I love him, but he doesn't feel the same

    • I love him, but he doesn't feel the same

      Hi everyone.
      Back in September, I moved into a shared house with three other people. Two of them I didn't know before, but there had always been chemistry between me and this other person. This other person and I have been close ever since we met. I can say that I've known him for about 6 months now, and seen him every day of those six months.
      He wanted a relationship with me at the start. We went on lots of dates and we were pretty much a couple but one night we got into a drunken fight which changed everything. I went on holiday and when I came back he didn't want to know.
      We have been 'friends' since then, we've spent every night together, and cuddled and slept together, as he lives in the room just next to mine.
      Just over a month ago I told him my true feelings. I said that I could'nt hold them back any more and that the reason I hadnt made room for anyone else was becuase no one compared to him and that I wanted to be with him, bascially.
      I was drunk and crying when I sent the text...and read the reply from him saying that he could'nt give me what I wanted and that he didn't know what else to say. I apologized instantly and said i hoped i had made things too awkward between us.
      When I got back after Christmas, it wasn't awkward at all. We continued to spend time together, and sleep together, and I could sense that he was starting to be himself around me. We did new things together. He'd text me all the time, and I genuinely felt (call me sad) that he'd realised how much he liked me, and that if we kept spending more time together, or that if i played slightly hard to get, he would want to be with me again.
      The last few days, he has been ignoring me, and I've over-heard him talking (quite loudly too) about a girl that he's been on several dates with and that he met for a coffee. He is also meeting her tonight for another date.
      When I heard this, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I have been crying all night and I can't seem to think about anything else! I literally do not know what to do. I'm so upset that he's chosen her over me, and if things progress between them, I literally do not know what I will do. All i want is for him to be happy, and i'm sure that she is lovely, but I can't help thinking that it should be me and him. He has become my best friend, my closest companion, but there is nothing that I can do. I can only watch as he gets closer to her.
      I see him every day, I hear him in the room next to me, everything is a constant reminder of when we were together...and it hurts so much.
      I don't think I can be friends with him when he's seeing other girls, yet we live in the same house. I've begun acting completely unlike myself for the last few months, its as if all of my actions have revolved around him, and I'm concerned for myself. I don't think talking to him would help as he already knows how I feel about him. The only other thing that I can think of would be to move out. But surely that's just running away from the situation? I just feel so confused right now, and any advice would be appreciated
    • Re: I love him, but he doesn't feel the same

      Moving out may not be such a bad idea if that's plausible for you right now, it's really not so much running from the situation as getting away from something that may hurt you more down the road then it does right now... If moving out isn't really an option or you really don't want to then try your best to let go of him and be happy for him (not an easy taste, I know, but it gets easier as you go alone if you try hard). Maybe try having out with other people or meeting new guys (even if you don't want to start dating again right now it's a good reminder that there are other good guys out there for when you do :) )
      [CENTER]And in no way is it worth
      Losing everything I am including these words

      [/CENTER]
    • Re: I love him, but he doesn't feel the same

      That's not running away from the situation, that's getting a fresh start somewhere else. Being around this guy right now is detrimental to your mental health, you still feel for him and to see him day in, day out with other girls while ignoring you is not going to have a positive effect on you. you need to move away and break away from him very soon. as they say, out of sight, out of mind. you need a fresh start and to start seeing more and more guys,

      this guy seems like for a bit he was using you to fill the gap and wanted to be nothing more than friends/friends with benefits. and now that he doesn't need your attention, he doesn't come around. as harsh as it sounds
    • Re: I love him, but he doesn't feel the same

      endgame wrote:

      That's not running away from the situation, that's getting a fresh start somewhere else. Being around this guy right now is detrimental to your mental health, you still feel for him and to see him day in, day out with other girls while ignoring you is not going to have a positive effect on you. you need to move away and break away from him very soon. as they say, out of sight, out of mind. you need a fresh start and to start seeing more and more guys,

      this guy seems like for a bit he was using you to fill the gap and wanted to be nothing more than friends/friends with benefits. and now that he doesn't need your attention, he doesn't come around. as harsh as it sounds


      That's basically what I was trying to say, he just explained it better haha :)
      [CENTER]And in no way is it worth
      Losing everything I am including these words

      [/CENTER]