Struggling to live at home

    • Struggling to live at home

      I am 16 and live with my step mother and her partner. My step mum and I have had a bad relationship for around 3 years. Last year we moved 40 miles from the town where I was born and raised to a new town to start a new life with her partner in his house. The only other person in the house is the partners son who I get along okay with. He is 22. Living with my step mother has become unbearable we fight constantly and when we don't fight there is so much tension between us that its uncomfortable. I literally feel useless and unloved. Nothing but a failure in her eyes. Please help I need advice on what to do.
    • Re: Struggling to live at home

      ^ you didnt read it, person is 16

      Well why do you have such a bad relationship with her? maybe you could try to talk it out with her, I dont think she liked to fight all the time too right.

      If talking isnt the solution try to avoid the fights and just do the things you have to do, meanwhile have some fun with her partners son and just keep it up there. In a few years you can live on your own and you wont have this problem anymore.
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    • Re: Struggling to live at home

      Fights can escalate from things as simple as a cushion being on the floor and as she has OCD this is a huge irritation for her. So she goes "I'm sick of people making this house a pig sty" so I apologise for not realising the cushion is on the floor and attempt to pick it up and she will retaliate with "you're always sorry and don't bother now picking it up just to prove a point!" And then I will get silent treatment for however long. Sometimes she can be offish with me for a month onwards.
    • Re: Struggling to live at home

      That sounds exactly like my mum, and tbh sometimes I can see her point. If she's working hard to keep the house in a good state and the slightest thing is out of place then i'm "ungrateful" for not keeping it immaculate. Okay, a lot of the time it's a big exaggeration but there really are little things you can do to stop her getting stressy - tidy up after yourself. Just stick it out because there's probably things that are worrying her and she lets it out through getting angry or passive aggressive towards you. It might be worth asking her what's stressing her out? She may not realise that she's being over the top nor that it's having an effect on you.
    • Re: Struggling to live at home

      try hang on in there as long as you can but once you think you really cant just try get a job and save money and try figure out a way out, there are many ways in which you can be independant.. it would be difficult but it would definetly be worth it.. maybe try move in an apartment with people around our age though like ppl in their late teens and early 20s :)
    • Re: Struggling to live at home

      This may be a tough question, but can I ask why you live with your step-mother and her partner rather than your parents?

      Sorry if it's a touchy subject.
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    • Re: Struggling to live at home

      I believe you're mature and old enough to diffuse situations before they get heated. If you feel that an argument is starting then just keep calm and ignore her. Walk away. If she says something like "don't walk away", tell her calmly that you do not want to argue anymore so you're trying to diffuse the situation. If that doesn't seem to work, then it may help you to write a letter to her explaining how you feel if you feel it'll be hard to approach her. If you really can't bare it then you should maybe look at getting housing benefits or something or just working a lot to save up to move out. Maybe move out with someone else to reduce the costs. You're in a sticky situation so getting professional help may help and they may be able to put you in a childrens hostel or something if you don't mind that.

      ---------- Post added at 09:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:50 PM ----------

      and I'm sorry to hear about your situation and that your mother is dead and that your dad left you! Maybe you could try and find him and rekindle your relationship? But if you feel that he had no excuse to just walk out, he was very selfish to do so and you feel he won't have any kind of remorse then you shouldn't bother.
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