Cowboy Humor

    • Cowboy Humor

      Advice for you 'up and coming' cowboys/girls...
      1) Don't squat with your spurs on
      2) Always drink up stream from the herd
      3) Never smack a man who's chewing
      4) Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day
      5) The only way to drive cattle fast, is slowly
      6) Never miss a good chance to shut up
      7) Don't dig for water near an outhouse
      8) Don't drive black cattle in the dark
      9) The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse
      10) Make apologies not excuses
      11) Water and truth are freshest at the source
      12) Don't go in if you can't figure your way back out
      13) If you climb in the saddle, be ready for a ride
      14) Any cowboy/girl can carry a tune, the problem is when he/she tries to unload it
      15) Generally, you ain't learning if your gums are flapping
      16) If it don't seem worth the effort, it ain't
      17) Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier then putting it back in
      18) The quickest way to double your money is to fold it
      19) Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction
      20) Good judgement comes from experience, which comes from bad judgement
      21) The biggest trouble you'll ever run into watches you shave his face every morning
      22) When in doubt let your horse do the thinking
      23) Rodeo means, bring your own balls
      24) Don't mess with something that ain't bugging you
      25) It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid, then to open it and prove it
      26) Don't worry about biting off more than you can chew, your mouth's probably bigger than you thought
      27) Never ask a barber if you need a haircut
      Ain’t no point in beatin’ a dead horse…’course, can’t hurt none either.