I really don't know what to do

    • I really don't know what to do

      So I'm in a crappy place, I guess. I've been feeling lowish for about 2 years but apparently it's getting worse, but I can't tell. About 5 individual people have all told me to get help, friends, family, nurses, and I don't understand why sometimes. Occasionally I have a huge low, every few weeks or so, and I have major depressive symptoms, I will cut and I have had a few suicidal thoughts, but I don't feel like this all the time. In the inbetween weeks, I just feel bored, tired and disinterested in everything, but I don't constantly feel like I can't cope.

      I've been to a woman (I don't know what she was) and I just felt patronised. She told the woman who took me that I'm 'seriously ill' but I just feel like all that I need is a hug and however sad this sounds, to be in a relationship. Confirmation that I can be desirable and wanted and to have someone there just to protect me, all of which family and friends just can't do.

      I dieted majorly a few months ago and lost 10 pounds in a month, getting to 120 pounds and I'm 5'7. I occasionally experimented with bulimia but I've stopped doing that but now I feel disgusting and fat and ugly again.

      I've got to go to this woman again tomorrow, it's just so horrible, but I really don't want to because there's nothing wrong with me, but I don't want to let down my friends and family who've asked me to do this for them. I don't want to be made more of an outsider and a freak than I already feel and I think this will do that. Help...
    • Re: I really don't know what to do

      I really don't know what to say..
      This does sound really serious. Is there anything that has caused this? Tbh your better staying out a relationship if your feeling like this, you might just get hurt and this will cause the situation to be a lot worse than it is just now. All you need is your friends and family, get out there, tell people how your feeling, or keep a diary and write it all down, how your feeling etc, that could help. Having company is good, spending time with your friends will make you happy. Just try not worry, listen to what the lady says, its her job and she knows what she is doing. Trust her and things might get better.
      Chin up and good luck:)
    • Re: I really don't know what to do

      Hey :)
      First of all I just want to say that you seem really strong, and thanks for sharing this :)

      Secondly, I know it may seem that way and feel like nothings wrong.
      But, and I don't want to just sound like the others but maybe you really do .. I know you say you don't feel like you can't cope all the time.
      But the times you do, are often .. and sound really severe.

      Talking to whoever this woman is, I think all professionals are abit patronising to be honest .. but talking to a stranger sometimes really does help .. like it lets out all your inner feelings.
      Also, you do need to talk to someone about experimenting with bulimia before it turns into something alot more serious than just experimenting.

      It may not work for you, but for me .. a diary REALLY helps. Maybe try it a few times and see if it works for you?

      I'm always around for a chat, just private message me if you need someone! :)
      - All we can do is keep breathing <3 -