What does she really want?

    • What does she really want?

      OK, I don't usually need it, but I need advice.
      So my girlfriend (we started about December 2011, it wasn't official) is really great to me in so many ways, and I really love her, so much. She says she loves me just as much. So where's the problem?
      I had this friend (male) since 2 years ago, and we are/were really good friends. I introduced him to her, he liked her too, and he implied that he wanted to date her. She came to me for advice to say no to him.
      He (allegedly) stopped liking her. *fast forward to this wednesday*
      Nearly every day for the past few months, they would stay after school together, just hanging out, and I would usually go home. They would also see each other before school and at events outside of it as well, once in a while.
      So on Weds, she is about to tell me something when, in a really nice, sweet voice, she calls me by his name by accident. Of course I'm upset, and I get upset (not yelling and stuff, just noticably sad/depressed-looking) They both notice, and I say (the next day) that they had been spending a lot of time together, and if I wasn't good enough for her she should leave me already, because I want her to be happy. I don't care about me as much.
      She gets kind of defensive/reassuring to me, saying it was nothing more than a friendship, and she only loved me, not him too. So we would both make an effort to make sure it didn't happen again.
      So yesterday, she was no different at all to him or me, and she starts telling me the (in her opinion) hilarious things he said the previous day, and all about him. Basically, she didn't change at all.:nono:

      So my question(s) is/are;
      Is she telling the whole truth? and if no,
      Should I break up? I really really really don't want to, but I might have no choice.
      Thank you so much.
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    • Re: What does she really want?

      But that's not like leaving me, right. This friend is kind of pushy/arrogant, and I don't want him getting too much in the way. And thanks for reading :D
      [COLOR="Green"]Offer help, and others will offer it to you.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="DarkOrange"]You get what you deserve.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="SeaGreen"]Remember...[/COLOR]:cool:
    • Re: What does she really want?

      Well honestly i think that she might have a thing for this other guy and she just doesnt wanna admit it to either you or herself coz you guys have been dating for a while. why don't you try hanging out with another girl just to make her jealous? if she really loves you then she'll have a problem with it and ask you to stop. then you can make her understand that you feel the same way when she hangs out with your friend
    • Re: What does she really want?

      Thanks. Sounds like an idea I could definitely do. Since then, she and I have become about as close as we were before, and the friend and I had some talks and stuff seems worked out for now between us. I am just not sure how much of the truth they are telling (especially the friend), and that it will happen again soon.
      For instance, she borrowed something (i don't know what) from him, and as a form of payment, he didn't want her to talk to me for an entire day. he said that it was because we spend too much time together, and we need to become more independent, but I think that's just bs.
      Thanks again for any viewers/commenters.
      [COLOR="Green"]Offer help, and others will offer it to you.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="DarkOrange"]You get what you deserve.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="SeaGreen"]Remember...[/COLOR]:cool:
    • Re: What does she really want?

      I really think you should be straight up & tell her you don't want her hanging around this guy anymore. Its causing problems for your relationship. I understand her having guy friends but this seems to be more than friendship. Either stay afterschool one day & see for yourself behind a tree or something what they do or break it off telling her either she stops hanging with this guy so much, listening to him likes hes her boyfriend or your gonna need a break from her. If she doesn't or does something triffling like say ok to the break and starts seeing this other guy then its not meant to be.
    • Re: What does she really want?

      I was about to say that you are being too jealous, but when you posted about the "not talking to you as a form of payment" thing, I definately changed my mind!

      I think this friend is the main culprit.
      You have to cut him out of your life so that she has no choice but to cut him out of her life too.
      Otherwise, you shuould brak it off with her, because after all, what kind of girl will not talk to her boyfriend for a whole day just because a guy told her to do so.
      I dont mean to be rude, but the girl seems a little dumb to let that friend tell her what to do.

      If the same thing happened to me, I would cut off both the girl and the guy because there is zero respect and they both see you as a joke.
    • Re: What does she really want?

      blackcat13 wrote:

      Well honestly i think that she might have a thing for this other guy and she just doesnt wanna admit it to either you or herself coz you guys have been dating for a while. why don't you try hanging out with another girl just to make her jealous? if she really loves you then she'll have a problem with it and ask you to stop. then you can make her understand that you feel the same way when she hangs out with your friend


      ^^I agree with you.
    • Re: What does she really want?

      Thanks for all of your advice. :D
      I may need to tell them to stop, but I pretty much tried that already, not directly. I like the idea of watching them after school, except that she always walks with me to the bus or my mom's car, then goes with him, so she know every time. I want to try everything with this relationship I can before leaving both of them.
      Thanks again for the support and advice, I really appreciate it.
      [COLOR="Green"]Offer help, and others will offer it to you.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="DarkOrange"]You get what you deserve.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="SeaGreen"]Remember...[/COLOR]:cool:
    • Re: What does she really want?

      2 things
      1) I think it's pretty much resolved by now, but thanks for your help
      2) as more proof that I'm not just jealous; the friend talked to each of us individually about breaking up and how much better it feels (he just broke up with his gf, but it was only a few weeks), and bets that we won't be together by next year.
      Thanks again !!! :D :cool:
      [COLOR="Green"]Offer help, and others will offer it to you.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="DarkOrange"]You get what you deserve.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="SeaGreen"]Remember...[/COLOR]:cool: