I found this quote on the web that helps explain things:

"That my heart is in two different places,
I got you in my life and I wanna do right, but it’s hard to let it go.
When my love has two different faces and I can’t break ties, because they both look right. Can someone tell me what’s a girl to do, when she’s loving two and she don’t wanna lie, but she can’t tell the truth."


So long story short...


I've known this guy Gabe for 3 years now and we recently stared dating this past month after the past few annoying years of him constantly yet cutely persistently asking me out. I finally gave in, although for a while there his player past had kept me at bay, I decided I'd give him a chance. He's a good guy and someone whom i am glad to call a friend.

BUT, there's always a but...

I've gotten close to a boy named Damine over the past year. We've become best friends. When we first started getting to know each other we'd talk and text on the phone daily! We still do and I thought though he had told me he was actively looking for a boyfriend (he's bisexual) that he was starting to like me romantically. He'd give me mixed signals like coming to visit me before class started and buying me stuffed animals on valentines day, and telling me how me how he wanted me to move to Colorado with him; but then revert to telling me how much he wanted a boyfriend or how hot he thought Daryl Dixon was... So naturally I assumed since he never truly made a move that I was friendzoned.

Junior prom comes up and Gabe asked me to go with him as a chum though steadily adding a whinning "why won't you be my girlfriend?" In the midst. A week er so passes and I decide-- after having it somewhat brutally and honestly pointed out to me by him that we would most likely only get to see each other for an other year before we graduate and go our separate ways-- to say yes to going to prom with him as his girlfriend. Naturally, with Damine being my bestfriend I told him and my rather close nit protective group of friends that I was going to prom with Gabriel. Damine reacted unexpectly hurt by the news it seemed literally asking "Youre going with WHO?" and nearly all my friends (who ALL claim to quote unquote "not get a good vibe from Gabe") seemed upset about hearing about my recent hook up. This confused me, I had expected everyone to be happy for me, heck I was getting out there in the world which is rare for me because I'm a quite person by nature and take a while to open up, but in turn all I got back was nothing but "Keep your gaurd up-s" and "I don't trust him that's all-s".

My moral support was completely ratified in a single telling of news but as any good family will do they forgive and have been at least for my sake attempting to give the new bf a chance. Even Damine.

What's sad is that for as little as I've known Damine it seems like he's become more of a bestfriend to me than Gabe has in the three years I've known him. I think Gabe loves me, honestly I've seen the relationships he's had in the past and they've all seemed so shallow and half-hearted, but the. He started dating me and it seems like this is the happiest he's been a long while. In fact he's told me so. But there's just something in my gut that feels off when I'm with him. It doesn't feel right and it does all at the same time. But then I'll hang out with Damine and it's like I don't even miss Gabe when I'm around him. I feel safe with both of them, they're both my bestfriends and keep me sane.