I think u misunderstood.
I think so too… O_o Lol nvm then, its been nice cheating with you. I’ll plan something else.
^What do u mean
2012-02-03 8:02 PM
I misunderstood.. I’ll get lunch by myself tomorrow since you are not free.
Hey. Don’t be bothered by me. Have fun tomorrow.
(btw, as soon as I asked her for lunch together, all info about her on facebook disappeared. I think she blocked me.)
I feel horrible right now… On her facebook, she keeps going to this study place for the recent weeks where I went a month earlier… She stays there almost every day late at night… Is this like the library thing where she wants me to follow her??? Am I crazy??? Is this pay back cuz I asked for advice apparently for some other girl and she got mad??? Now thinking about it, one of the boys who I saw she was with gave me this look, like “wtf?” look earlier and seemed very close to S. The guy is 1 grade lower, so I didn’t paid much attention to him… I think he’s her boyfriend… But it says S. is single on her facebook and the boy who I think is her BF is listed as a brother a month ago while one of the girls from our grade (A friend of S***’s) is listed as a daughter-in-law… So… idk, maybe she does have a new boyfriend… Or she doesn’t, she is not completely into me? Maybe this is a test… A test for my love? Maybe she is making a decision??? She only wants a Korean BF??? Lol… I can’t think… This story can’t end like this…
Do I love to be in love more than I love her??? Love? Like? Do I really want all this answered??? I’m crying…
Wow, you actually finished the whole thing? Amazing! Please leave any thoughts, advice, questions, or support...
So, I am having some problems with this girl whom I like; ill call her S. from now on. Ill explain everything that happened between as objective as I can.
Edit: It seems that my original post is too long.... In a nut shell, S., who I met 2 and a half years ago shows quite a few signs of interest (I think). She is apparently quite shy and quite a few boys are after her... She is Korean while I am Chinese... (Azn know what this means.) However, after getting to know her better, she became more and more withdrawal in the barely-a-friendship relationship and told me in a text message that she has a BF and I should leave her alone... However, the odd thing is her Facebook says she's single and her apparent BF is listed as a brother with a lot of stuff on his page about love and posts about S. I dont know what to do...
S. came to my highschool a bit over two years ago. We were in Grade 10 when we first met in class. We had one class together and she sat face to face with 5 meters between us (i know the setup is weird but that was how it was). During this class, I occasionally noticed a few stares from her (i think) but didnt think much of it. I often get looks like that from girls and just thought that she was cute. She is always shy and doesnt talk much and apparently only hangs around her Korean friends. (Im Chinese; I hope this doesnt make the situation worse... The Chinese group and Korean group are kinda distant in my school...) We worked together for only once and she was really shy. In front of girls, I always have this confident, I-think-is attractive persona while I am almost as shy as S. is.
During that summer, we ended up in the same summer school class. Since the summer school class was really small, I noticed her stares and body language a bit more. We worked together some more but she never talked much. I odd thing I noticed is that she wears really tall-heeled shoes…? (whatever they are called…) She’s relatively short and I’m relatively tall…. Lol, a lover’s bias.
A year passed (grade 11) without anything happening pretty much. I cant think of anything except seeing her in a biology exam where i sat in the first roll.
This year so far, a lot of things happened between us. Year started and we originally had 3 classes together. During the previous years I worked very hard in school so didnt think of this GFBF thing much. But since I finished the majority of my grade 12 courses, Im quite free now and thought about getting a girlfriend that will last (I know I sound naive at times but thats what I wish for… I want a beautiful relationship that will last in highschool… lol). So S. was on my radar and that was that for like 2 weeks. I fell in love with her about a month into school when we were on the hallway and stared at each other for about 5 seconds... She looked beautiful in the bright sunlight… So i fell in love with her and basically forgot about every other girl on my "radar".. Sad thing was that she transferred out of all three classes that we had together and it sucked for me... We kept having these stares but never spoke. She and her friends always come to eat at this room where I eat lunch… And I had gotten quite a few “extreme” (she turning her head for 100 degrees…) stares… Lol… I think there was also once when she tried to seduce me? Lol? I sound pathetic… I asked around and tried to find a way to share a class with S.. I found out that a lazy friend of mine wants me to substitute him for a teacher assistant block where S. is part of the class. So I took the opportunity even though I look very suspicious.
I kept looking for opportunities and one day I was chasing after this guy friend who I needed to talk to and saw her at one of the front doors staring outside and a bit at me (??? A lover is biased???) waiting for her parents to pick her up. I lost my friend and said hi to her. "Hey, it's S... right? we had summer school together a while back, rememeber?" "... yes...?" "Im .... remember me?" "... yes..?" "Are you waiting for your pickup or something?" ".. yes...?" "Cool, haha. What I am doing here..? Haha, see you around then" And I just turned away and walked.. Throughout our first "real" conversation, she smiled a lot even though she normally smiles little (i think). i smiled a bit and felt that it was difficult to continue the conv since she doesnt talk. I am always nervous when talking to her… So thats that.
Second time we talked, it was after the class where I was substituting for my friend as teacher assistant... I sat behind her on the last roll on my own (awkward~~~) and I knew she didnt hand it her homework and she laid on the desk for a bit looking a bit sick. After class, I first went "Hey, are you okay?" "... yes.." "okay" and i turned away looking at some random poster on the wall. and looked to my left and I saw her turning her head to her left and looking at me while I look at her... It was awkward but sweat... So i went "Hey, if you need any help with school, Im willing to help." "... okay..." and I left the room. She smiled at first for a moment but no more, I think she was in pain…
A little thing happened a while later... It was Remembrance Day (im Canadian) and we had to wear these poppy flower pin things. Before English class I was wondering around on the hall and saw S. and her friend going into the girls washroom (weird school loadout, I WASNT STALKING!!!) and I passed and went on. When I came back, I saw her looking at the direction where I was when I saw her entering the washroom while fixing her poppy pin on her clothes alone. She took a unusual long time, and I first thought that maybe I should be a gentleman and help her out... But if I did I would need to fix her poppy on her chest... maybe score? maybe rude? maybe she will think i a pervert and kill me??? So i dropped my bravery and walked pass her...
Next time we talked (i know im being annoying with the random convs with S. but I think these details are important) I was subbing as assistant again. This time, I sat in the front where I couldnt see her. I don’t know why she sat in front… I don’t think she has bad eyesight… The teacher told me to go to everyone in the class and recording their assignment marks. So I went around the room trying to NOT look suspicious... I got to her table last but she kept her back to me. I ask for her assignment and she said she didnt do it. I was like okay... Class ended and after I left the class room, I saw her on the hallway near the classroom exit with her notebook doing nothing with no 1 near. So I got my stuff together and went to her "Hey, you should really hand in ur homework u know. Mr ........ told me that ull get full marks if u hand it in tomorrow." "...okay..." "So ur good? "... yes..." and I left; S. smiled but less than the first time. I felt horrible after this since i talked to my friend about this and he said that Koreans are really stressed about school and they have the highest teen suicide rate... and that I must sounded like her parents talking to her. Yeah.... Good Job Idiot... FML
The hallway stares continued a bit... One time, I saw her on the hallway and felt bad about the whole asking-about-her-study-sounding-like-her-pressuring-parents things and looked at my right shoulder when she passed on my left. She turned suddenly and went into the library for no reason that I know (pretty sure she had class). And I just walked pass... Thinking about it later, maybe she wanted me to follow her and talk to her...? IDK...
I think this happend after another 2 days or was it on the same day with the library thing? iDK but after an English class. I exited busying with my friends. and when we came back to the English class room. I saw her lying on the hallway floor with a piece of paper in her hand and her back on the lockers. I think we stared at each other at a far distance... not sure. But when I got close. She was just looking down on the floor. Of course I care about her and I wanted to help, but i screwed up busying with my friends and passed in silence.... (Im a shy guy remember...? FML) and just ignored her... I thought of turning back after leaving the school but didnt do it. Later thinking about her sadness and the Korean suicide thing (I had suicide thoughts before so I am worried about this... the thought of S. actually saved me once from almost killing myself... or twice…?) I added her on facebook. She accepted but never replied to my messages. She went on FB like every week but never posted much or replied me.... My heart broke a little more.
So its almost the winter break now. I noticed that now whenever I look at her on the hall, she stops looking at me... idk... im weird... I thought that I should maintain contact with her during the break... so I manned up. 2nd last day of school, I got my stuff together and first talked to her after lunch. "Hey" "...hello...?" "Are you doing alright in school?" "yes..." "Good to know, haha, if you need help, I am still willing to help you (pounding on my chest with my hand)" "... okay..." End of talk... Later that day, after school I saw her with her friends hanging about. I kinda stalked her a bit and saw her at her locker with her friends... Shes busying herself alone. I went to her with all my courage "Hey" "hey…" "I was thinking of forming a study group for… ur taking calculus and chem. Right?” “yah….” “so… r u interested…” “I usually study alone at home…” “but I do that too actually, but I saw my marks and this doesn’t help that much… I think the study group is better” “okay…” “okay then… If ur interested, ill need ur phone number…” (hands over my phone and enters her number while her friend said something in Korean and I was awkward and rude with her friends in silence…) “okay, thx, ill go now” And I left. I think S. smiled while we talked… So I got her number and everything was good…. Until I texted her twice that day and never got a reply. I called once and got into voice mail and never got a reply… sign
So… this is what happened so far. I greatly appreciate if you had read this entire thing. Thank you thank you thank you. And please leave any advice, analysis, or anything. I don’t know whether to call her again or leave her alone for the 2 weeks break…. Its killing me and I keep thinking of her everyday. I don’t know what to do… HELP!
Edit:
After the winter break, I started to ignore her for 2 weeks but in the end just couldn’t take it. Once, I was late to school, I walked passed two Korean boys on the hall and saw her… She went: “Hmmm….”in a very cute and desperate voice…? Quite audible… Was it to me or to the Korean boys behind me? The same sound was made a second time when I walked pass her on the crowded hallway another time between classes… Did I failed her??? Was she disappointed in me??? My fault??? For a few times this year… I saw her walking unusually slow alone around me… sometimes she would glance at me…. Some times she would turn away… desperate for attention?
I thought out a clever way to ask her to be my girlfriend: asking her advice for myself chasing after a girl (who in reality is just her) and hinting her that I am interested. I thought everything was well since she always smiled while we talk, the glances, her waiting for me, her sister’s glance from time to time and was like cough cough…, and the way she dressed (I dressed in dark coloured clothes with light-coloured shoes… very unusual… I noticed that many girls in my school who dress in the same way glance at me too… but I don’t care about them more than I care about a stranger… lol, a male’s giant ego… or is this truth…? She used to dress in light colours but apparently changed to dark clothes and light-colored shoes… IDK IDK IDK, maybe its because some of her friends are kinda into me (I think…????) and dresses like me in this way. And this started a trend??? WTF??? I am CrAzY….). After the “confession” we waved on the hallway once, I wiped her desk on chemistry class even though it was not necessary and we both smiled, but I also saw her hanging out with some boys. After I asked her for advice, she ignored me for a few days but then I texted and she replied. She went off topic and replied once about every two time I texted something. It went exactly like this:
2011-12-15 3:21 PM
Hey. This is K***.
2011-12-15 4:13 PM
S***, u did well on the chemistry test?
2012-01-31 9:14 PM
S***, About the advice… The girl said she was going to text me later today… She had not since we talked… What do you think this means? Please help!
^uh sorry whats up?
2012-01-31 10:42 PM
Nothing really besides just thinking about what I should do… How about you?
^wat r u thinking
Someone lovely and beautiful and who I feel I can connect and be happy with… I think.
2012-01-31 11:12 PM
Connect as in understand and relate and love, not like… (sex, lol) I said something wrong?
^Who is it ?? lol
I’ll tell you sometime.
2012-02-02 4:19 PM
Hey. Have you thought about what I should do about the girl I like? I don’t know what to do…
2012-02-02 4:42 PM
^Who is it lol
I want to tell you in person…
2012-02-02 5:27 PM
Is something wrong? Sorry…
2012-02-03 7:08 PM
Hey. How are you doing?
^Good u??
Meh.
I will like to have lunch with you tomorrow… What do you think?
It’s okay if you don’t come. Just tell me what you think…
2012-02-03 7:36 PM (notice delay??? Lol, lover’s biased)
^Sry im going out with my bf tmr?
2012-02-03 7:47 PM
Yes. Of course. My lady.
^Umm I think u misunderstood.
I think so too… O_o Lol nvm then, its been nice cheating with you. I’ll plan something else.
^What do u mean
2012-02-03 8:02 PM
I misunderstood.. I’ll get lunch by myself tomorrow since you are not free.
Hey. Don’t be bothered by me. Have fun tomorrow.
(btw, as soon as I asked her for lunch together, all info about her on facebook disappeared. I think she blocked me.)
I feel horrible right now… On her facebook, she keeps going to this study place for the recent weeks where I went a month earlier… She stays there almost every day late at night… Is this like the library thing where she wants me to follow her??? Am I crazy??? Is this pay back cuz I asked for advice apparently for some other girl and she got mad??? Now thinking about it, one of the boys who I saw she was with gave me this look, like “wtf?” look earlier and seemed very close to S. The guy is 1 grade lower, so I didn’t paid much attention to him… I think he’s her boyfriend… But it says S. is single on her facebook and the boy who I think is her BF is listed as a brother a month ago while one of the girls from our grade (A friend of S***’s) is listed as a daughter-in-law… So… idk, maybe she does have a new boyfriend… Or she doesn’t, she is not completely into me? Maybe this is a test… A test for my love? Maybe she is making a decision??? She only wants a Korean BF??? Lol… I can’t think… This story can’t end like this…
Do I love to be in love more than I love her??? Love? Like? Do I really want all this answered??? I’m crying…
Wow, you actually finished the whole thing? Amazing! Please leave any thoughts, advice, questions, or support...
New member... Want to get my problems solved... Want to solve other's problems... (insert something poetic here)
