I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

    • I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      Sorry to bother y'all but I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know If I'm depressed or what and I'm too afraid to ask for help because I'm afraid that people will think I just want attention. I have taken tests online and most of them say that I need serious help immediately but those tests aren't a professional diagnosis so I really don't want to believe them. I notice that there's a patteren with how I think. I will have a really high period where I feel like I'm on top of the world. I feel beautiful, confident, and wanted. Those periods will last from a day to a whole week, but after that I end up crashing hard and its never fun. I feel worthless, ugly, useless, stupid, broken, unwanted, annoying, and plenty of other bad things. I feel like no one wants me and like I just make everyone's life harder or I that I annoy them. Most of my high periods last about a day or two but occaisionally they will last a week. When I lose all confidence it normally lasts for about the rest of the month and then I will slowly start to build my confidence back up only to fall again. I know its not just a period/hormonal thing because in 2009 I had some hormone balance issues so my doctor completly took away my period and I havent had one since then. Before my freshmen year I wasnt like this. I was almost always happy and super confident but when I got into highschool I was bullied really badly by my so called "friends". I never told any school officals or my parents or really any of my real friends because the girl that bullied me really made me believe that I would just be a bother or a problem to who ever I told. She soon got all of her friends to bully me too and I would go home mentally abused and with physical cuts and bruises all over my body everyday. Last year (my sophomore year) I never had any classes with her so I never saw her. Sorry for the whole sob story, but I don't know if that is why I feel this way. I really want to know what is wrong with me. Just yesterday I was feeling on top of the world and happy with myself. Then earlier today I had to hide in my room while I broke down crying so my parents wouldn't find out and now I feel like I am just on top of the world. I don't know what is wron with me, if anyone has any ideas or advice please help me. Its the begining of my junior year and I don't want to go through another year feeling like this so please help!
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      I have depression and aspergers syndrome so I think I might be able to help you. It sounds like you may have bipolar, as the main symptom is mood swings from happy to depressed. There's an NHS (National Health Service) depression test online that you can take that is close to a professional diagnosis. If it says you are likely to be depressed then you should get a doctors appointment and see your GP for advice. There they will refer you to someone who will help you out with minor counselling, if they think you need help. Don't worry, it will al be okay. If you do need any more adice feel free to ask me.
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      You might simply be going through an existential crisis or depression. I am feeling the same way right now and have been trying to deal with it for a while. If you think it is necessary to go for the doctor for advice that's not a bad idea. Or just try and talk to someone about how you are feeling. Message me if you want, I am open to discussing anything you want, whether it be as serious as depression or otherwise.
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      Hey,
      Don't worry about this, it doesn't mean you aren't normal. A lot of teenagers go through depression and you shouldn't have to hide it. I did for almost three years and by that time it was almost too late to be helped. I saw two different doctors, five counsellors and a psychiatrist. I am now happy and healthy and still recovering.
      It sounds to me like you have bipolar which would explain your extreme mood swings, from being on a high to depressed almost instantly. You shouldn't feel embarassed about this - try going to your GP (doctor), they will be able to assess you and get you the right medication to kick start your recovery. They'll also be able to refer you to a specialist to try and get you some professional help - they're all lovely people and deal with this kind of thing every day so don't feel ashamed. You aren't wasting anyones time.
      Although it could just be a hormonal thing (i know you've said everything has been removed but it's not unknown for the body to still release hormones which would make you feel this way) - it's better to be safe than sorry.
      Good luck and if you need anything please don't hesitate to contact me.
      I have been through this too.
      Lorah
      x
      [CENTER][SIZE=4]- Stay Strong -[/SIZE][/CENTER]
      [CENTER][SIZE=3]love is louder than the pressure[/SIZE][/CENTER]
      [CENTER][SIZE=3]to be perfect[/SIZE][/CENTER]
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"

      "It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.

      A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!'

      "It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.



      Here's the truth no one told you, even the stone at the river's edge experiences inevitable change, the warmth from the sun, the coolness of the snow, the erosion of the water. Nothing remains constant and we must always be prepared to adapt to the current conditions.

      You are not broken, there isn't anything to fix, and no one can help you. Life isn't stable, death isn't avoidable, friends will come and go and you too will feel unendurable pain.

      But in this you can find a harmony, like a piece of music, you do not question why it is a note was left out of a certain piece of music, by the artist selecting a certain note, he rejected all the others. And in this very logic, you must not question why you are feeling down in order to get a response, but you must question it in order to understand that there is really nothing you can do about it. Your emotions are an illusionary hand grasping at smoke, I suggest you treat them that way.
      [CENTER]:love1:
      Erykah Badu - I Want You
      2:51

      [/CENTER]

      Post was edited 3 times, last by Elija ().

    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      Well, this may be late but idc. seek sum adult help. mother or ANY trusted adult. older sis is good too. try-just TRY- to find a positive light in this. do wat i do in my english class every friday: write anything-ANYTHING- that im grateful for. it really does work. and put it sumwhere ull see often. dont go to the doctors-theyll give u a random antidepressant and ull get addicted which will make ur life even worse. as for that girl, if u see her STAY AWAY. best of luck. God bless.
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      Some horribly pretentious pricks here. They know who they are.

      Anyway, you could get tested for bipolar- if anything just to put your mind at rest. Once you are pretty sure there's nothing wrong, you'll begin to feel better. We all have that tiny hypochondriac in us that won't rest until he/she's been proven to be worried about nothing. If there IS a problem, they do have meds for most things- its not a case of whether they have the right pills, but whether they have a successful diagnosis. Just be as brutally honest as you can be with yourself and with the doctor if you decide to go.
      If the bullying has stopped, it may well get better on its own. If you can think about the reasons why you feel so good at the moment, you can retain that feeling for a little longer.
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      ZephyrN wrote:

      Some horribly pretentious pricks here. They know who they are.

      Anyway, you could get tested for bipolar- if anything just to put your mind at rest. Once you are pretty sure there's nothing wrong, you'll begin to feel better. We all have that tiny hypochondriac in us that won't rest until he/she's been proven to be worried about nothing. If there IS a problem, they do have meds for most things- its not a case of whether they have the right pills, but whether they have a successful diagnosis. Just be as brutally honest as you can be with yourself and with the doctor if you decide to go.
      If the bullying has stopped, it may well get better on its own. If you can think about the reasons why you feel so good at the moment, you can retain that feeling for a little longer.


      No. Drugging someone is never the right thing. Call it pretentious but it makes more sense than just doping people.
      [CENTER]:love1:
      Erykah Badu - I Want You
      2:51

      [/CENTER]
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      Yeah, I was on a medication that made me depressed, and that is depression that you described. You need help, talk to a parent about getting counseling but do it privately so they don't think you're trying to get attention.

      Also, look up absurdism, it helped me feel better when I was in a bad period.
    • Re: I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way?

      It's great that you're opening up about this here, but you need to tell someone who can actively help you. I know talking to your parents can be tough in situations like this, so perhaps talk to a counsellor or a GP. A GP won't necessarily put you on meds if they don't think that's the best solution. They'll most likely refer you for counselling or CBT to help you figure out why you feel the way you do.

      Good luck, and feel free to talk to any of us about this :)