whats his deal?

    • whats his deal?

      Alright, im 16 and i like this guy. I've known him since 4th grade, and ive been buddy with ever since. we didnt become best friends until 2nd semester of sophomore year. I had a couple classes with him, and he was really flirty with me, but also liked another girl, sarah. this guy (lets call him Wyatt) liked me as well at this time, which i found out last summer, but i had a boyfriend. i really liked wyatt and i felt uncomfortable with my boyfriend and wanted to end things, but didnt know how. thankfully after school got out he broke up with me and i could fall into wyatts arms.... if it was that easy. we hung out a couple times, i took him out for his birthday, he took me to a couple movies with his mom and little brother (who i love to death), and had a grand old time. one day i decided i would admitt my feelings for him, that i really liked him, and he told me he really liked me too. and thats it. we never went out. we never did anything. he never asked me to be his girlfriend. nothing. when i eventually asked him what was going on, he told me he wasnt ready for a relationship and wanted to wait until school started again.

      so i waited. and waited. and waited. then school started. and i waited. and waited (you get the picture) and still nothing. we even went to homecoming together. Then he started hanging around this other girl, and i got sorta jealous. he even admitted to liking her to me, and when i got upset he didnt know why i was angry. once he realized that he hurt me he told me he didnt like me like that and that we need to just be friends. i was really upset. all that time wasted. we didnt talk for a while after that, we started hating eachother. but we didnt last like that for long. we started talking again one day a month later and became good as new. he began to be flirty with me again, and i thought that was a sign of me winning him back. i confessed to him that i still had feelings and he got defensive. he told me he didnt understand why i couldnt just let us be just friends, why i kept pushing the subject of a relationship. i told him i was sorry, and we just ignored that the liconversation ever happened.
      '
      we were cool for a couple months, i acted like i didnt like him like that, acted normal when he was acting flirty, didnt talk to him as much, but still kept that friendship. i still liked him on the inside but i couldnt ever admit that. i asked him to the queens winter formal dance (girls ask guys) and he "i guess" which kinda hurt me a little, i felt like he felt that he was forced to go with me. then a week later he called me and asked if we were still going together, because someone else asked him and he really wanted to go with her. that girl was sierra. she had just lost her boyfriend and wanted to go with wyatt as "friends", and he told me if he went with her he could keep her away from all the douche bags.

      i was devistated. i got angry. i called my friend rachel and balled my eyes out to her. she told me she would talk to sierra about it because she probably didnt know wyatt was already going with someone else. sierra then called me and apologized, saying she didnt know and if she did she wouldnt of asked him. wyatt then called me and told me thanks a lot for destroying his chances. i knew he still liked her and thought he had a chance to be with her, and i knew she didnt like him at all and just wanted to play around with him. i couldnt hold back the tears, i cried on the phone with him for a while, he told me he felt really bad and that he would go with me. that didnt help either. i felt it was a pity date now. i honestly liked the kid a lot. i had gone through so much with him, and he threw it all away gradually over the school year.

      we are still friends, he comes over to my house a lot to hang out, hes put his arm around me during a movie, held my hand for a couple seconds until i asked him what he was doing, let me sit on his lap, etc. hes done everything but kiss me basically. he acts like he likes me. people ask me if we are going out all the time because we act really close at school. he treats me really nice when we are alone but ignores me when hes with his friends. i miss what we had. i wish i could take back everything. but i cant. and i cant stop being friends with him because hes all i think about. he comes to me with everthing. i dont know what hes doing to me. i need to know whats going through his head.

      can you guys give me some advice on this? whats going through his head? why is he doing these things? grrrr

      Y U SO CONFUSING? :mad:

      sincerely, ms.heartache.

      P.S. yes i did repost this from the relationship section because it wasnt getting any attention what so ever :(((
    • Re: whats his deal?

      Well look at it from his standpoint. I'm sure he's really confused too. In the Summer you liked him, then you acted like you didn't, then finally couldn't act any longer and cried to him over the phone. He, thinking you just thought of him as a friend, now realizes that you always liked him. As result, he's more sympathetic to you because he finally knows how you ACTUALLY feel. He's then able to show how he actually feels and he does this by putting his arm around you, hanging out with you at your house, etc. He doesn't kiss you because he believes he should only do that if you are actually his girlfriend. He ignores you when he's with friends because of the past you two had (him rejecting you, making you feel jealous, etc.) and so he feels ashamed for doing so and doesn't want to worsen it (his shame) by letting his friends see that he changed his mind about you (which he did after you cried on the phone [which made him realize how you actually felt]).
    • Re: whats his deal?

      Gotta take him at his word. If he wanted to be with you like you want to be with him, he's had about every explicit opportunity and turned it down. He's flat out said he doesnt want it. You can do 2 things then: 1, get over it and continue to enjoy his company as friends, or 2, since you don't seem to be able to do that, just avoid him altogether since it seems to rile you up and let you down. Waiting on someone in life is literally like the worst thing you can do...
      [COLOR="black"]When I'm not fighting mountain lions for sport, I read about broken homes, teenage depression, and other such life-improving awesomeness cause I'm weird like that[/COLOR]
    • Re: whats his deal?

      I've been through the exact same thing. Like to a T. And up until about a month ago i would have told you that he just doesn't like you and that all you can do is just let go. And even though that's still the best advice for now, because every situation's different, there's always a chance. I know that from first had experience. If you look at my recent post, you'll understand why. But anyway, best thing to do is just move on. If you can stay friends with him, do that. If it's too hard, then you need to take a break from being his friend. And you never know, what you thought you wanted may not be what you thought it was once you have it.
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