Best friend's boyfriend

    • Best friend's boyfriend

      VERY LONG CAUSE IT'S QUITE DETAILED.


      I have two best friends, Rose and Gem (not their real names) and Gem has a pursuer named Nathan and she seems to like him too. She told me that she didn't want a boyfriend until our A levels were over (next year) and every time we ask her if they are together, she avoids the question or if we ask her if she really likes him, she avoids it too or just says "I don't know" but the thing is, she treats Nathan JUST like her boyfriend and there are even some things that go on between those two that she doesn't tell Rose and I (me and Rose??). Truthfully, I don't like all the teenage drama that goes on and I don't like how she keeps the truth from us when it is clear as day that she is crazy about him. (Yes, there is proof. The guy shows Rose their text-message-conversations. She's nuts)

      I didn't like how he was always interrupting our conversations (my conversations with Gem) and just takes her away whenever he feels like it because he KNOWS she will follow her. I can't do anything about it cause it's her choice but if she was cool with it, I didn't really give MUCH thought about it. But overall, he wasn't in my good books.

      A while after all that started, he started talking to me, tried to be friendly to me and he said

      "thought I should just socialize with Gem's friends more"
      I think it was pretty obvious that the only reason he talked to me was because he KNEW that if there was anyone who could sway Gem's opinion of him, it would probably be me and Rose.
      I still didn't think much of him but after he sort of helped me (gave me tips on something I wasn't managing very well), I thought he was okay.




      This month, I found out that he has been going through some tough stuff with his family and I felt quite sorry for him and gave him my support cause Gem said he would feel better if I did. I found out about this like only 3 days ago. When I found out, I didn't feel any resentment at all. Thought he was a pretty cool guy for handling it the way he did.

      Today, Rose was acting quite hostile to him, which I find quite unusual cause she's never like this. Apparently, Gem was talking to Nathan with her back to Rose and she really wanted to talk to Gem so she signaled Nathan that she wanted to talk to Gem but he just ignored her. She was pretty angry at him which I thought was a weird reason to be angry. When we walked Gem to her class, she kept hanging around her when it was pretty obvious that Nathan was just waiting for us to get lost (which was usual) so he could talk to her (he doesn't when we're around). And usually, he's the one who walks her to class. She was being so mean to him, I didn't understand why at all. I told her "Rose, what'sup with you today, why're you being so mean to him?"

      And she told me "Actually, you know how he ignored me just now, right? There's more that I haven't told you yet. He's been saying bad stuff about you" I asked her what and she explained to me that (she thinks) that he misunderstood something and that I had done something bad to her (Rose). He kept insulting me (this is through text cause he would never have the balls to say this in person).

      We'd just come back from our term holiday (Rose missed a week of school after it reopened) so we couldn't possibly have fought when we didn't see each other at all. She sort of cleared things up, said he was misinterpreting things and told him to mind his own business in a much more polite way.

      Why??? Disregarded my support for him so carelessly and just called me things that he didn't even KNOW WAS TRUE. Probably got it from some of the gossipy girls from our school.

      I have no idea why he said that, I may have disliked him in the beginning but I had NEVER said anything about him other than "I don't like how he's always taking Gem like we're nothing". Which is damned true. Gem might have told him something and he might have misinterpreted it horribly OR, she might have told her she didn't like me cause Rose and I were very very close and Gem was just a person from school but when we were sorted into different classes, Rose and Gem ended up in the same class and I, in another. That doesn't seem to matter though because Gem is actually pretty okay with me.

      And another thing, there was one time where I think he ALSO misunderstood a situation, he thought that Rose did something bad to me too. His reaction was completely different.
      "It's okay, people make mistakes. Just make sure you don't repeat it, okay?"
      I do NOT dislike Rose for it but he treats us completely differently.

      Although I know I should, I don't want to forgive him, I hate him and I don't want Gem to be involved with him anymore. He talks to a person's best friend behind her back, what more do I have to say about him?
      Forgiving should be the right thing to do, but I don't want to. And I know that from now on, I will refuse to have anything to do with him. But I want to do the right thing. I just don't know exactly what that is.
    • Re: Best friend's boyfriend

      I know EXACTLY where your coming from. But one thing you have to consider, theres too sides to every story. Last year my best friend dated this older boy from a nearby school so there was no problem of him in between us during school, besides the fact of her constantly talking about him. But everyday after school he would come until my mom picked us up. I thought it was fine, you know 20-30 minutes a day after school was cool. But then he started ditching school to come to ours and see her. Again, i thought nothing of it besides the fact that hes a very bad kid. He smokes pot (notbig deal to some people, it is to me i have my reasons) gets in fights constantly (and not to mention he started cheating on my best friend for about half the time they were dating) and he was just a bad seed. One day i really needed to talk to her about something that happened so I went up to her and him and asked to talk to her, she looked at me, looked at him and he gave this ugly irritated look. Granite she lived like 5 minutes away from me, i still wanted to talk to her. Well guess who she chose, him. A couple days later our guy bestfriend went upto talk to her. Now he usto be friends with her boyfriend until the ditching and what not, he found the boyfriend to be pathetic, which he was. She constantly chose him over us, espicialy when it came to hanging out. We would have plans for a week, he calls her up and asks her to hang out, guess who gets cancelled on, me.
      Anyways, i know what your going through and the only way to make things better is talk to her. When they break up your going to be one of the ones shes going to crawling back to and i know she wont want to hear it but you should realy mention it.
      I know our stories dont seem similar but to explain the whole thing would take forever and this is an already long post. Anways, ttwo sides to each story and talk to her. He's just a guy, and guess what, theres billions out in the world. Let her know that ur not mat but you would really appreciate her not blowing u off for him.
      Hope i helped
    • Re: Best friend's boyfriend

      jus brebre wrote:

      I know EXACTLY where your coming from. But one thing you have to consider, theres too sides to every story. Last year my best friend dated this older boy from a nearby school so there was no problem of him in between us during school, besides the fact of her constantly talking about him. But everyday after school he would come until my mom picked us up. I thought it was fine, you know 20-30 minutes a day after school was cool. But then he started ditching school to come to ours and see her. Again, i thought nothing of it besides the fact that hes a very bad kid. He smokes pot (notbig deal to some people, it is to me i have my reasons) gets in fights constantly (and not to mention he started cheating on my best friend for about half the time they were dating) and he was just a bad seed. One day i really needed to talk to her about something that happened so I went up to her and him and asked to talk to her, she looked at me, looked at him and he gave this ugly irritated look. Granite she lived like 5 minutes away from me, i still wanted to talk to her. Well guess who she chose, him. A couple days later our guy bestfriend went upto talk to her. Now he usto be friends with her boyfriend until the ditching and what not, he found the boyfriend to be pathetic, which he was. She constantly chose him over us, espicialy when it came to hanging out. We would have plans for a week, he calls her up and asks her to hang out, guess who gets cancelled on, me.
      Anyways, i know what your going through and the only way to make things better is talk to her. When they break up your going to be one of the ones shes going to crawling back to and i know she wont want to hear it but you should realy mention it.
      I know our stories dont seem similar but to explain the whole thing would take forever and this is an already long post. Anways, ttwo sides to each story and talk to her. He's just a guy, and guess what, theres billions out in the world. Let her know that ur not mat but you would really appreciate her not blowing u off for him.
      Hope i helped



      Thanks, I really wish I could tell her. I'm afraid that she might choose him over me, but I'd try to. This did help, thanks :)