This probably needs much explanation so I'll start at the very beginning and share the whole story.
About a year ago I saw a post on Tumblr about a radio play that needed an illustrator, since I'm an artist, naturally, I sent them some samples and I was accepted. The director of this radioplay was a girl two years older than me whome I'll call Kay. Now the radioplay fell through and everyone working on it dispersed; I haven't talked to any of them since. Except Kay that is.
Now, Kay and I bot have anxiety disorder pretty bad so as you can imagine actually getting close to one another took time, but it didn't take me long at all to develop feelings for Kay. Just my luck though, I realize this while Kay is in a relationship with a guy. (She's pansexual and has dated both guys and girls before.) So, after a while, I decided to give up because I doubted I'd ever have a chance.
Obviously "giving up" on her didn't work so well because now I'm here. It's been over four months and I realized that i didn't get over her- in fact I think I may very well be in love. (Whoa serious word for a 17 year old, yeah, I know, I'm not using it lightly.) Anyway, Maybe a week or so ago I noticed Kay was in one of her depressed moods, so I sent her anon messages pretty much confessing and telling her that she may not know it, but I was still chasing after her. In an uncharacteristic fit of bravery I un-anoned and told her who I was.
Now, back track a little here and let me tell you about her boyfriend. He also worked on the radioplay back before he and Kay even started dating, and I never trusted him. He'd blow up over little things and act amazingly childish when he didn't get his way and practically ignored me or anyone else who tried to give him input. The way I read him, he was sketchy. The guy was immature, selfish, and pretty unstable and he just did not give me a good vibe. Now I'm pretty good at reading people, but when he and Kay started dating I didn't say anything. Then Kay had told me he cheated on his previous girlfriend with her, lead her on and used her for sex. DING DING! Red flag, right? After that I KNEW I had just reason to not trust him, but I still didn't say anything.
Now, fast forward again to where we left off. Kay ended up confessing what a dick her boyfriend is. He cheated on her, he's lied to her, acted selfishly, and pretty much just made her feel like crap! (She even said the only reasons she had been depressed since they started seeing each other was because of him.) THAT'S when I let go and told her exactly what I thought about, because I couldn't have been more right about the guy! Mini triumph, but my focus was and still is on this guy has been ruining the girl I love. She's afraid to leave him because he's (sadly) the best she's ever had. Anyway a lot of stuff was found out about them that would make this far too long to type but trust me when I say this guy is the worst.
After that I stayed up till 5 AM making sure she was distracted (she's had a history of self harming and suicidal thoughts) and we ended up talking about us. She told me I was very important to her and if she was single she'd date me, which, as you can imagine, put me on cloud 9. I also told her that since I plan on chasing her, if she's single again she could count on me asking her out.
I talked to her the next day and she said she's giving her boyfriend a month to make things better or shes putting their relationship on break. Now, I'm not so sure how any of this is gonna go down on her end, but I know this guy won't straighten up. Not for good, at least.
My main problem is.... waiting. I know sooner or later they're going to be over and for the first time ever I feel like I have a chance. But the waiting is killer and the daydreaming is on all time high now I know this could actually happen. This girl is my complete ideal in every imaginable way shape and forum. (I even found out she's everything I'd want in a sexual partner too, which basically means I'M CURRENTLY THE MOST SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED FEMALE ON THE PLANET)
I just... I'm not sure if I made this post for advice or just to be able to discuss it somewhere that know one I know can see but... I'll take anything.
About a year ago I saw a post on Tumblr about a radio play that needed an illustrator, since I'm an artist, naturally, I sent them some samples and I was accepted. The director of this radioplay was a girl two years older than me whome I'll call Kay. Now the radioplay fell through and everyone working on it dispersed; I haven't talked to any of them since. Except Kay that is.
Now, Kay and I bot have anxiety disorder pretty bad so as you can imagine actually getting close to one another took time, but it didn't take me long at all to develop feelings for Kay. Just my luck though, I realize this while Kay is in a relationship with a guy. (She's pansexual and has dated both guys and girls before.) So, after a while, I decided to give up because I doubted I'd ever have a chance.
Obviously "giving up" on her didn't work so well because now I'm here. It's been over four months and I realized that i didn't get over her- in fact I think I may very well be in love. (Whoa serious word for a 17 year old, yeah, I know, I'm not using it lightly.) Anyway, Maybe a week or so ago I noticed Kay was in one of her depressed moods, so I sent her anon messages pretty much confessing and telling her that she may not know it, but I was still chasing after her. In an uncharacteristic fit of bravery I un-anoned and told her who I was.
Now, back track a little here and let me tell you about her boyfriend. He also worked on the radioplay back before he and Kay even started dating, and I never trusted him. He'd blow up over little things and act amazingly childish when he didn't get his way and practically ignored me or anyone else who tried to give him input. The way I read him, he was sketchy. The guy was immature, selfish, and pretty unstable and he just did not give me a good vibe. Now I'm pretty good at reading people, but when he and Kay started dating I didn't say anything. Then Kay had told me he cheated on his previous girlfriend with her, lead her on and used her for sex. DING DING! Red flag, right? After that I KNEW I had just reason to not trust him, but I still didn't say anything.
Now, fast forward again to where we left off. Kay ended up confessing what a dick her boyfriend is. He cheated on her, he's lied to her, acted selfishly, and pretty much just made her feel like crap! (She even said the only reasons she had been depressed since they started seeing each other was because of him.) THAT'S when I let go and told her exactly what I thought about, because I couldn't have been more right about the guy! Mini triumph, but my focus was and still is on this guy has been ruining the girl I love. She's afraid to leave him because he's (sadly) the best she's ever had. Anyway a lot of stuff was found out about them that would make this far too long to type but trust me when I say this guy is the worst.
After that I stayed up till 5 AM making sure she was distracted (she's had a history of self harming and suicidal thoughts) and we ended up talking about us. She told me I was very important to her and if she was single she'd date me, which, as you can imagine, put me on cloud 9. I also told her that since I plan on chasing her, if she's single again she could count on me asking her out.
I talked to her the next day and she said she's giving her boyfriend a month to make things better or shes putting their relationship on break. Now, I'm not so sure how any of this is gonna go down on her end, but I know this guy won't straighten up. Not for good, at least.
My main problem is.... waiting. I know sooner or later they're going to be over and for the first time ever I feel like I have a chance. But the waiting is killer and the daydreaming is on all time high now I know this could actually happen. This girl is my complete ideal in every imaginable way shape and forum. (I even found out she's everything I'd want in a sexual partner too, which basically means I'M CURRENTLY THE MOST SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED FEMALE ON THE PLANET)
I just... I'm not sure if I made this post for advice or just to be able to discuss it somewhere that know one I know can see but... I'll take anything.