17yrs old, commitment issues? Looking for similar experiences..

    • 17yrs old, commitment issues? Looking for similar experiences..

      I'm seventeen and currently in my second relationship. I ended my first relationship after 4 months because the guy was saying all these serious things about love and it was too much for me. But I am not a serial dater or anything like that, far from it.
      The guy I am with now and I liked each other for months before we started going out in September this year. He said I love you first, and i didn't say it back right away. I'm really picky on how loosely that word is used these days and I didn't want to say it if I didn't mean it. I'm not even that physically close with this guy, public displays of affection gross me out and I'm fairly inexperienced with intimacy. And now it's come to constant text messages that I ignore, him asking me to call him, and just never getting a break to just be by myself. It was so brilliant at first. The feelings i have for him are still there but should I feel like this? So claustrophobic in two out of two relationships? I know it's not much to go on and I'm only fairly young, but I'm starting to wonder if commitment is something that just doesn't work for me. If anyone experienced similar feelings, I would love to know..
    • Re: 17yrs old, commitment issues? Looking for similar experiences..

      your problem isn't commitment, it's breathing room. this guy is just being too pushy for your tastes when you need your space sometimes. It's actually a very common reason couples break up.

      a lot of people(including me) don't like PDA. i think a little bit is ok but if it lasts longer than 10 seconds get a room. it has to do with comfort level and your sense of morality.

      you are right about people throwing the word love around too much. it should be reserved for the right time. when you are young these guys may think its love but more likely they are just infatuated with you, or just want to get laid.

      sooo ya, it is completely normal to be 17 and not want a serious relationship, or to want your mate breathing down your neck, or be trying to get some in public.
    • Re: 17yrs old, commitment issues? Looking for similar experiences..

      I think at 17 there is nor "commitment problem".
      I understand you and I agree with endgame.
      Guy is being too pushy and too clingy. I think talking about liove and serious commitment would freak me out too if I was 17.
      You are ver young, it's normal you are not 100% sure you want to spend yoyur life with these guys. And if you are liek me, if words "I love you" actaully mean a lot to you, then you don't want to say them to every guy you meet.
      You'll see in few years (sooner or later) you'd be mature enough and ready to commit. Don't panic if you are not at 17, I think it's only normal.
    • Re: 17yrs old, commitment issues? Looking for similar experiences..

      I have actually experienced a similar situation like yours in my first relationship, which only lasted for six months. I'm in the same position as you and I thought it was commitment issues. Because my former girlfriend could stay beside me for the whole of the day in school, neglecting her own friends. I didn't get the space I want as well. Unless both parties come to an understanding, it's hard for the relationship to survive. You're 17 anyway, so it's still too early to worry.
      One day you'll find the guy who you will willingly commit to.
    • Re: 17yrs old, commitment issues? Looking for similar experiences..

      Sounds like your first guy was high maintenance and clingy, which isn't healthy for a relationship haha. Just be careful when you pick someone to date, you might discover that it's not the commitment you're having problems with, its that specific guy himself. Tell him you feel like he's drowning you.