I started a new school year this week and although I've made friends with some old aquaintences, I still feel horribly alone. I'm very independent and really don't care much for people. Most of the time I'd prefer people mind their own business. But, being human, I still need a friend to talk to at the end of the day.
During lunch I sit with a group of people I love very much. But often I don't talk. So then with a few classes I talk or sit near people I know and we have class together. We say hi, and that's usually it. Being near them makes me happy, but not satisfied.
But, like I said earlier, I just want to finish the school day and have a friend there to talk to. Prepare for the cliche... I am feeling quite empty inside. Perhaps I bring this upon myself for not liking to text or talk very often, but shy and independent people get lonely eventually.
I had some nasty depression over the summer and last school year. A couple of times since I was a tween my mom considered getting me counseling. I've done school counseling in the past (even when I was about eight... I had issues with school) for shyness/lack of social-bility and they don't do very much. Overall, my happiness level has been at an all time high (perhaps since I was a little kid), but I still feel very lonely.
I find I am very happy when I have a male friend to talk to. All I require/want is one person. I have never had a boyfriend so I don't know how I would do with one. I'd like one for support and such but I don't know if I'm capable or sane enough to provide my half of the relationship at this point. I go by the Swedish proverb, "Give me love when I deserve it the least, because that's when I need it the most", but I don't know if anyone else does.
I am not sure how this is a solvable solution, but I really needed to get this down. I apologize if this is in the wrong forum as well.
During lunch I sit with a group of people I love very much. But often I don't talk. So then with a few classes I talk or sit near people I know and we have class together. We say hi, and that's usually it. Being near them makes me happy, but not satisfied.
But, like I said earlier, I just want to finish the school day and have a friend there to talk to. Prepare for the cliche... I am feeling quite empty inside. Perhaps I bring this upon myself for not liking to text or talk very often, but shy and independent people get lonely eventually.
I had some nasty depression over the summer and last school year. A couple of times since I was a tween my mom considered getting me counseling. I've done school counseling in the past (even when I was about eight... I had issues with school) for shyness/lack of social-bility and they don't do very much. Overall, my happiness level has been at an all time high (perhaps since I was a little kid), but I still feel very lonely.
I find I am very happy when I have a male friend to talk to. All I require/want is one person. I have never had a boyfriend so I don't know how I would do with one. I'd like one for support and such but I don't know if I'm capable or sane enough to provide my half of the relationship at this point. I go by the Swedish proverb, "Give me love when I deserve it the least, because that's when I need it the most", but I don't know if anyone else does.
I am not sure how this is a solvable solution, but I really needed to get this down. I apologize if this is in the wrong forum as well.
time has fallen asleep in the afternoon sunshine