Sharing a story - Opinions?

    • Sharing a story - Opinions?

      Hi everyone, I just have this unbelievable urge to share this story
      [warning: it's REALLY long because I wanted to give you the whole backstory!] ^^
      I'm just so crazily happy and just need to share it and organise my mind a bit xD
      So, I'd been friends with this guy for a year. Since I met him, we just CLICKED. Like, insta-friends! We had exactly the same interests, could have long conversations about EVERYTHING, we had the same values and morals and opinions, we just got along soo well! Like, seriously, it felt like this guy was made for me!
      We've talked via FaceBook chat right up to three o'clock in the morning, ahaa :) But usually talk throughout the day (just little snippets) then have super deep discussions usually up to about 1 in the morning on school nights.. Longer if it's on a weekend xD We have over 3400 facebook messages.. In just half a year.. not including Viber.. ahaa :)
      Oh! And we're both changing xD He was REALLY silly and immature when I first met him, but, as he's said himself, he's changing. Becoming less silly and immature- influenced by me (as I was much more reserved and mature about things).
      But now he censors his swear words :O and is really respectful and is more mature. And I'm becoming a bit less so xD But it's a really good thing - we were like two extremes on opposite sides of a scale, and now we're slowly going to meet in the middle ^^
      Our different personalities complement each other.. And they just fit and work so naturally :)
      Anyway, nothing happened between us for a year - we were just like best friends, telling each other everything and hanging out all the time.
      OF COURSE I liked him! Haha, he ticks all of my boxes - cute, smart, funny, confident, tall, fit, creative.. He also has the most amazing eyesss O.O
      But we were just friends :\
      Anyway, we had a "movie day" with a couple of mutual friends. It was the fourth one we'd had with the same people - we would just go over to someone's house and watch movies and hang out together all day.
      This time, it was at his house. Now, by this time, I'd completely just lost all hope for him - He was amazing but I didn't think he'd EVER like me, and he didn't seem to be getting any of my hints, and I was getting super mixed signals so I just FRIENDZONED him, you know?
      I mean, I researched all this signals and friendzones stuff - It's super tough to tell the signs if you're already really good friends! Because you don't know if they mean it as a friends or as something more...
      ANYWAY, it was really cold that day at his house, and he only had three blankets for the four of us so one of us always had to share or stay cold.
      I was sitting on this beanbag-type chair that was JUST wide enough for two people. Everyone else was sitting on either the couch or armchair.
      Well, it eventually got dark and got even more cold.
      I got up to go get some water and when I came back, he was sitting in the beanbag thing snuggled under my blanket :O
      Because before that, he had been sitting on the armchair without a blanket.
      But I really didn't want to give up my seat (it was really comfortable!) or my blanket (he took my warm spot xD) so I just, as a friend, told him to "shove over" (haha) and sat right next to him under the blanket.
      I was purposely trying NOT to touch him too much, I thought it would be awkward for us if I did (the beanbag chair was small enough so that if I'd just sat normally, the whole left length of my body would have been alongside the whole length of his right side).
      So we were watching a movie, and then he jokingly said something like "snuggle with me!" 8| Something like that.. "Let's snuggle" or.. I dunno haha
      So he just lay his head on my shoulder and snuggled up under my chin while my arm sort of draped around him (I WAS secretly enjoying this.. xP)
      His legs were all over the place though, so at first I just had mine tucked up like in a foetal position so there was no unnecessary touching (though I wanted there to be.. hehe), but that was a bit uncomfortable so I just decided: To hell with being awkward xD
      And so my legs went on top of his (I was wearing leggings and a long top).
      We lay like that for a while, and then I felt his hand sort of... BRUSHING MY LEG!! O.O
      I had no idea though, it was really light and infrequent so just thought he was just moving his hand or something.. Then he did it a bit more, and I was like.. Mindblown.. Almost haha, I was getting suspicious xD
      But the main reason I'd convinced myself he wouldn't work for me was because I didn't think he'd ever like me back! And then he went and did that.. And.. It confused me - did it mean something? I had no idea. X(
      Luckily (but unluckily), his aunt and uncle walked in at that moment and we sort of sprang apart.
      But to be honest, I really did like it! And it actually didn't feel awkward or anything like that. But then again, I wasn't really sure how I felt about it. Because I'd JUST fully friendzoned him and gotten over him and everything.. But this just reignited my feelings! And I felt that attraction/crushy-ness again. You know? When you always check if they're in the room, try to find them, be near them? You're always AWARE of them.
      Anyway, that continued to our school Music Camp. Just put up a notch.
      It was at music camp where we confessed our feelings to each other. And so much happened.. The first night, we walked around with a friend and had heaps of fun - he picked me up and did a "princess hold" on me! And then when we were alone, he hugged me and kissed the top of my head.. Then asked what I was thinking.. The second night, we discussed life and the universe and everything about US.. and finally had a walk just the two of us and then lay together under the stars ... It was super romantic and cute.. But.. To summarise, we were both confused.
      He said it was because he was unsure of his feelings and whether he was mature enough or ready for a serious relationship (he said "serious" because he couldn't think of a relationship between us of being anything less). He didn't want to ruin our friendship or to be hurt by me (he'd been hurt badly in four other relationships he'd had before I knew him).
      I was unsure because I wasn't sure if he was just a REALLY good friend or something more. I knew it would be AMAZING if it turned out to be something more, but he was unsure, which made ME unsure, and I'd just been so confused beforehand with the whole "friendzone" and "signals" thing.
      He was really mature about it and we decided just to wait until we knew..
      But we agreed on being "cuddly friends" lol. So not as crude as friends-with-benefits. It was more an emotional connection. With extra "cuddling" xD
      So the week after music camp were exams. On Tuesday, he sort of came up to me and said something vaguely about a study day on wednesday (we had the day off)
      We arranged it and he came over to my house. I'm not normally allowed to have a guy over at my house.. Alone.. Without parental supervision.. But my parents know I'm responsible and can be trusted (unlike my sister- kekeke)
      My mum still gave me a lecture about having a boyfriend wouldn't be good because I've got to focus on school and exams T_T
      I'm a year 10 student doing 3 extension VCE subjects, having violin and piano lessons and participating in 5 co-curricular activities.. So I knew what she meant.. I didn't have that much time for a boyfriend.. That didn't stop me from wanting it though xP
      Anyway, he came over at twelve and left at seven - we were in my room alone.
      We did about.. 2 1/2 hours of study xP
      Haha, well, at first, I was COMPELTELY intent on this actually being a study day! I'd actually wanted to go to the library to study and was iffy about him coming to my house because I knew it would be harder to convince my parents to let him come :\ I thought he would take a while to make up his mind about us and I just completely thought of him as a "cuddly friend".
      Anyway, we were just revising and having heaps of fun doing it (there is honestly no awkwardness between us whatsoever)
      After a while though, he sat on my bed and pulled me onto his lap (this wasn't unusual as this happened at music camp a couple of times).
      But he was getting a bit more serious now and said: "[my name]... I've made up my mind..."
      And then he kissed me!
      abfskdgjjdibfkx njdshfkjdwaik <3 <3 !! ^^ xD
      It was my first kiss ever! I mean, I'd had boyfriends before, but I'd never kissed them or anything - they were just little flings.. But this guy is FOR REAL.
      Anyway, it was... A LOT wetter than I expected xD He uhmm.. Used a lot more tongue than I would have liked 8| But, well, you know - that can be fixed ;P hehehe :)
      I mean, I've never kissed before... But I know A LOT about that sort of stuff.. *ahem*
      Well.. We didn't get anymore studying done after that xD
      It felt so right and good and natural, like we'd been doing it all our lives.
      It's so hard to explain, but we just.. Are made for each other x)
      Honestly, we could've just lain together for days, and we'd be happy. It didn't go out of hand. It was more intimate and caring and passionate..
      NO SEX - ahaa, I'm not that king of girl :\
      But, hahaa, it wasn't even awkward when I could feel his boner [and commented] lol ;D And it tied in with a previous "in-joke".. hehe
      Anyway, we officially started going out then! We saw each other the next day [Thursday] at school and spent all morning together PROPERLY revising - haha, because he didn't get to revise for his media exam at all D:
      Unfortunately... He had to leave on Sunday to go to Queensland :(
      He would miss my birthday.. Our first week anniversary.. Our ONE MONTH anniversary too! He'd be gone for five weeks!! T_T
      He's coming back on the 18th of July :( AND he's got no reception! So we can't even call or contact each other..
      But before he left, he asked for my postal address..
      He wanted to GIVE and send me things and letters (naww!) <3
      And.. We really only had 3 days TOGETHER as a couple.. But w've been friends for over a year.. And.. I might be falling in love..
      I mean, I'm sure I am!
      It's just, my stance on love is that, generally,it is EXTREMELY rare in younger people (ie. children, teenagers) but it CAN exist. And he knows my stance on this, I mean, I feel pretty strongly about it. That love in highschool relationships and such is, a lot of the time, imagined and false or just a really strong "LIKE".
      But, I think.. I honestly am falling in love.
      I can't stop thinking about him at all. He's been gone for 19 days now.. But none of my feelings are weakening or dampening at all. In fact, they feel stronger.
      He and I spoke a bit before he left.. We called it an "aching". It's indescribable. But he knows my stance on "love" and.. He's so cute! He agrees with me, a little bit (he thinks love is more common than I do) and keeps wanting to say that he loves me! But he agrees it's a really strong emotion and that it shouldn't be used so flippantly (as teenagers often use it).
      I'll leave you with some direct quotes of thing's he's said to me.. :)
      ("Jacqui" is my nickname, btw)

      "Your mind really appeals to me, its not too often you meet Somone who thinks on the same level as you do but for them to be interested in you and vice versa is even better, o can tell you anything and its natural, unawkward and eight, its just perfect.."

      "...MY WONDERFUL JACQUI!!! ;( ... and I'm sad now, cos I miss you, and i will more.. butttt.. why diddnt my alarm..?? Jacqui, have fun without me, ;( and i shall see you on the 18th... I feel a strong bond with you that I havnt actully felt with anyone before :P so you are special to me, and i REALLY like (not love, soon) you :) ill miss you jacqui, my confiding, comforting, cuddly friend (who is also more then my friend :P) Ill miss you jacqui."

      "Naww jacqui... i, words, I wish we could do the 'eragon' mind push thing, so then youd know myfeelings for you...Can't find words!!!!Well, I doubt its love, it could be the start... I dont know.."

      "Haha... well its a deep longing to bee neer you and just, hold you... it... can't be discribed" <-- We later described it as "aching" lol

      "I.. really think, something... what do i think...I think of you..."

      12am, friday morning:
      Him: "I go away in 2 days, and ill be kissing you in a little over 8 hours
      Haha who cares what people think"

      Me: "That actually sounds realllyy sweet!
      like a romantic drama film (The note book? :P)"
      Him: "I really wanna say I love you jacqui but im not cos its too strong but jow i know why people use it, its conveniant, and easy. Eg (to abov3 comment) oh I love you jacqui...
      One day, ill say and mean it"

      A little bit later, as we're finishing our conversation:
      "Goodnight jacqui, I really am thinking about you a lot and i genuinely have feelings for you :) ill see you in the morning, where i shall say hello, hug you, stroll out of sight if any teachers, tilt your head and kiss you, not a full on young one but, you know, enough..(;"

      We have so many in-jokes, we're IN SYNC (sometimes we finish each other's sentences or I write/say something just as he's about to write/say it!), we get what we call "heart-skips".. Which is when our heart does like a little double palpitation thing when one of us writes/says something super sweet, he calls me adorable and cute (ALL the time O.O) and I made up a word to mean cute and sexy; "scexy" xP
      ... We're learning morse code so that we can send cecret messages when we kiss each other.. xD
      I just REALLY felt a need to share this story!! I'm just so happy and bubbly and elated, and I wanted to know what you all think - I think I'm falling in love, what do you think? I'm only 16, but.. Still! :O
      What do you think of him?
      What do you think of the story?

      PS: I'm sorry it's soo long, and not really asking for advice or anything, it's just.. ndkfhjsd, so happy; And I just wanted to share my happiness ^^
    • Re: Sharing a story - Opinions?

      BlanchedGoodness wrote:

      And.. We really only had 3 days TOGETHER as a couple.. But w've been friends for over a year.. And.. I might be falling in love..
      I mean, I'm sure I am!
      It's just, my stance on love is that, generally,it is EXTREMELY rare in younger people (ie. children, teenagers) but it CAN exist. And he knows my stance on this, I mean, I feel pretty strongly about it. That love in highschool relationships and such is, a lot of the time, imagined and false or just a really strong "LIKE".
      But, I think.. I honestly am falling in love.

      Love happens regardless of age. I've witnessed love happen, and I've felt love. It's something you feel, and you know inside whether or not you feel it for somebody else.

      I really enjoyed reading your story, it got me smiling quite a bit. He sounds like a nice guy. Hopefully you can spend more time with him soon, I know that distances can be hard. But seeing each other is worth waiting, right?
      Your relationship is young. Let it blossom into something beautiful.

    • Re: Sharing a story - Opinions?

      My views on love really are beginning to evolve.. :)
      When I was 5 years old.. I told my parents I loved a boy who was 7 - haha!
      But it's gone back to that I think - the more innocent, hopeful view on love where it is the feeling that defines it, not age.
      I do think the word love is bandied about quite a lot these days though :\ And it irks me to no end when someone tells their bf/gf that they love them.. Then break up just a couple of days later :(
      But I AM beginning to see.. (through personal experience :P) that love really can exist, regardless of age :)
      Naww, the fact that you said that my story made you smile just made me smile a heap! I'm glad that I was able to spread a little of my happiness to you and that it's not just me who gets to feel this! ^^
      Distances are super hard D: Especially when you can't talk to them.
      But the distance is definitely strengthening my feelings for him and making me appreciate him even more :)
      Thankyou for your reply,