Just wrote this right now...

    • Just wrote this right now...

      I'm up at 4 in the morning, so I decided to write. Sorry if it doesn't make sense, I just felt like posting it.

      Happiness is a Lie

      Going through the motions of self-control
      Pretending nothing matters, like you have no soul
      The time ticks by and the pressure cracks
      Through to the bones - they sear through attacks

      What's the difference between the young and stupid?
      If it's all the same to you, I'll remain informed and depressed
      Knowing the truth is worth more than happiness, because honesty is real
      Happiness is a lie when you're inside my head

      I love easy and lose hard, but I'm no fool to believe in forever
      Forever comes too quick, like the Knight that never shows when you need him
      I cry for you almost every night, wishing you'd just see the words I write
      You mean everything and nothing - I can't compete

      What's the difference between love and friendship?
      If it's all the same to you, I'll remain alone and distanced.
      Knowing what's real is worth more than the weeks we spend together
      Happiness is a lie when you're inside my head

      It's fine, I'm alright - just a million more lies
      Do you say it for yourself to keep the dream alive?
      It hurts them more, but I'll never speak a word of truth
      Because silence is the secret, the utopia where I live

      What's the difference between freedom and laughter?
      If it's all the same to you, I'll remain trapped and quiet
      Knowing what's out there is worth more because what happens next
      Happiness is a lie when you're inside my head

      All the lies and half-truths that nobody has to know
      I'm just hurting myself, but it's better than me than you
      I laugh at the truth now, the pain minus beauty

      What's the difference between inspiration and happiness?
      If it's all the same to you, I'll remain intrigued by sadness
      Knowing what it feels like is worth more than the alternate numbness
      Happiness is a lie when you're inside my head

      Will everything become all better, like they do on TV?
      Do they wind up in love or become best friends?
      One goes out and the other stays home
      I'm just here, looking at the world

      What's the difference between reality and fantasy?
      If it's all the same to you I'll remain unconscious.
      Knowing is a pain, worth more than the pennies inside my pocket
      Happiness is a lie when you're inside my head
      "Haters can keep hating, but I'm just gonna dance."
      - Patrick Kane; Chicago Blackhawks
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      Pessimistic.

      There was a rhyme scheme that disappeared, so that kind of seemed like you were just too lazy to continue. There was an attempt at continuity that a lot of teen poetry lacks. It's not bad. The theme is overdone, but you can't help what you feel like writing about. I was going to go through and point things out that I liked and disliked and thought were kind of boring or interesting or slightly over the top or amazing or annoying or deep but blehhhh, that's so much effort. It was good, it made me feel a lot of different emotions. The imagery was lacking, but that's pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.

      Keep writing, if you wrote about something other than teen angst you could probably get something fantastic out.
      4.3/10 :thumbsup:
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    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      I was in a bad place and kind of tired when I wrote that. Re-reading, I think it's actually kind of terrible. I had stuff written, but I changed it quite a bit and think that was a big mistake. I might post something else alter, but I don't have my book here.
      "Haters can keep hating, but I'm just gonna dance."
      - Patrick Kane; Chicago Blackhawks
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      Hey, I wrote this after reading your piece, I don't think it's better than yours but you really made a small spark here.

      For the time I now think and see,
      There is nothing worse than reality,
      Why work so hard into the degree
      Of insanity?

      To find honesty, in trade,
      Of fear and in-balance,
      Why live in ignorance and lies?
      When there is happiness of not knowing?

      Of course there is pro and cons.
      For knowing and ignorance,
      The bliss of knowing and the pressure of keeping it once known,
      The bliss of not knowing and the pressure of not being told.

      What A Decision...

      Reality and Fantasy...
      I believe lives separately.
      During the day and night,
      When our soul splits from our body.

      Have you ever felt,
      Like you are dreaming when you are awake?
      Awake when you are asleep?
      For me... plenty of times.

      Words and everything different?
      That's true,
      That's why they are named differently.
      But one cannot be made without the other.

      Being Young is being stupid,
      being stupid is being young,
      friendship that developed from love,
      Love that blooms from friendships.

      Secrets are great to have and keep,
      but a great burden to carry,
      For me, why know so much secrets?
      Why carry so much around?

      Silence may be utopia,
      Try staying in it for a day or two.
      Craving for noise soon will come,
      Of course, it's vise-versa too.
      **************************************************************************
      Great piece. Mine may look unreasonable and confusing... but I can't help trying to write one too. :)
      Lol... I hope it's not to complicated to read. No offence if I insulted someone someway.:D
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      I'm still a little rusty, trying to get back into writing poetry is kind of hard since I've been writing stories instead for about two years.

      However, I was thinking about someone who passed away, and how it's almost been a year now. This kind of got me sparked a little. It's still not perfect, but it should get the view across.


      On that warm August evening, the tears stung in my eyes
      I read the words that I couldn’t believe, and to this day they still sting strong
      The body was yours, you weren’t coming back and for that I hated you
      But it was only for a moment, then I understood there was no hate to be due
      The smiles and laughter, they weren’t always real, and more often than not they were just for appeal
      The slippery slope, how I’ve been there before. The sadness seems like madness, and the pain never stops
      To cure this illness, is to cure the soul – but the darkness is a monster, who can swallow you whole
      The longer you try, the more useless it seems – but I’ll always keep on trying with you in my dreams
      My fighter, my glory – this is far from the ending of your story.
      .
      "Haters can keep hating, but I'm just gonna dance."
      - Patrick Kane; Chicago Blackhawks
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      I stopped taking my pills a while ago, so I'm waiting for them to kick in again :) ... but life's been beyond stressful lately... and it's almost the 1 year anniversary of two really painful things, so I've been thinking down a lot. Also, possibly too much Dostoyevsky.

      I'll try to write something not so depressing for you... eventually.

      (what about a pathetic love sonnet? haha I have one of those)
      "Haters can keep hating, but I'm just gonna dance."
      - Patrick Kane; Chicago Blackhawks

      Post was edited 1 time, last by Blondstrom ().

    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      Sorry TheChristianHippie ... I'm just new here and not very sure about the procedure...

      Blondstrom...I stopped taking my pills a while ago, so I'm waiting for them to kick in again Pills? Sorry if I intrude or touched something sensitive. Just ignore this if you don't want to answer.

      I find that writing depressing poems are more easier to write than happy ones... I would swear that finding something happy to say is not easy.
      Lol... I hope it's not to complicated to read. No offence if I insulted someone someway.:D
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      I take pills for depression and anxiety, but I have issues with continuing them.

      Depressing poems are easy to write because it's raw emotion, same with love. It doesn't have to be logical. Happiness is easier to write in a story because when you're happy it doesn't seem all clustered, I guess...
      "Haters can keep hating, but I'm just gonna dance."
      - Patrick Kane; Chicago Blackhawks
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      true I think...
      what about drawings, music and novels? Which one you think it's easier to touch with depressing parts or happy parts?

      Hmm... have you ever tried manga and anime or some other things that allows us to get addicted to? like this place.... I personally vote for manga as I really like the part when I chase after the stories with or without laggy internet. Aim for the funny and ongoing mangas like SKIP BEAT (it's dang funny, read from the first page *do not skip*) ... it's kinda fun. Chatting with you guys are really fun.

      So practically I'm an addict.
      1)to teenhut
      2)to mangas
      3)food etc... *grin*

      Here's a link for an online reader for skip beat. replace (dot) with .
      www(dot)mangareader(dot)net/117/skip-beat.html
      Lol... I hope it's not to complicated to read. No offence if I insulted someone someway.:D
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      I think it greatly depends on your state of mind. Drawings are easy for both. You can draw a picture of nature or anything you like and it'll be happy, or you can draw a place you hare or a monster in your dreams. Music is basically poetry, so happy can work - but anger is easier. Novels are like art, it depends on what you write... they tend to break even though. Too much of either gets boring.

      I'm not really into manga or anime. Thanks for sharing, though.
      "Haters can keep hating, but I'm just gonna dance."
      - Patrick Kane; Chicago Blackhawks
    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      TinyChatGuyManDude wrote:

      I mean if you really are depressed and sadness is all you can think of, then by no means should you force some other emotion..

      Lol

      If you've ever read any of my shit, you'll see theres always a hint of psychosis.

      :3


      You aren't very subtle about it actually.
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    • Re: Just wrote this right now...

      So, things kind of happened and it got a little worse. So I wrote something else, but again it's not happy.


      Why I'm Afraid of Happy

      I'm afraid of happy because the fall is too deep
      You get picked up, and then swept off your feet
      Nobody really judges each smile they get
      Not until they're left with a pit of regret

      Back in the summer, after I fell pretty hard
      That first sign of fall and that chill morning air
      The smile found it's place, and I sighed with relief
      Only to be struck with a traumatizing grief

      Those forty-four men, plus the one who survived
      That terrible day, why was I still alive?
      So many heroes - fathers, and sons
      And there I was smiling over cold, frosty air

      I'm afraid of happy because karma's a bitch
      Clearly I don't deserve it; I have some kind of glitch
      Nothing is real, no happy will stay
      The good feelings fade, but the pain won't go away

      I'm afraid of happy because things never change.

      (And I was feeling good this morning)
      "Haters can keep hating, but I'm just gonna dance."
      - Patrick Kane; Chicago Blackhawks