When I entered college, i had a tendency to date older men. Eventually, I ran into one that was sweet and charming but as time went on things started to change. He wouldn't let me do the things I liked to do... he would criticize me all the time... he would criticize my family and my friends.... he would throw a fit if I talked to certain people... and then when I tried to pin it on him, he always turned it around to make it my fault.

Here are some clues to make sure you're partner isn't the same kind of control freak:

1. Your partner is domineering and expects to have things his/her way
2. You partner has a very strong sense of self and knows exactly what he/she wants in most situations
3. Your partner becomes irritated or angry when you disagree or attend to you own needs
4. Your partner does not respect your opinions, needs, or rights.
5. Your partner pouts or pulls away form you when you do things your way
6. Your partner is easily hurt or upset, so you feel you have to take care of him/her
7. You have to watch what you do or say carefully because your partner drinks a lot or has a bad temper
8. Your partner is not very competent or together, so you end up having to do a lot of the work
9. Your partner is irresponsible or unreliable, so you have to be overly responsible and reliable
10. You let your partner make most of the choices because most of the time you do not feel strongly one way or the other
11. Your partner makes you feel guilty or accuses you of being selfish youwhen you ask to do something your way
12. Your partner becomes sad, worried, or depressed easily, so you end up doing most of the listening
13. Your partner ris very needy and dependent on you

Have you ever or anyone you've known ever been in this kind of relationship? How did it work out for you?

Soy,

Im sorry to hear about the boyfriend. I also read your other post.

These kinds of relationships are hard. It would be easier if they were complete assholes 100% of the time. Yet, there are always those special moments where they're the sweetest being on Earth. They show such kindness and thoughtfulness that it makes you wanna hope for them all over again. Especially if you believe there is good in everybody. You want to try to love their good and love them through the bad parts.

I think the hardest lesson i've learned is I cant change anybody that doesn't want to be changed no matter how hard I love them. Even harder still, is knowing when to walk away...