What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

    • What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      Is it an art that you would learn -- to "reject" people who show romantic interest in you without giving offense?

      If you were a girl (even better if you are) and you were interested in me -- a polite, chivalrous, good-humored, reserved but talkative guy, ambitious but not narrow-visioned, opened minded, intelligent, exotically cute (:D) -- what would be the absolute worst way to find out from me that your feelings aren't reciprocated?

      If I'm not interested in a relationship with you, how should I let you know that without coming off sounding like a jerk?


      Also... you're flirting with me and it's very obvious to me even though I pretend like I'm clueless about it :)

    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      You sound just a tiny bit full of yourself, lol but I've been in the situation many times before when someone really likes you and you don't feel the same. Stop pretending you're clueless, do not whatsoever flirt with this person, just tell him/her you're not interested in them as anything other than a friend. No matter what you say if they really like you they'll be hurt, but if you wait it out they'll become even more attached to you and will be 10 times more hurt when you decide to tell the truth. So do it now, get it over with and maybe you can maintain a good friendship with them afterwards.
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    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      You forgot to include "arrogant" ;D But really, I'm a girl, but I've been in this boat quite a few times, so I know how itfeels..I mean, you really don't want this person to think you're interested because then they'll be ready to "make a move" thinking you like then back even though you really don't, so it's even HARDER to let them down! This mught seem horrible of me, but I kind of let them know before it gets to that point. For example, I'll act like I don't notice what they're doing, I act boring, and basically just try to make myself seem uninteresting, so they'll leave me alone. It allows you to avoid having to outright tell them you don't have the same feelings, and THEY'LL be the ones that just give up on you. It's worked for me, haha :)

    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      Don't flirt. Telling them is optional, I suppose, but the most important thing is not to flirt. Try not to go out one on one with them either.

      Alternatively, you COULD lead them on and not make any moves, and eventually they get bored and find somebody new. Note that this works only 70% of the time, and the other 30% is usually akin to nuclear fallout. (basically, if you were thinking of doing that, DON'T)

    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      Honestly it really seems to be different from girl to girl whether you're leading them on or not.. I've had girls think i'm leading them on just because I hung out with them once.. No flirting done or anything. I just hang with girls as friends a lot.. But honestly, if I was girl, I would say you would be leading me on if you flirted with me. Just don't flirt back and I think you will be fine... As long as they aren't crazy :o

    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      So ... it didn't go the way I wanted to but I think it was for the better. Over dinner, her roommate just popped the idea out there "<Her roommate, my admirer> thinks you're cute" ... just randomly and I pretty much went on the defensive, giving a surprised look.

      I wasn't romantically interested in her roommate so I introduced an auxiliary "perfect" girl ("The girl that I'm interested in is like ...") and mentioned as best I could that her roommate just wasn't it.

      I'm pretty sure she relayed the message to her roommate and it seems her roommate took it nicely. She is more detached now although we're still pretty friendly with each other. I really like where I am with her!

    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      Arelia wrote:

      "I'm sorry but you're just not my type" or lie/tell the truth and say "I'm not looking for a relationship right now, sorry!" Anything but "Get out of my face you desperate weirdo!" is fine in my opinion. :D


      "I'm not looking for a relationship with you, right now" would be what I would say if I wanted to tell the truth. Arguably that is as bad as calling her a desperate weirdo :rofl:

      I can't tell I a lie.

      (You gotta cover up for lies with more lies and most people don't have an infinite span of creative powers so sooner or later the tower of lies collapses and she realizes that on top of the fact that I didn't like her, I'm a lying dickhead).

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Veritas ().

    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      Veritas wrote:

      "I'm not looking for a relationship with you, right now" would be what I would say if I wanted to tell the truth. Arguably that is as bad as calling her a desperate weirdo :rofl:

      I can't tell I a lie.

      (You gotta cover up for lies with more lies and most people don't have an infinite span of creative powers so sooner or later the tower of lies collapses and she realizes that on top of the fact that I didn't like her, I'm a lying dickhead).


      That works too. Is it a certain girl?

    • Re: What's the best way to not lead a girl on?

      Arelia wrote:

      That works too. Is it a certain girl?


      I don't think so. It might be true of all girls who find specific guys attractive. Their impulses might be to spend every second with their guys.

      I don't like it when girls act clingy (the kind of cling you would expect from a desperate weirdo) when they want to start a friendship or relationship with me.

      I like my girls curious -- those that ask me lots of question rather than suffocate me with their presence. Even if she was hot ... she'd be "less" hot if I saw her often. I think people call this the principle of scarcity -- the less you have of something, the more you want it. :rolleyes: