Hey guys, this topic isn't about to get into a relationship, more of trying to politely avoid it. Much appreciated if you guys had some helpful advice, so here's the problem:

I go to this youth group every week, and some couple months back we went camping. I met this girl- or more like she introduced herself to me(it was like a 3 second introduction since I seriously had no interest in meeting anyone new at the time). I went home from camp and she added me on facebook and started to talk to me on chat. So the first couple minute(within 3-4 minutes) she mentioned that I was the only guy she felt comfortable talking to even though we hardly know each other/barely met.. she said some pretty personal stuff of how she felt about me here and then, but never mentioned she liked me. She keeps talking to me everyday and even though I politely talk to her, I don't like to be bothered and it gets really annoying. It's been a month or two right now and she still keeps talking to me, even though I even shut her off by saying "Hey, sorry, I'm busy right now. I'm playing video games" which is supposedly the biggest turn off. She also wants to go to the movies with me, which I don't want to and I don't know a polite way to reject it. I'm just super nice and I don't want to hurt her.

Someone help, please! Sorry if the story is a little messy..hopefully you guys can comprehend.

Hipster wrote:

So your guy's advice is to lie to her? Very nice.
Like others have said, if you're in a relationship, say it. If you're not, just tell her that you're not looking for a relationship (or maybe she's just looking for a friendship).

Yeah I wouldn't really want to lie. I try avoiding it, because usually what goes around comes around.

No I'm not, being single is great, at least at the moment. Yeah I would say that if she mentioned that she liked me or somewhat similar scenery... I can't just flat out say "I'm not looking for a relationship" in a casual conversation. If friendship is what she wants, I can't do that. I'm honestly very occupied. I hardly like to hang out with people unless they are close friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to give you guys an image of myself that I am anti-social. Like I said I'm super friendly, also outgoing, funny, etc. etc. It's just that I would really like my own personal space. Nothing anything against her, just personal preference.

What if she asks to watch a different movie or reschedule it?

Also, the same problem applies: How do, I apologize for the rudeness, get her off my dick? It's been going on for too long, and I figured I can't quietly slip away.

Hipster wrote:

Given the chance, why not have another friend? And to say "get off my dick", my god. You sound arrogant.

I suppose having another friend is fine, but let me explain myself. I have a bestfriend, close friends, and just friends. Friends would just mean casual talks here and there, but I hardly have any attention to them. Close friends are people who I value for their strong bond characteristics with deeper conversation, I only occasionally like to hang out with them. My bestfriend is who- doesn't matter if I'm sick, in a bad day, terrible mood, I'd still make time to hang out with because even in a bad mood, I'd still enjoy hanging out with him in the end. She is my friend under my own definition of friend, but she clings on to me too much, she talks to me literally everyday of every minute, every time I go on facebook, on my phone, etc.


You have a baseless assumption, I did explain why I said that as well as apologize. At least, I said it in a matured manner. I'm sorry if it did offend you, and sorry if frustration wasn't a good enough excuse to act out that way.

I guess I do have to tell her upfront, there's no way of trying to run away from it. I thought of something like this, I just didn't know how to tell her in a pleasant way. I guess there isn't a nice way, rather just ways that hurts less- like just sugarcoating the worst, you know? Why I'm uncomfortable of this is because same thing happened to me where I was the victim. It's not a nice feeling being stomped by the person that you enjoyed being with, so I was counting on a way where she wouldn't experience the pain that I had. Never mind that, thank you guys.