Once, it was a few weeks after Meeckal took his life. I couldn't handle being so empty. Everything was black. Nobody understood me (apart from my current girlfriend) and I couldn't take life being so horrible. I'd never felt so bad in my entire life. It was a struggle to go to school and face everyone who was so fucking happy, and I thought they were sick. "How could anyone be so happy when my best friend just killed himself?" was a question I asked myself quite regularly.

And the 2nd, was because I get seasonal depression. Winter is a long, dark time every year for me. And since Meeckal died it's been worse. My lows a lower and my highs are lower and less frequent. I was convinced that I didn't exist. Mentally sick, nobody cared about me. And it turns out I not only have seasonal depression, but split personality too. I didn't know what I was doing, pretty much a walking shell. I don't remember a lot, apart from being extremely scared all the time.

Unless you have been there, you seriously have NO IDEA what it's like to want to kill yourself.

Jia-Ren-Qu wrote:

I've lost 2 immediate members because of it.:mad:

I lost 2 cousins to it.

Parents are worse.:(

hXc wrote:

Once, it was a few weeks after Meeckal took his life. I couldn't handle being so empty. Everything was black. Nobody understood me (apart from my current girlfriend) and I couldn't take life being so horrible. I'd never felt so bad in my entire life. It was a struggle to go to school and face everyone who was so fucking happy, and I thought they were sick. "How could anyone be so happy when my best friend just killed himself?" was a question I asked myself quite regularly.

And the 2nd, was because I get seasonal depression. Winter is a long, dark time every year for me. And since Meeckal died it's been worse. My lows a lower and my highs are lower and less frequent. I was convinced that I didn't exist. Mentally sick, nobody cared about me. And it turns out I not only have seasonal depression, but split personality too. I didn't know what I was doing, pretty much a walking shell. I don't remember a lot, apart from being extremely scared all the time.

Unless you have been there, you seriously have NO IDEA what it's like to want to kill yourself.

Yes well you're not the one who had to hear it or know what it's like to be truly alone. So please don't go there.

Jia-Ren-Qu wrote:

Parents are worse.:(

I'm sorry

Bleh I hate them so it doesn't matter.

I'm sorry Jia. *Hugs*

yeah I've cut, I'm deffanatly not proud of it. I was trying to cope with the loss of my sister she o.d. I'm still trying to cope

hXc wrote:

I'm sorry Jia. *Hugs*

-Hug-..:(



That's horrible as well.

You don't need them anyway.
You're obviously going to be much more successful than both of your parents.

Yes.

Actually.
I'm not proud to say that..
I actually cut myself once.
But it was totally on accident, I was trying to do tricks with a knife.

MaYaNk RoCkS wrote:

They used to cut because or relationship problems? Will cutting your hand make the other person come running for you? No! That person will say..oh my god what a retard. Might have sympathy for you but wont start going around with you.

Not only will they not come back to you.
They'll feel that they made a good decision.

Ouch.:(

Yeah, owwiee.

I heard about when you cut yourself if you do it sideways it's not as effective or if you do it down from your palm to up.:confused:

I've never tried to kill myself from it... I have been suicidal and I've tried to take an overdose before (which only made me be sick) I've only done it to get rid of anger/hatred/depression etc. and for the rush aswell.

I know suicide is selfish, but I was in such a state I wasn't even thinking clearly, I was only about 13 when I tried to overdose on sleeping pills. I just wasn't in the greatest state of mind.

This is what bullying does to people... especialy people who have found it hard to cope with anger/stress.

i've gotten papercuts before

as an excutter i want to say u people are so harsh sometimes u do it as a way to exsacpe mental pain if u cut for attenchen u are stupid but if u dont show ur cuts u try to hide them it may be wat u thought was the best soultion.. and byr saying their stupid for doing so it mentaly hurts them more forcing them to feel bad and want to cut again... they need suport not a lecture about how stupid it is.. also sometimes u do it to just see if u can feel and once u know u can feel it it gets addicting i have gone about 2 month sence i last cut .. my grandma died and i was questiong god al together and my friend(one of my best riends) said shit happens like he didnt even care i cryed my self to sleep and ended up taking a razor blade to my legs... its a bad choice but dont make people feel stupid for makeing it
u all have made mistakes how would u feel if everytime u did someone made u feel like a dumb peice of crap for it

Hardcore cutter.:eek: