Once, it was a few weeks after Meeckal took his life. I couldn't handle being so empty. Everything was black. Nobody understood me (apart from my current girlfriend) and I couldn't take life being so horrible. I'd never felt so bad in my entire life. It was a struggle to go to school and face everyone who was so fucking happy, and I thought they were sick. "How could anyone be so happy when my best friend just killed himself?" was a question I asked myself quite regularly.
And the 2nd, was because I get seasonal depression. Winter is a long, dark time every year for me. And since Meeckal died it's been worse. My lows a lower and my highs are lower and less frequent. I was convinced that I didn't exist. Mentally sick, nobody cared about me. And it turns out I not only have seasonal depression, but split personality too. I didn't know what I was doing, pretty much a walking shell. I don't remember a lot, apart from being extremely scared all the time.
Unless you have been there, you seriously have NO IDEA what it's like to want to kill yourself.
And the 2nd, was because I get seasonal depression. Winter is a long, dark time every year for me. And since Meeckal died it's been worse. My lows a lower and my highs are lower and less frequent. I was convinced that I didn't exist. Mentally sick, nobody cared about me. And it turns out I not only have seasonal depression, but split personality too. I didn't know what I was doing, pretty much a walking shell. I don't remember a lot, apart from being extremely scared all the time.
Unless you have been there, you seriously have NO IDEA what it's like to want to kill yourself.
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[SIZE=2]It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.[/SIZE][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.[/SIZE][/SIZE]
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