Family outside of my family... (LONG)

    • Family outside of my family... (LONG)

      So in grade 11/12 I had a bestfriend...slowly we drifted and I started hanging out with her younger sister Morgan more. I gradually over time pretty much lived there. They were like a family to me. I'd do everything with them, they included me in things, I babysat the little kids who by the way saw me as an older sister. Her 1 yr old brother knew my name, knew which shoes were mine, would fall asleep on me. Her dad was like a 2nd father to me, he even saw me as jusy another one of his daughters. I could tell him anything, he said they'd always be there, he said nothing would push them away and that they werent like everybody else. He was one of those people who puts others before himself, like the night I didnt want to be home so I snuck out at 2am and he met me halfway. Or when I thought suicide was an option and he did everything he could to keep me alive. He even went as far as letting my parents know because he didnt know what else to do. At the time I was upset but i've now realized he didnt have bad intentions. And even though he's not speaking to me right now Im thankful for that cause he saved my life. I think all of this is what hurts the most now thay their not talking to me, I honestly thought they cared. Even though I do know deep down they still do. Her mom well she was like a mom to me, she'd give me advice and lecture me when I did something wrong. So what, yeah we've all had our ups and downs.

      So about 2 months ago they had all decided not to talk to me. Me being the pessimist person I am assumed the worst that they didn't care. Actually even before everything blew up in my face I felt this way.So I freaked out. Got told to stop texting them. Maybe sent them a few prank calls from a website thinger. The first one was hilarious. Maybe not the other 3. Half the things I said and did were for attention because of how I felt, but they didn't care to listen to how I felt. So of course her dad ends up calling the cops.

      I was pretty rattled. Cops pretty much gave me a warning and were really understanding. My mom wasn't to impressed with them though. Like after everything we've been through and done for each other apparently that's so much easier than talking to me like a human being. Oh and did I mention he told the cops I'm suicidal. So about a week later I got my mom to go get my stuff from their house since I wasn't in the right state of mind. They ended up giving her all the bottles of tylenol and her mom pretty much told my mom how they just wanted some family time. Yeah Morgans mom told me that, after they started ignoring me, like that much I understand.

      Then about a week later Morgan convinces me to go over there and try to talk to her parents. So I go over there and apologize and try to tell them how I felt, her dad didnt say anything or even look at me, her mom pretty much told me how I wasn't sorry and how I could be friends with Morgan but things won't be going back to how they were. If I really wasn't sorry I wouldnve gone over there to apologize. I ended up smashing my old phone and iPod.

      After this Morgan would only really talk to me whenever she saw me at the park which made me feel even worse. And at this time it had been about a month already and her older sister was still talking about me. Who btw, moved out of her house 4 months ago and winded up prego. So pretty much after that I stopped trying to talk to Morgan, and blocked Amy and just kinda left things be.

      I had seen her mom a few times and she attempted to lecture me. Like a few weeks ago morgan had asked if she could go on a walk with me but her dad said no cause apparently I had still been talking shit about them :/ which honestly I hadn't been. And shortly after that I seen her mom and she told me that apparently I was :/ which I hadn't and that it had to stop and that she didn't hate me and that she just doesn't like how I dealt with things.

      So its now been 2 months. I've still been leaving things be and NOT talking about anybody, and noticed this week that her dad unblocked me on Facebook. Kinda curious as to why. As much as I miss them all a ton im not about to give in, I gave up trying awhile ago when they decided they didn't want me in their life's. Oh and yesterday Morgans parents let her go on a walk with me, I was kinda shocked lol.

      So its been 2 months and I still miss them and it'll be awhile before I get over it. Like I never thought it'd be worse than a break up, well its like 2747472727372x worse. And itll be awhile before i can really open up to anybody again. But I've kinda just learned to live with it though. I have very little hope thing will ever be the same, and if they do it'll take alot. I never thought id be starting college without them by my side, the thought is scary :( oh and i especially miss the kids like crazy.