i'm a 20 year old junior math major, and i hate myself.
for the last two decade I've over-analyzed my life into some weird, compulsively depressing, mesh of apathy and anxiety. i can't even remember the last time i was happy.
=>i set my alarm for 7:00am every morning, and 70% of those mornings I'll just hit snooze till 10:00am; causing me to look homeless for my 10:10am class.
+ when i do manage to wake up early, i usually get baked, take a shower, and watch futurama till breakfast.
+i haven't shaven in over six weeks, and my beard is completely un-groomed; i dislike it, but shaving just feels too productive (its like i don't want to give a fuck).
+my best friends are a bunch of violent idiots.
+i chose math as a major to help keep my mind off of depression. it has become too easy, and now i'm considering to elect chemistry as a second major.
+(and this is a big one)i don't really talk to girls that often, but when i do, they usually have interested in me, but for some reason i just don't care. in fact, i hate it when girls approach me. i don't know what's wrong with me?
^ex. recently i asked a pretty hot girl to hook up with me at a party. she said no, but her roommate is my roommates girlfriend. My roommates girlfriend gave her my number, and she started texting me saying stupid shit like "lets play chess." recently she said that she wanted to be friends with benefits. i haven't texted her since.
this may just seem like blabbering, idk. does anyone relate to this at all? what is my problem? are these pre-cursing symptoms to some mental disorder? i'd appreciate the input.
for the last two decade I've over-analyzed my life into some weird, compulsively depressing, mesh of apathy and anxiety. i can't even remember the last time i was happy.
=>i set my alarm for 7:00am every morning, and 70% of those mornings I'll just hit snooze till 10:00am; causing me to look homeless for my 10:10am class.
+ when i do manage to wake up early, i usually get baked, take a shower, and watch futurama till breakfast.
+i haven't shaven in over six weeks, and my beard is completely un-groomed; i dislike it, but shaving just feels too productive (its like i don't want to give a fuck).
+my best friends are a bunch of violent idiots.
+i chose math as a major to help keep my mind off of depression. it has become too easy, and now i'm considering to elect chemistry as a second major.
+(and this is a big one)i don't really talk to girls that often, but when i do, they usually have interested in me, but for some reason i just don't care. in fact, i hate it when girls approach me. i don't know what's wrong with me?
^ex. recently i asked a pretty hot girl to hook up with me at a party. she said no, but her roommate is my roommates girlfriend. My roommates girlfriend gave her my number, and she started texting me saying stupid shit like "lets play chess." recently she said that she wanted to be friends with benefits. i haven't texted her since.
this may just seem like blabbering, idk. does anyone relate to this at all? what is my problem? are these pre-cursing symptoms to some mental disorder? i'd appreciate the input.