Do I dump her? D;

    • Do I dump her? D;

      Hi guys. Been going out with my girlfriend for 7 months, and it has gone pretty great. She's my first girlfriend, and first girl i've had sex with. I'm 15. I have a lot of feelings for her, and she is a fantastic girlfriend. However now that it's hitting me that this has become a long term relationship, I'm starting to ask myself questions.... I know for a fact that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. She's great, but not happening in the long run.

      She is also cute and pretty, and I love her, but I do find myself wanting to have sex with other girls often recently. I would NEVER even think of cheating, but the urge is still there :/. I know that this won't be the only girl I sleep with in my life, and although I'm for the most part content with our relationship right now I know that it'll fade at some point, and I will have to break up with her. or Vice Versa. We are just too different.
      Also, in terms of attractiveness, I know I'm gonna sound like a megadouche but there are sexier chicks out there. She has no curves, and sex isn't that awesome. It's def not just her, but something about it doesn't click. I'd go into details but I think this ain't the place xD PLUS, we never have sex. I can barely spend time with her that's not us sitting right in front of her parents, so we never get any intimate time.
      Although so far I've only complained about her looks while and the lack of sex, but while I do consider that a long term problem, I have other reasons for not wanting to spend the rest of my life with her that I need not discuss, because they are concrete in my mind. (Plus most of them are pretentious sounding).
      Anyway, what should I do? Do i break up with her now, or wait til it fades naturally. Am i fucked up for wanting to have sex with other girls? IF I break up with her, how should I handle it? I still care about her and don't want her to get hurt (although I know that it's kind of impossible for her not to). SO yea. (Y):rolleyes::wideeyed::eek1::mask::skeptical: love yaa guys :3
    • Re: Do I dump her? D;

      What I'm getting from this is that you don't want to be restricted by this one girl. You've found this wonderful thing called sex and so there is a natural urge there to explore that new avenue. It feels like your getting a bit anxious now about the relationship. You want it to go away, not the girl necessarily, but you don't like the limitations that this current relationship is imposing on you. So, I would suggest that you follow yourself that is saying that you want more fun. You want to broaden you horizon so to speak. So you can force yourself to wait the relationship out and cut it off from nutrition until it shrivels up and breaks off from you, or you can gently pry it off and then you're free. Which would you rather?
    • Re: Do I dump her? D;

      Break up with her now. How do you know it's gonna fade out? If you keep carrying on a relationship where you don't really care (if looks is one of the main reasons you feel like this then you don't care), you're giving her false hope that there's relationship there and she could start taking it seriously. Break up with her now, not later, so doesn't get too hurt. Then she can move on without feeling like she's invested a lot of her time and energy in a relationship that died long ago.
    • Re: Do I dump her? D;

      Nick, could you differentiate between the two?

      And something I should clarify: I haven't been "using" her for sex, I actually had tons of feelings for her which is why i went into the relationship (i'd use the word love, but you'd probably bash me for it). Now i just think I'm kind of slowly losing feelings... AND that's not unnatural right? That's what happens in relationships, people lose feelings for eachother. :/

      And the reasons I don't want to marry her aren't entirely about her; I just don't want to spend the rest of my life with the 'first girl'. Like someone posted, eventually I'm going to get really tired and want to experiment to see what it's like, and whether that's now or 15 years later when we're married and have kids, it's gonna happen. That's just me. All I'm trying to do here is think what the best is for her and for me.

      Cause I could wait 6+ more months until she's (probably) even more attached, and I'm just so out of it and annoyed I have to dump her, and she'll be devastated, or I can do it in the next few months. Plus, I have a feeling she won't lose feelings towards me/break up with me, because i think she knows I AM the best she could possibly do in the field of men (everything except for how much I love her, which other guys could def beat me at). Yes, that's narcissistic, but it's true.
    • Re: Do I dump her? D;

      Don't think with your dick. Think with your heart.
      If you like her, stay with her.
      You know what? miracles can happen. My grand parents know and love each other since 1961. They were 17 at the time, first love thing and all too. I suck at calculus, but I think it's a pretty long relationship. You do the math. Whatever.
      You see? a relationship can go on forever IF you're made for each other. And as long as you DO have feelings for her, do not break up. Wait a bit and see how things evolve.
      As for me, I've love the same girl for 3 years, and we have a pretty stable relationship.
      But after all, it's your girlfriend, so no one has the right to tell you what to do except your heart. Do the right choice.

      ---------- Post added at 12:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:06 AM ----------

      oh and don't think about the number of girls. think about the feelings. it helps sometimes.
    • Re: Do I dump her? D;

      Speaking from a female point of view, when a girl has sex, a hormone gets released in her brain making her love the guy deeply and more intimately. If you don't want her to get hurt, then I would let it fade. It's natural to want to have sex with other girls, don't worry. I mean like, have you ever heard of a bachelor party? they go to strip clubs! but honestly, It will scar her for life if you guys do the deed and then you end it... speaking from experience I used to have trust issues because of something just like that. But another thing is, if you don't love her and she loves you, that's not really fair. I don't think this will be a forever relationship, I mean come on you are fifteen! When I was fifteen I thought I was going to marry this guy I'd been dating for months, but you know feelings change we both lost interest and although at first it was hard to accept we lost that bond, eventually we both accepted it and now we're friends :) so the long and short of it is think of her and her feelings, but also remember that this isn't for the rest of your life. If you're just considering it, keep it to yourself for awhile. if you can't wait to get away from her, maybe just take some time to breathe. you might feel like this :hugs: Guys need space more than girls and she might not get that. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel (leave some of it out) I'm sure she doesn't think you're forever either! I mean you are still young! Enjoy your life and remember to have fun, go ahead and fantasize about girls, just remember she's yours and you can't break her.
      [COLOR="Magenta"][FONT="Impact"][SIZE="4"]☮☮☮Hope this helps♥ ♥ ♥[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]