Hey everyone!
Bit of background about me:
Top A level grades, at a top uni, finance related course
Several extra curriculars, sports, lots of relevant work exp (more then my 'competition') and all in all a well written application. One investment bank said I had one of the strongest applications they received for the investment banking internship this year. Not being a big head - just need to make this clear that I'm a strong applicant.*
My original goal: to go into the investment banking division. All my extra curriculars, work exp etc was focused on investment banking. I even swapped degree (did actuarial science before, swapped to a finance degree). I have experience abroad (New York and London). I have volunteered. I have done everything possible basically that I've reached a limit where if I do more I'll literally be over killing my CV - publishing a book is probably all that's left. Lol
My problem:
This year was the third time I applied to investment banks for an internship. In my first year I applied for spring weeks and was rejected. Yet I saw so many people with much less then me get through. Was pissed but thought its cool I'll try harder. Applied again in year 2. 1 interview with a big bank. Rejected after round 1 over a stupid article issue. I should have known the answer so ill accept that was my fault. Something my friends screwed up to and yet got accepted. No more interviews. Then I though okay buck up on news etc and reapply. Did reapply this year. One interview again. Rejected after round 1. Rejected from all other banks - again. Rejected over a lack of technical knowledge even though I answered the questions correctly and when I challenged that (when I got feedback) they didn't know what to say and nodded. Made up shit like depth etc when I know people who know nothing and get through. Getting pissed because they always find 'something' but it's only with me. With others they just take them... Even though they get half the stuff wrong. :(*
I have taken this year off (return in Sept 2012 and graduate in 2013) to sort out some personal medical problems. They will be over in a couple of months fingers crossed. But then what. I have no internship and no job lined up for when I graduate. Even if I reapply for next summer, there's no guarantee I'll get anything. And even if I do and get a full time offer I won't be able to start until 2014 (they give offers 1 year after). So I have to waste 1 more year.
yes it is a tough job market but it's not so tough that people less qualified (not just academically) are getting through the process... And I have qualified people to back me up on this point.*
I'm not saying I'm the best ever and internships should fly to my feet. I'm saying that everyone I've spoken to (like 100+ people within the industry and careers service) are absolutely horrified that I don't even have interviews. My resume is unbelievable and next level completely and people get jealous. I'm not talking undergrads - even master students would you believe. Yet I'm left no where and they get everything.
I've seen time and time again people with poor grades. No extra curriculars, no work exp etc at least be interviewed and many have got internships. Many email me telling me how amazing their internship is, how much they are learning etc and inside I feel happy for them but also quite broken and 'damaged' because I really feel like I've worked my ass off for ages and am still not getting anywhere with my career. no one tries as hard as I have - just me - I've researched like anything. Emailed people on linked in and stuff. You read their profiles and they do maybe 40% of what's I've done. Yet I'm not even looked at. I also had to withdraw a couple of applications because of health reasons but most still came as rejections without me saying anything.*
All of these rejections (and a few other things) completely messed up my thyroid - it dropped to deadly levels - which I think shows some inner/deep commitment to the role IMO. * Or maybe obsession. Haha Countless nights crying about the unfairness of the process and whats wrong with me/my application that I'm just being rejected. Contacted tonnes and tonnes of people for advice and support but all just are as confused as me. But I seriously think that applying and reapplying and reapplying is just madness. If things arn't working you have to stop and think rather then bang your head against the wall constantly in the same way right?*
Now it can't be my interview skills if I'm getting no interviews. And from whatever interviews I had, they have always commented on how personable, confident blah blah blah i come across so idk whats going wrong. its like I'm black listed or something. After months of thinking... *I really feel like it could be a few things.
1) Maybe they read my application and think its a lie because it's next level? This is not my fault and I shouldn't be ashamed of being outstanding should I? And I always thought people in investment banking were outstanding so I'm just trying my best. If my best is above average then why is that a bad thing?
2) It's a luck/numbers game. I believed this the first time. The second time. But now the third time? I seriously doubt it. I applied to over 50 places. I even knew people at a lot of those firms. Still got nowhere. (btw the people I spoke about above did no networking also/had no contacts)
3) Maybe I just don't fit into IBD regardless of what I try and do and therefore should forget it like an old crush and move on. This is my current plan. For some reason - with this time off and given all that's happened - I realised I don't really 'love IBD' but then who does? But now I'm more confused then ever as to what to do with my life. I was the one 'with a plan' and now I feel like everything in my life is falling apart.
Part of me says you have worked so hard to get there and so leaving it now is a cuss to everything you have done already. And having never interned at a big bank how can I judge? (I've worked at small firms with similar work) Also IBD can be interesting depending on the team you get. Lots of interesting work like financial models. And so on.
Then part of me says I want to be healthy, I don't want to work 19 hours a day, the work wasn't actually THAT great anyway, and I'm someone who can work hard but not for 24 hours a day.*
There's also a whole social side to this. I'm not a complete academic or anything but I do feel a bit odd in the 'bar' situation. I can talk for hours over coffee but in a pub I feel weird. Maybe they think they can't have a beer with me so working with me is like committing suicide? Idk. I really don't know. I have tried fixing this area but I don't drink and I try to make myself comfortable but I just can't. *:s so idk what to do.*
I have considered a career in trading. It's more quantitative, I'm more of a maths person then accounting/finance person (regardless of the fact that I swapped degree - I actually hated accounting etc). Also it's 12 hours max and then I can hit the gym etc. Trouble again is will I like this job? Idk. How am I supposed to know if no one even picks up my CV and wants to help?
I have looked a tonnes of other careers... Nothing else appeals. I think the investment banking environment is best because of the fast pace, high pressure etc in general - I like that. It's just about finding my fit. But idk how. I don't even think I know myself at times. :(*
So confused and very very lost. Hope someone can help me out a bit.
and feel free to ask any questions.*
Bit of background about me:
Top A level grades, at a top uni, finance related course
Several extra curriculars, sports, lots of relevant work exp (more then my 'competition') and all in all a well written application. One investment bank said I had one of the strongest applications they received for the investment banking internship this year. Not being a big head - just need to make this clear that I'm a strong applicant.*
My original goal: to go into the investment banking division. All my extra curriculars, work exp etc was focused on investment banking. I even swapped degree (did actuarial science before, swapped to a finance degree). I have experience abroad (New York and London). I have volunteered. I have done everything possible basically that I've reached a limit where if I do more I'll literally be over killing my CV - publishing a book is probably all that's left. Lol
My problem:
This year was the third time I applied to investment banks for an internship. In my first year I applied for spring weeks and was rejected. Yet I saw so many people with much less then me get through. Was pissed but thought its cool I'll try harder. Applied again in year 2. 1 interview with a big bank. Rejected after round 1 over a stupid article issue. I should have known the answer so ill accept that was my fault. Something my friends screwed up to and yet got accepted. No more interviews. Then I though okay buck up on news etc and reapply. Did reapply this year. One interview again. Rejected after round 1. Rejected from all other banks - again. Rejected over a lack of technical knowledge even though I answered the questions correctly and when I challenged that (when I got feedback) they didn't know what to say and nodded. Made up shit like depth etc when I know people who know nothing and get through. Getting pissed because they always find 'something' but it's only with me. With others they just take them... Even though they get half the stuff wrong. :(*
I have taken this year off (return in Sept 2012 and graduate in 2013) to sort out some personal medical problems. They will be over in a couple of months fingers crossed. But then what. I have no internship and no job lined up for when I graduate. Even if I reapply for next summer, there's no guarantee I'll get anything. And even if I do and get a full time offer I won't be able to start until 2014 (they give offers 1 year after). So I have to waste 1 more year.
yes it is a tough job market but it's not so tough that people less qualified (not just academically) are getting through the process... And I have qualified people to back me up on this point.*I'm not saying I'm the best ever and internships should fly to my feet. I'm saying that everyone I've spoken to (like 100+ people within the industry and careers service) are absolutely horrified that I don't even have interviews. My resume is unbelievable and next level completely and people get jealous. I'm not talking undergrads - even master students would you believe. Yet I'm left no where and they get everything.
I've seen time and time again people with poor grades. No extra curriculars, no work exp etc at least be interviewed and many have got internships. Many email me telling me how amazing their internship is, how much they are learning etc and inside I feel happy for them but also quite broken and 'damaged' because I really feel like I've worked my ass off for ages and am still not getting anywhere with my career.
no one tries as hard as I have - just me - I've researched like anything. Emailed people on linked in and stuff. You read their profiles and they do maybe 40% of what's I've done. Yet I'm not even looked at. I also had to withdraw a couple of applications because of health reasons but most still came as rejections without me saying anything.*All of these rejections (and a few other things) completely messed up my thyroid - it dropped to deadly levels - which I think shows some inner/deep commitment to the role IMO. * Or maybe obsession. Haha Countless nights crying about the unfairness of the process and whats wrong with me/my application that I'm just being rejected. Contacted tonnes and tonnes of people for advice and support but all just are as confused as me. But I seriously think that applying and reapplying and reapplying is just madness. If things arn't working you have to stop and think rather then bang your head against the wall constantly in the same way right?*
Now it can't be my interview skills if I'm getting no interviews. And from whatever interviews I had, they have always commented on how personable, confident blah blah blah i come across so idk whats going wrong.
its like I'm black listed or something. After months of thinking... *I really feel like it could be a few things.1) Maybe they read my application and think its a lie because it's next level? This is not my fault and I shouldn't be ashamed of being outstanding should I? And I always thought people in investment banking were outstanding so I'm just trying my best. If my best is above average then why is that a bad thing?
2) It's a luck/numbers game. I believed this the first time. The second time. But now the third time? I seriously doubt it. I applied to over 50 places. I even knew people at a lot of those firms. Still got nowhere. (btw the people I spoke about above did no networking also/had no contacts)
3) Maybe I just don't fit into IBD regardless of what I try and do and therefore should forget it like an old crush and move on. This is my current plan. For some reason - with this time off and given all that's happened - I realised I don't really 'love IBD' but then who does? But now I'm more confused then ever as to what to do with my life.
I was the one 'with a plan' and now I feel like everything in my life is falling apart. Part of me says you have worked so hard to get there and so leaving it now is a cuss to everything you have done already. And having never interned at a big bank how can I judge? (I've worked at small firms with similar work) Also IBD can be interesting depending on the team you get. Lots of interesting work like financial models. And so on.
Then part of me says I want to be healthy, I don't want to work 19 hours a day, the work wasn't actually THAT great anyway, and I'm someone who can work hard but not for 24 hours a day.*
There's also a whole social side to this. I'm not a complete academic or anything but I do feel a bit odd in the 'bar' situation. I can talk for hours over coffee but in a pub I feel weird. Maybe they think they can't have a beer with me so working with me is like committing suicide? Idk. I really don't know. I have tried fixing this area but I don't drink and I try to make myself comfortable but I just can't. *:s so idk what to do.*
I have considered a career in trading. It's more quantitative, I'm more of a maths person then accounting/finance person (regardless of the fact that I swapped degree - I actually hated accounting etc). Also it's 12 hours max and then I can hit the gym etc. Trouble again is will I like this job? Idk. How am I supposed to know if no one even picks up my CV and wants to help?
I have looked a tonnes of other careers... Nothing else appeals. I think the investment banking environment is best because of the fast pace, high pressure etc in general - I like that. It's just about finding my fit. But idk how. I don't even think I know myself at times. :(*
So confused and very very lost. Hope someone can help me out a bit.
and feel free to ask any questions.* 