what is wrong with me?

    • what is wrong with me?

      i'm a 20 year old junior math major, and i hate myself.

      for the last two decade I've over-analyzed my life into some weird, compulsively depressing, mesh of apathy and anxiety. i can't even remember the last time i was happy.

      =>i set my alarm for 7:00am every morning, and 70% of those mornings I'll just hit snooze till 10:00am; causing me to look homeless for my 10:10am class.

      + when i do manage to wake up early, i usually get baked, take a shower, and watch futurama till breakfast.

      +i haven't shaven in over six weeks, and my beard is completely un-groomed; i dislike it, but shaving just feels too productive (its like i don't want to give a fuck).

      +my best friends are a bunch of violent idiots.

      +i chose math as a major to help keep my mind off of depression. it has become too easy, and now i'm considering to elect chemistry as a second major.

      +(and this is a big one)i don't really talk to girls that often, but when i do, they usually have interested in me, but for some reason i just don't care. in fact, i hate it when girls approach me. i don't know what's wrong with me?

      ^ex. recently i asked a pretty hot girl to hook up with me at a party. she said no, but her roommate is my roommates girlfriend. My roommates girlfriend gave her my number, and she started texting me saying stupid shit like "lets play chess." recently she said that she wanted to be friends with benefits. i haven't texted her since.

      this may just seem like blabbering, idk. does anyone relate to this at all? what is my problem? are these pre-cursing symptoms to some mental disorder? i'd appreciate the input.
    • Re: what is wrong with me?

      Wow guys. Great advice.

      For the waking up problem. Start working out. It forces you to get up for a reason, starts your day off productively, and you will feel much better throughout the rest of the day. Plus, you will begin to become more secure in your own body as you gain more and more mucsle.

      As for the not caring problem, I can't help you very much as I don't know great details. First off, shave. You will feel like a new person and it will mark the point from which you will start fresh. Try to befriend some chicks too and maybe that will allow you to expand your friend zone away from the violent idiots. Also, by talking to more and more girls, you may just find a girl that you DO want to pursue. I'm assuming you don't want to pursue the other girls because you frankly just don't like them.

      I hope this helped and good luck.
    • Re: what is wrong with me?

      prestonvs10 wrote:

      i'm a 20 year old junior math major, and i hate myself.

      for the last two decade I've over-analyzed my life into some weird, compulsively depressing, mesh of apathy and anxiety. i can't even remember the last time i was happy.

      =>i set my alarm for 7:00am every morning, and 70% of those mornings I'll just hit snooze till 10:00am; causing me to look homeless for my 10:10am class.

      + when i do manage to wake up early, i usually get baked, take a shower, and watch futurama till breakfast.

      +i haven't shaven in over six weeks, and my beard is completely un-groomed; i dislike it, but shaving just feels too productive (its like i don't want to give a fuck).

      +my best friends are a bunch of violent idiots.

      +i chose math as a major to help keep my mind off of depression. it has become too easy, and now i'm considering to elect chemistry as a second major.

      +(and this is a big one)i don't really talk to girls that often, but when i do, they usually have interested in me, but for some reason i just don't care. in fact, i hate it when girls approach me. i don't know what's wrong with me?

      ^ex. recently i asked a pretty hot girl to hook up with me at a party. she said no, but her roommate is my roommates girlfriend. My roommates girlfriend gave her my number, and she started texting me saying stupid shit like "lets play chess." recently she said that she wanted to be friends with benefits. i haven't texted her since.

      this may just seem like blabbering, idk. does anyone relate to this at all? what is my problem? are these pre-cursing symptoms to some mental disorder? i'd appreciate the input.


      You're unmotivated. That's all. Most people are like that. No, there is no indication you will ever have a mental disorder, that's just ridiculous. You need motivation, and drive. Take chemidtry, if math is too easy; it'll be better for you.

      The inability to wake yourself up is pure laziness. I think a lot of your problems would go away if you stopped making excuses and figured out what you wanted to do with your life. What is your goal? What do you want out of relationships with other people? It's not your abilities, it's your motivation.

      Just consider what I've said. It's not meant to offend you, it's the utmost honesty from someone who has been where you are now.
      [SIGPIC]http://imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/sean-connery-id-give-a-fuck-but-i-already-gave-it-to-your-mother-last-night.jpg[/SIGPIC]
    • Re: what is wrong with me?

      I'm guessing that half of the people who have posted on this have no idea what it's really like to have depression. I'm 19 and I've have been depressed since I was 13. I started cutting when I was 14 and started starving myself at 16 all of which has made my depression worse.

      Anyway I can relate to you because for the past 2 years it has been getting worse and worse, I don't want to wake up and do anything but just lay in the bed.

      I'm not a doctor and not trying to diagnose but I think you may have depression and should go see a doctor or a counselor. But be careful when choosing a counselor because one that I was seeing wanted to give me sleeping pills so I could overcome my insomnia.. Giving sleeping pills to a suicidal person is not a very good counselor :/

      Good luck hun and I hope you can overcome this feeling quickly!
    • Re: what is wrong with me?

      meg.loomis wrote:

      ^^ what makes you think you're the only person who's struggled with it?


      I didn't say I was. Everyone else said he was unmotivated and didn't think anything was wrong, you actually had good advice of going to see a psychiatrist. Never said a word about you or calling anyone else out saying they hadn't. Just the advice they gave helps none.
    • Re: what is wrong with me?

      lov3ly wrote:

      I didn't say I was. Everyone else said he was unmotivated and didn't think anything was wrong, you actually had good advice of going to see a psychiatrist. Never said a word about you or calling anyone else out saying they hadn't. Just the advice they gave helps none.


      Or maybe lack of motivation leads to deeper depression. Vicious cycle.

      This was true with me, therefore I contend it is true with many others. Not everything can be cured by *literally* telling someone all your problems and taking a magic pill. There has to be some input from the "depressed" person.
      [SIGPIC]http://imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/sean-connery-id-give-a-fuck-but-i-already-gave-it-to-your-mother-last-night.jpg[/SIGPIC]