Paranoid? Or reason to be concerned?

    • Paranoid? Or reason to be concerned?

      Well me & my partner have been together for two years, on & off but have been on track for the last year now. We have had a child, quite early in our relationship but it wasn't planned but was all worth it. (Please don't judge)

      Basically, before we had a baby, we had a few problems in our relationship, we was seeing each-other for about 8 months before we got together, and hanged around in a large group of friends.

      Before we got together my close-mate basically said to me ''You're out of order, you knew I liked her before you'' Yet this is not true, I didn't really care in the first place, she liked me, I liked her. She had no feelings for him.

      Throughout those months, and the first few months we were together he would keep messaging her over facebook, saying that he loves her, wants to be with her and she'd have to keep putting him down as nice as she could. And I fell out with him. After a few personal problems in our relationship we broke up.

      Although we spoke still, she'd tell me how this guy would invite her and a few of my old friends (btw the group of friends I was hanging around with at the time fell out of with me and didn't want to know me since I got with her) over to his every friday for a drink, and every time he'd always try flirting with her, and then we got back together.

      After a few months passed, this guy moved on from my girlfriend and started telling her sister that he liked her, and wanted to be with her instead. And she was in a relationship as-well and her partner was also effected and frustrated with him.

      So then we found out we was having a baby together, we got back together and solved our differences and have been strong since.

      I made up with this guy, and we all started speaking again. but lately, my girlfriend has him on bb and they speak a lot. she tells me they are close mates and thats how far as it goes, but I know that his starting it all over again. I've started to not go to bed when my girlfriend does because she goes to bed early lately and a few times I've come in and caught her talking to him. I found messages like '';) xx'' from him and every message he sends he sends with two kisses at the end, constant winks etc. Me and my girlfriend sat down together one night and spoke all night about this and how I felt and she pretty much made it clear to me that she is in no way interested in him, and see him as a gay best friend.

      But this guy is desperate, he has never had a girlfriend, but has slept with girls before. but everytime he comes round me and my partners now on a friday, I will catch him looking at my girlfriend, attempting to flirt, and he even messages her and not me whenever he wants to get ahold of us.

      This guy was a real close mate of mine before but now I am very not sure what to think of him (creepy, sly, backstabbing)

      I don't have many friends but now I'm considering even if I want my girlfriend being friends with him anymore because of how I feel. I know my girlfriend would never cheat on me, especially with him.

      Although judging looks isn't a good thing, he isn't that good looking and she explained to me how much she has never been attracted to him.

      Should I TRUST this guy and my girlfriend talking or should I have reason of concern? I love her, and I know she values her friendship with him, but I also feel like he might see it different and to be honest I don't want my girlfriend being lied to about being friends when really he is just drolling.
    • Re: Paranoid? Or reason to be concerned?

      Your girlfriend is still at the "girlfriend" status when you both have a child already?

      Anyways, that guy is a total ___________. (Insert your own synonym for "douche"/'jerk")
      Don't trust that guy. He's not even your friend. Your girlfriend seems to enjoy the attention he's giving her, from what you said above. So just make it clear to your girlfriend that you would like him to stay away from your girlfriend, or tell your girlfriend that you don't feel safe with him hanging around. Don't be demanding though. See what she says.
      "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven."
    • Re: Paranoid? Or reason to be concerned?

      one rule my father always told me when I started to date was to never bring your girl around your friends, because at that moment they stop being friends and become rivals. be wary of this dude and set the tone. tell him to fuck off, give him the stink eye, talk to your girl about it. show your displeasure about those two being together in anyway way that is not acceptable. but also remember that you can't control all of her actions, if she is going to cheat she is going to cheat. your realtionship has been on/off which is not a good sign. but having a kid you have both had your share of troubles.