I fell in love again. I fell so fast and hit the ground running, I've known him just over 2 months, he's already helped me kick smoking meth and redefined my life, a knight of lifes silver lining. My last boyfriend, kevin, I never met in real life, he was 26, I loved him more then I thought I could love anyone but he never came to see me, stint after stint in mental wards and coke, meth, heroin binge after binge he remained a phantom of text. Two years we were together before I left him for My Beloved, it was so heart breaking, his name is still tattooed on my wrist. I fell to My Beloved for support, Kevin was the entirety of my support system and My Beloved rushed to fill the void as he left my life. I now live with him, we spend every waking minute together and fall asleep in eachothers arms at night, he drives me to my foster home every night so they dont report me missing, and drives me right back to his apartment downtown after theyve seen my face. I'm only alone when I lock the bathroom door, when i go out for a smoke, we are addicted to eachother and it's starting to feel unhealthy. He's twenty seven, I am fifteen, and we both have our mental traumas, I am diagnosed with post trauamtic stress disorder and there are more then one of me inside my body (my case) and he nurtures and love them all but when he leaves I crumple worse then I have ever before, I cant be alone for more then an hour, I've abandoned all my friends, I go nowhere without him and he gets upset when I try to leave. All day we smoke pot, He buys a new ounce every week or so, he buys me smokes every time I run out, clothes food, restaurnts, a new phone, he'll blow a hundred bucks in one store then move to the next for me and he expects nothing in return, I rely on him for everything everyday, and it's starting to make me feel unhealthy, vetted, like a sick child in a hospital, yet still loved and soothed, like my life is a perfect dream. I'm scared, I feel like I'm going to wake up eventually and realise we were a mistake, and fall to pieces the minute hes not there. If he stops loving me or I see a side I can't handle, how do I support myself? How do I secure myself again? I feel like theres no going back, I have to make this work or I'm ruiend, I feel pressured, anxiou, it's ruining me... help?