Feeling Rather Lonely

    • Feeling Rather Lonely

      I started a new school year this week and although I've made friends with some old aquaintences, I still feel horribly alone. I'm very independent and really don't care much for people. Most of the time I'd prefer people mind their own business. But, being human, I still need a friend to talk to at the end of the day.

      During lunch I sit with a group of people I love very much. But often I don't talk. So then with a few classes I talk or sit near people I know and we have class together. We say hi, and that's usually it. Being near them makes me happy, but not satisfied.

      But, like I said earlier, I just want to finish the school day and have a friend there to talk to. Prepare for the cliche... I am feeling quite empty inside. Perhaps I bring this upon myself for not liking to text or talk very often, but shy and independent people get lonely eventually.

      I had some nasty depression over the summer and last school year. A couple of times since I was a tween my mom considered getting me counseling. I've done school counseling in the past (even when I was about eight... I had issues with school) for shyness/lack of social-bility and they don't do very much. Overall, my happiness level has been at an all time high (perhaps since I was a little kid), but I still feel very lonely.

      I find I am very happy when I have a male friend to talk to. All I require/want is one person. I have never had a boyfriend so I don't know how I would do with one. I'd like one for support and such but I don't know if I'm capable or sane enough to provide my half of the relationship at this point. I go by the Swedish proverb, "Give me love when I deserve it the least, because that's when I need it the most", but I don't know if anyone else does.

      I am not sure how this is a solvable solution, but I really needed to get this down. I apologize if this is in the wrong forum as well.
      time has fallen asleep in the afternoon sunshine
    • Re: Feeling Rather Lonely

      You say you really don't care much for people. Is this something that you want to stay the same? Why do you want them to mind their own business? Friends don't mind their own business, they pay attention to you. You can't say "I don't want to care about people, but I want them to care about me". People aren't going to want to be friends with someone who doesn't act like a friend to them.
    • Re: Feeling Rather Lonely

      I care for a lot of people (a specific group of kids, actually), but overall, I really don't care for my classmates. I just do not like being with them 24/7 because I am not very social. Yeah, I'm around the people I love (the specific group of kids), but... that's about it. They rarely acknowledge me or talk to me. Usually it's about petty stuff or questions about homework anyways.

      Another thing is that I've never really had a friend (perhaps about two currently, but I rarely see them) that pays attention to me as much as I do to them, unless I'm blind or something. I am more likely to put 60% towards a relationship and only recieve 40%, and be okay with it. I tend to hang on to relationships long after they have expired.

      I think I bring this upon myself.

      Sorry about that contradiction, I was tired.
      time has fallen asleep in the afternoon sunshine
    • Re: Feeling Rather Lonely

      Honestly... most talk IS pretty petty. People have conversations about the prices of things at the supermarket, relay the script of a TV show, or "have you noticed how weird that one curl of that girl's hair is??!". What would you like to be talking about? How about starting a conversation on the topic?

      I think relationships do tend to be asymmetrical. Because you put effort into the people who are interesting to you, and they're probably interesting to you because you think they're smart or funny or better than you in some other way i.e. they provide something that you can't just get from yourself. So basically, everyone's constantly chasing people who are too good for them, and ignoring the people who are chasing them because they're boring.

      Post was edited 1 time, last by cool_walking_ ().

    • Re: Feeling Rather Lonely

      heya, im kind of in the same stickyly situation:(
      i have 'friends' but we just remain 'friends' we dont become any closer, i have tried and tried and tried with them but they just dont give anything back? im going through a pretty tough patch this summer actually,kind of depressed. but anyway this isnt about me!
      i suggest you figure out what kind of group your dealing with first and try to fit into there 'group' eg. if they are 'popular' try wearing make-up and coolclothes to fit in with them:)

      i hope this has helped xx
    • Re: Feeling Rather Lonely

      Its hard making friends. Especially where the relationship is 50/50 but it'll happen. Its always awkward in a large crowd, but maybe (silly as this sounds) practice at home about things you wouldn't mind talking about with the rest of the group. Maybe they really like you, but think your super shy or maybe they are shy to reach out first. Either way, if you really want to befriend and socialize, your gonna have to take a chance and put yourself out there. Goodluck!
    • Re: Feeling Rather Lonely

      Ha we're a lot alike. I haven't heard the proverb before, but I've always tried to handle situations at least a bit like that. Honestly, you're not going to make a close friend really fast. I mean, if it helps, people bond quicker when they experience moments of intense feeling, usually distress, together, but other than that I'd have to say good friendships take time. :( I recommend talking to people online (as you seem to be doing...) and maybe trying to be more social? I totally get it though, if you can't/don't want to be, because I have the same problem - I can't/won't be more social, but I want/need at least A good friend. :/ Best of luck