I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

    • I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      My ex and I broke up early this year and despite it being on par with a fiasco we still remained very close. We hug every time we see each other even if five minutes later, still go to the movies, talk nearly every night on Facebook, go to each other whenever we have problem and just generally love to be around each other. I’ve been helping he struggle with her depression and an idiotic bastard of an ex-boyfriend ( Not me, her boyfriend before me) We watched the New Year’s Eve fireworks together on the waterfront. And while it’s been nearly a year since we broke up, I haven’t stopped feeling for her. Now I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me but I feel that I should tell her how I feel. This is what I plan to say.

      Tanika, I have never stopped caring about you, not for one moment. And I know you don’t feel the same way but I think you should know that I love you, I love you. I know you can’t see it but you’re just the most beautiful girl I have ever met, and I hope one day you see it too. I know you don’t feel the same and quite frankly, I don’t blame you but don’t think this changes how I’m going to act around you. I’m not going to try to be your boyfriend because that’s not what you want or need. What you need to for me to be what I have always been to you, your bestie.

      What do you think? And tips or advice would be greatly appreciated , thank you.
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      That's sweet though repeating I love you was a bit weird and you repeated about her not feeling the same way back. Maybe go over how you'd still want to be friends though if she doesn't want to be together again. Why did you break up anyway? If you cheated or was abusive then you shouldn't really hope for her back! :L same for if she cheated or abused you!
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      la rubia loca wrote:

      what is prolapse?
      is it like pro life?
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      Hann. wrote:

      That's sweet though repeating I love you was a bit weird and you repeated about her not feeling the same way back. Maybe go over how you'd still want to be friends though if she doesn't want to be together again. Why did you break up anyway? If you cheated or was abusive then you shouldn't really hope for her back! :L same for if she cheated or abused you!



      I would never dare to dream about cheating on her or abusing her. We broke up because she thought it would be best to stop it from going any further in case it ruins our friendship. And the second I love you is because of my speech. I talk with a lot of pauses and breaks so it's meant to go like "I love you [a three second break sounds about right] I...love you."
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      I hope you're not going into this expecting her to reciprocate the gesture or to get back together with you. No matter how you do it, you should prepare yourself for an indifferent response, even if its not like her to do so. You broke up for a reason, and an admission probably won't fix an ended relationship. Be optimistic, but expect the worst as well. It may be a bit awkward for her as well. If she left you because she was afraid that it would ruin your friendship, how would she feel when you admit that you love her? Of course, you could try and explain to her that you love her as a very close friend, though if that's the case, she may already know and need it not to be said. You need to be very careful about letting her know exactly what kind of love you mean.
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      Maybe you should tell her to sign up to this forum and perhaps come across your speech incidentally. Haha.

      Well, J, firstly, it's awesome that you and her are still hanging out closely. That's almost like a couple minus the making out etc. Watching fireworks together is romantic as hell.

      Continue helping her with her struggles and stay by her side. One day she might love you back for that. Don't harbour that motive though. Just support her whenever, give her some time, a couple of years maybe. One day she'll be ready for the relationship between you and her, well, if you would have feelings for her by then.
      "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven."
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      I'll give you a girl's perspective here. In all honesty, and of course this is MY thoughts, I don't know if she'll follow the same line of thought but anyway, if one of my male friends were to confess his love for me, even after I've made it clear a relationship isn't what I'd like, it would be the beginning of the end of our friendship for me. I couldn't handle it. It would be so uncomfortable for me, especially if I were to begin seeing someone else... I'd feel pretty guilty as well, because I'd always feel like I'm playing with their head unintentionally.
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      spacefunk wrote:

      I hope you're not going into this expecting her to reciprocate the gesture or to get back together with you. No matter how you do it, you should prepare yourself for an indifferent response, even if its not like her to do so. You broke up for a reason, and an admission probably won't fix an ended relationship.



      I don't expect us to get back together and I'm well aware of the risks I'm running by telling her this.
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      endgame wrote:

      OP: it's already clear that you have been friendzoned and that she does not want to cross that line with you. I wouldn't hope for anything more, she doesn't see you in that romantic light anymore. you break up with people for a reason. don't go opening old caskets.


      Things aren't that black and white. There are a lot of grey areas.
      But of course, if she made it extremely clear, then the answer prevails.
      "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven."
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      ztmj96 wrote:

      Things aren't that black and white. There are a lot of grey areas.
      But of course, if she made it extremely clear, then the answer prevails.



      No no no I'm not doing this to get back with her. I've accepted that it won't happen so I won't try to make it happen. I just want to tell her how I feel, not make her change her mind.
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      Megs wrote:

      I'll give you a girl's perspective here. In all honesty, and of course this is MY thoughts, I don't know if she'll follow the same line of thought but anyway, if one of my male friends were to confess his love for me, even after I've made it clear a relationship isn't what I'd like, it would be the beginning of the end of our friendship for me. I couldn't handle it. It would be so uncomfortable for me, especially if I were to begin seeing someone else... I'd feel pretty guilty as well, because I'd always feel like I'm playing with their head unintentionally.


      That ^
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      la rubia loca wrote:

      what is prolapse?
      is it like pro life?
    • Re: I'm going to tell my ex that I love her. Advice?

      OMG
      i have a guy bestfriend
      who i am currently having trouble with
      mixed feelings etc
      i think you should remove the part were you tell her
      you dont want to be her bf because
      truthfull girls get confused by this
      just add that if she doesnt want to then you
      are still gonna be her bestfriend for life!