Problems.....Need Advice Fast!!!

    • Problems.....Need Advice Fast!!!

      Ok, so i am 16 and i never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl or anything like that. Recently, i noticed that certain girl likes me and i like her. The problem is, i have low self esteem and i think i am ugly and i hate my body(which is apparently normal-looking) so this came as a big surprise to me. My life tumbled over the past year. I moved to here(Ohio) from Europe in June. School started and i had a crush on other girl who apparently did not like me and i did my best to change my appearance, so i lost a lot of weight and i fixed everything i thought was faulty as much as i could. I got over that crush somehow and month later i met the other girl, the one that i like now. I am certain that she really has a huge crush on me, but she expects me to first move since she is way more experienced in those things(i mean dating and having partner in general) so i had to get over my fears. I told her i like her, so there would be no confusion since i acted like idiot due to my inexperience. I have kind of tough time starting a conversation with her and finding matter to discuss. I usually start conversation with "How was your day" :nono:and similar sentences, and i know that that is wrong but, again, i lack experience in those things. We seem to differ a lot, but we like each other:blush:. I flirt with her but that's just about it. I also lack social skill in general, i mean i do not have any real friends but people seem to like me and everyone enjoys talking with me, which is opposite to her who has many friends and is very social indeed. I think that it is mostly problem in my way of thinking, but i am focusing on getting the thing i want the most in my life now-HER. I know this seems complicated, but i primarily need advice on starting conversation and maintaining it. If you can, help me please, any advice is welcome!
      Cheers!:D
      Vlad

    • Re: Problems.....Need Advice Fast!!!

      There's nothing wrong with opening a conversation with "How was your day" :). It's personal, yet not too personal and it lets her go into as much depth as she feels like.

      If you've told her that you like her and she hasn't run away, what are you waiting for? Ask her if she wants a coffee/lunch or something. Avoid movies - they might seem like an easy escape from talking, but you aren't really communicating at all.

      Holding a conversation - make a really big effort to hold a quality conversation with anyone you can. Listen to what they say, offer some of your own views (as long as they aren't too controversial) and listen for ques to change topic. If people enjoy talking to you then you have nothing to worry about. If talking to "her", gently tease and compliment her in moderation. Good luck!

    • Re: Problems.....Need Advice Fast!!!

      I totally understand you about those conversation. I used to be in the same boat. Till I simply told her what was on my mind. Reason your having a hard time holding a conversation with her is because your trying to hard to censor your words. If see liked your for physical reasons then wow, but show her your interests.

      Your probably usual messages, "Hey how are you?"
      "Im Okay, you?" "I'm great" and you stumble (Only a guessing).

      For me its, "Hey hun how is the sun treating you this fine morning?"
      "It's treating me good, wbu?" "It's still night time where i'm at" and thus a convo begins.

      treat her as if its the last time your going to be together. lifes too short.
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      How far do you want me to suppress myself so that you'll be satisfied?

    • Re: Problems.....Need Advice Fast!!!

      Just talk to her ., there are a million topics to share views on ..... Like about her , you , the day , evening, etc , or about how your life was before you met her , about your native place , her native place , about the new movie running on the halls, and what not ..,.... Just build up the balls to talk to her .... And start new topics

    • Re: Problems.....Need Advice Fast!!!

      Takumi Usui wrote:

      I totally understand you about those conversation. I used to be in the same boat. Till I simply told her what was on my mind. Reason your having a hard time holding a conversation with her is because your trying to hard to censor your words. If see liked your for physical reasons then wow, but show her your interests.

      Your probably usual messages, "Hey how are you?"
      "Im Okay, you?" "I'm great" and you stumble (Only a guessing).

      For me its, "Hey hun how is the sun treating you this fine morning?"
      "It's treating me good, wbu?" "It's still night time where i'm at" and thus a convo begins.

      treat her as if its the last time your going to be together. lifes too short.


      YES. Good advice here. We learn to sensor before we speak to avoid trouble when we were young. But we're not young now and we can handle some trouble. So speak your mind with her. And if you have trouble with that, do this exercise. When your at home just talk to yourself about anything. The goal is to keep a steady flow of sentences coming out. You'll probably feel weird doing this but you need to be able to speak what's on your mind when you need to, like when you want to talk to this girl.

    • Re: Problems.....Need Advice Fast!!!

      Nick* wrote:

      When your at home just talk to yourself about anything. The goal is to keep a steady flow of sentences coming out. You'll probably feel weird doing this but you need to be able to speak what's on your mind when you need to, like when you want to talk to this girl.


      I totally agree on on this exercise I do it every time even if I'm in a relationship. I think you should be comfortable after you both don't care what you say to each and simply have fun.
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      How far do you want me to suppress myself so that you'll be satisfied?