Dad Drinks Too Much ....

    • Dad Drinks Too Much ....

      My dad has always had a thing for alcohol. I would say he drinks most nights, and on weekends he always gets drunk. He acts really weird when he's drunk, or even just tipsy.

      The thing that bugs me most is he gets really judgmental. He treats me like a whore. I have a boyfriend and we lay on the couch together, sometimes make out but I don't think this makes me a slut... It really hurts me. I've never told anybody except my boyfriend, because theres no way to hide it from him.

      He gets unpredictable and he scares me. I think thats why my boyfriend doesn't like to come over much, so I often go to his house. Which kind of makes me dad think worse about us.

      It feels like an endless cycle. Hes never happy with me, I get straight A's, best student in my grade, I have a job and keep my room clean.... My mom gets really sad sometimes too, and I'm scared I'll turn out like them.. my mom can't help it, but it makes it really hard. I don't know what to do, I just try to hide in my room when he drinks a lot...

      Help :(

    • Re: Dad Drinks Too Much ....

      Gosh, thats a hard one, im sorry for your circumstances.

      My father and my step-father are alcoholics as well. My dad is more of a neglectful alcoholic, sounds like yours is more of a verbally abusive alcoholic.

      Because there's nothing much you can do.. the best thing is to believe the truth about yourself

      1. Making out doesn't make you a slut or a whore. Those are terrible words. Sluts and whores are women who use their sexuality as a weapon of power to hurt or take advantage of other people with complete disregard for their fellow man... in my opinion. You sound tender and sweet and loving. There is nothing wrong with you in that category.

      2. If your father cant find anything right about you, learn to accept that its his alcoholism talking. Its not true in the slightest. Alcoholics are impossible to please. Abusive people are impossible to please. You are wonderful and on track. Im sorry you have to deal with an issue well beyond your years.

      Personally, I would consider seeking help from a counselor. Is there another family member you can move in with? Would a family of a close friend give you a home? I remember my family was prepared to take care of one of my friends in school because her dad was being irresponsible with her...

      At some point you may want to familiarize yourself with emancipation... the ability for minors to free themselves from the responsibility of their parents. Not a decision to take lightly and you need to talk to an adult about it first.

      In the meantime, I would try to stay away from the drama as much as possible. Go to a library for your studying, take on extra hours at work... and prepare for the ability to leave your parents' home when you turn 18 (try to save upwards of $2000 dollars if you can over the next four years) to get started.

      If at any point he hits you or your mom, call the police right away - or anytime you feel in danger

      Hang in there. You are a wonderful daughter/student/young lady. I wish I could be more helpful...
      "Nothing ruins the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love" - Charlie Brown

    • Re: Dad Drinks Too Much ....

      The thing is, he tries really hard to keep our family together, but I can tell its a strain on him and my mother sometimes. They try to do everything the best for us, and I appreciate it. Deep down I know he loves me, and some of the stuff he says out of concern...

      He hasn't called me a slut or whore, hes said "If you do so and so you'll look like a tramp" and so on. He's called me a bitch a few times when we fight, and its hurtful... Maybe I should take the blame for some of it, I get really frustrated and argue back.

      It just feels like my whole family has problems. My dad drinks- not heavily but it bothers me very much sometimes, my mother has anxiety problems, and my relatives and grandparents have some problems too. I love them so much, but its tough. :(