Need advice, help, guidance anything please.

    • Need advice, help, guidance anything please.

      Hi I know this is a teen site but I am 23 o not much older and need advice from people round my age. This is jist of my story. Ok guess Im going to start this long story years ago when I was back in high school. Back when I was a different person. I was the nicest most relaxed, caring, good guy anyone ever met. I was dating a girl named Brittany Haygood for close to 3 years we were madly in love. Then my parents divorced my mom was the cause of it she is a very emotionally dist ached, void person. she didn't tell my dad for over 6 years once she ever loved him, so eventually he couldn't take it and left. She went berserk wit hanger and chose to focus that on me and blame me in her mind. For next few years I was beaten near daily, told how useless I was, sorry I was, and what a mistake i was. So I started growing darker and more angry with each day before I knew it i was taking it out on Brittany, arguing for no reason or over something petty, trying my best to make her hate me cause i hated my life. Until I succeeded and drove her away, crushed her horribly. I then shortly after turned to drugs and alcohol making my life worse, my next relationship with girl named Jessie same story cause of my life at time. I made her hate me, I then had the epiphany that every relationship I was in I ruined and what I had became. I just shut down emotionally I didn't care for anyone, want to care for anyone, want a relationship want any of my friends for 5 years i went through the motions acting out my whole life. I act happy, I act funny, I acted like my friends were a big part of my life and maybe in a way they were I cared for them I'd do anything for them but I didn't have any feelings of emotional attachment to them. Then one day a new girl got hired at my work named Jessica. The day Jessica got hired it was like someone turned that switch back on I had feelings and emotion for real for first time in years. I had a instant connection to her I can't explain. I wanted to get to know her and be a part of her life. Year goes by we are great friends for first time in years i am happy, then life got even better we started talking and dating, we later told others at work and started getting serious. Then one night I shared with her my deepest secret something hard for a guy like me to say, because of my life and way I led it and what happened in it I am still a virgin. I instantly saw a change in her eyes, she immediately saw me as a different person. she saw me for the shy, insecure, self hating person I am as opposed to the calm cool, collected person i try and carry myself as. She grew more distant everyday, till I asked her if she still loved me or what was wrong. She told me she felt we had nothing in common. I told hr that was bull and called her on the virginity problem, she said it was a part of it because she wants someone who knows what they are doing, she doesn't want to train someone. So she left me broke my heart and after first time in years of being happy instantly went back to even more miserable. I tried to pick up the pieces and go on, slowly getting better, we became great friends and grew closer as friends as ever. She tells me I'm her best friend she has ever had. Last few weeks it has gotten even better and more happy, we even started acting more like we were back together to the point people asked me if we were. Then last night Gery came to me man to man, which I respect he and Jessica are in love and he asked or my blessing as to not hurt our friendship. Even though it hurts me to know she'll never be in my life way I want her to be I do wit hall my heart want her to be happy so told them so. Told them I'd always be there friends and would pray they can be happy together cause they deserve it. But it boils down to I'm sick of being the nice guy, the guy always treaded on and tore apart because he loves to much, tells the girl everyday how much he loves her how beautiful she is instead of disrespecting her to his friends, treating her like dirt and treating her like a booty call.I'm sick of being taken advantage of, used like a bank by friends, being depressed, being alone, never being the one, and I know I cant find the one or stop being this guy unless I can learn to like myself, I'm overweight big time, I'm not handsome, no one told me as a kid shaving makes hair grow back worse so I have a hairy back(another thing I hate to admit. I hate every aspect of my body and personality. But I know if I cant learn to like myself or change myself I'll never be happy. Sorry if it was a little hard to read text this to a friend for advice, didn't want to retype whole story so cut and paste it here, and incredibly this is a short version of the whole story.
    • Re: Need advice, help, guidance anything please.

      Shave your back (or use Nair or whatever) if you don't like it being hairy.

      Start a diet / exercise routine if you don't like your weight.

      There will ALWAYS be other girls. The darn world's full of the blighters. They get in *everywhere*. In the fridge, in the cupboards, in the laundry. I don't know how they get in. They must smell the food and dig through the walls or something.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by cool_walking_ ().

    • Re: Need advice, help, guidance anything please.

      Man, if anyone was deservant of favors to increase your luck, its you my friend. Never doubt that you are an amazing person, because through all of that, all your hardships, sorrows and lows, you have emerged with one thing still intact. Your life. And having that strength to solder on no matter what makes you the strongest of all people. Although for you i see you need tips, so i have some
      -Don't tell girls you are a virgin, just tell them you haven't had sex in awhile. Sure its a lie, but the thing is not having sex in awhile and not having it at all are basically the same thing.
      -Confidence is the key. Keep yourself well groomed, wear nice clothes, try to wear a smile, and girls will love you for it, and your friends will love it, and you will love it.
      -Wake up everyday and look forward to another day of learning, discovery, fun, your day is what you make of it mostly, so buy yourself nice things to make you happy.
      -The key to happiness is making other people happy, doing favors, helping them out, they may not appreciate it this time around but they sure will eventually.
      Most of all man, don't be afraid of your past, embrace it, learn from it. I hope i have helped you, solder on you brave soul.
      The smallest man can climb the tallest mountain, all he has to do is try.