There's this guy I've been liking for quite a while now but I've been quite iffy whether I should tell him. We've been talking a lot since beginning of school year. When he had a cell phone we would txt like all night and we would talk a lot in school but I feel like this is more in a friend term.. His mom found the cell phones distracting so she stopped the contract so when he can get on facebook we would chat or when he gets hold of a cell phone, we'd talk til 2-3 AM. I also hang out with him and his friend like every week since we are all very close. We also have been able to talk a lot about each other's past and how we interact and stuff. He told me about a girl he once liked and how he regretted never telling her. As a friend, I asked why didn't he ever get the guts and if he's going to ask her. He said it'd be better if the two were friends since he was so scared. Then, I told him about a guy I liked a year ago but told him how it wouldn't have worked out if I told him since the guy only saw me as a little sister. He'd acknowledge me in the hallways and if I don't notice him (when I'm in my space out mode) he'd pull my backpack or throw something at me so I would. So overall we are close friends but I wonder if I tell him, our friendship would atrophy.
I've been wanting to tell him but many factors have been telling me I shouldn't.
1. The other friend. Idk if this is true but EVERYONE around me thinks the other friend who I hang out with when the guy I like is here likes me. Some people call him "my bitch" because they apparently think he'd do anything I say. When I said to the guy I like about how I am the least attractive of my siblings and how I think the other friend probably has a picky taste in one conversation, he said well you just contradicted yourself. You say you think you're not pretty but you think this friend has a picky taste in girls. So I was like what? But it seemed like he was hinting me that the other friend likes me.
2. My family. My mom has a STRONG policy against dating and she forced me and my siblings in the past to break up with their companions to the point of transferring schools for few months to make sure we completely break contacts with our gf/bf (that was for my sister's case). If my mom finds out I am afraid she may do the same and I will completely lose her trust in everything. My sister highly disapproves of any of us dating anyone outside of our race (the guy is not the same race) so I feel that she'd do anything to break it up as well.
3. My fear for relationship. Since childhood, I have vowed to never marry. I dated once, and terrible consequences happened (see #2). The ex grew obsessive for the past two years that I heard things from my friends that he checks out my outfits and makes comments about it to my friends, expresses hopes of getting back together, and even kept my contact information (I found out when he accidentally sent me a msg) all behind my back. I was ashamed to have caused someone to be this crazy and I was scared to be another heart breaker. I also am stuck with lot of creepers in my life and one even attempted to cuddle me in my sleep at a sleepover (it was a family friend's son when I had to sleepover at his house when my family got trapped in their house due to a snowstorm). My bad experiences with guys have been great hindrances.
Although I really do like him more than a friend, idk if these factors are something that I can overcome in order to tell him. I do not have the intention of going into a relationship because I feel that the friendship is too precious to lose to my family and my fears but I sometimes feel that I should let it out somewhere. So, do you think it's worth telling someone I like the truth considering the possible costs of friendship, testing my own fear, and facing the wrath of my family?
I've been wanting to tell him but many factors have been telling me I shouldn't.
1. The other friend. Idk if this is true but EVERYONE around me thinks the other friend who I hang out with when the guy I like is here likes me. Some people call him "my bitch" because they apparently think he'd do anything I say. When I said to the guy I like about how I am the least attractive of my siblings and how I think the other friend probably has a picky taste in one conversation, he said well you just contradicted yourself. You say you think you're not pretty but you think this friend has a picky taste in girls. So I was like what? But it seemed like he was hinting me that the other friend likes me.
2. My family. My mom has a STRONG policy against dating and she forced me and my siblings in the past to break up with their companions to the point of transferring schools for few months to make sure we completely break contacts with our gf/bf (that was for my sister's case). If my mom finds out I am afraid she may do the same and I will completely lose her trust in everything. My sister highly disapproves of any of us dating anyone outside of our race (the guy is not the same race) so I feel that she'd do anything to break it up as well.
3. My fear for relationship. Since childhood, I have vowed to never marry. I dated once, and terrible consequences happened (see #2). The ex grew obsessive for the past two years that I heard things from my friends that he checks out my outfits and makes comments about it to my friends, expresses hopes of getting back together, and even kept my contact information (I found out when he accidentally sent me a msg) all behind my back. I was ashamed to have caused someone to be this crazy and I was scared to be another heart breaker. I also am stuck with lot of creepers in my life and one even attempted to cuddle me in my sleep at a sleepover (it was a family friend's son when I had to sleepover at his house when my family got trapped in their house due to a snowstorm). My bad experiences with guys have been great hindrances.
Although I really do like him more than a friend, idk if these factors are something that I can overcome in order to tell him. I do not have the intention of going into a relationship because I feel that the friendship is too precious to lose to my family and my fears but I sometimes feel that I should let it out somewhere. So, do you think it's worth telling someone I like the truth considering the possible costs of friendship, testing my own fear, and facing the wrath of my family?