First time

    • First time

      I really need help with this. I'm scared, nervous, and freaking out.

      Background:
      I recently came out (about 2 months ago), after keeping it a secret for years. I started dating this girl a little over a month ago. She has prior experience, while I have none. We talk about my inexperience sometimes, and how about I'm embarassed by it. I'm also a very shy, very quiet person, so I'm not one who voices my concerns and thoughts.

      Situation:
      My girlfriend and I do some sexual stuff, but have never gone all the way. She has hinted at it a couple of times, and has even tried to go for it (Me stopping her by bringing my knee up). Last night was more intense though. She did her usual feel up while we were making out, but then it got more serious. She started rubbing me on the outside of my jeans while doing her usual routine, which didn't bother me. Towards the end of her routine she starting moving down to my belly, which isn't usual because she has tried before. This time though instead of slowly moving her hand down my pants and me stopping her before getting too far. She quickly went to unbuttoning my pants. And I'll admit I had a fleeting thought to just let her have her way, but after that thought I put my knee to give her the hint that I wasn't ready, and it took her a second or two to catch it, but stopped right away and didn't try again.

      Questions:
      I'm wondering if I should just let her have her way, and just swallow my fears.?
      I'm wondering if we do go for it, what do I do.?
      I'm also wondering, if we do start for it and I start to be uncomfortable, how do I tell her that without offending her? I personally don't think I'll be able to tell her to stop if she doesn't catch nonverbal hints.?

      Any advice or tips you give will be gladly accepted. I'm extremely nervous and really embarassed about this, but I need help.

    • Re: First time

      skillet9980 wrote:

      i say let her have her way. all you have to do is lay back and enjoy.

      maybe talk/text before hand that your ok with it, but let her know that if you feel uncomfortable at any time that she should stop. if you tell her prior she may try to be more aware of what's going on


      How can I make myself relax, instead of getting tense in that situation?

    • Re: First time

      skillet9980 wrote:

      well I'd say have a few drinks if you were a little older lol.

      really you don't have to be that nervous. your just kind of letting her do her thing this time to ease you into it. you don't have anything to worry about. if you can get that mind set, it will help you relax a lot


      I guess I am more worried about not doing something right. Or not meeting her expectation.

    • Re: First time

      If I were you, I wouldn't want to have to take a drink to be ready for my first time. I would want it to be when you are absolutely sure and wouldn't have to convince yourself into it. I also wouldn't let your girlfriend have her way with you while you just lay there, that would feel awkward to me and I don't know if I would consider that my first time, that feels very one sided to me. I think you both should be doing something. Let her guide you because she has more experience, but also explore her body, touch her.. you don't have to do anything major but at least do something and make sure she feels good too.

      I don't know that's just how I think, you should probably talk to your girlfriend about it though, hopefully she can comfort you on the subject while not pushing you into doing anything if your not ready.
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