Is this a good cover letter?

    • Is this a good cover letter?

      To whom in may concern,

      I am seeking a work experience placement in your job industry as I believe I would benefit from the experience.

      I am currently working as a full time secondary student at ********. I am also achieving 'A 'grades in my subjects. I am also being recognized for other achievements such as leadership qualities and perfect attendance. My commitments towards being a tem player earn't me an award for being nominated as a Long Tan Leadership Award winner.

      I am eager to work with you because this will allow me to plan my future career path. You industry is the ideal opportunity for me to continue planning my future.

      Please find attached my resume and additional licenses and awards. I look forward to working with your company.

      Sincerely Yours
      MY NAME
    • Re: Is this a good cover letter?

      you might want to be more specific

      like talk about what their industry is and what about it appeals to you and why you think ud be good at that

      otherwise it jus looks like youre sending the same letter to everyone an don really care about who you get the job with so theyll take it less seriously

      an i dont think you should say youre "working as" a student jus say you are studying at wherever

      you misspelled team an earned so you should correct those unless youre sendin this in a diff language an jus typin a translation here
    • Re: Is this a good cover letter?

      Honestly, it's pretty bad.

      You have spelling errors.

      It's repetitive, especially in the first paragraph. You need to rephrase it without all the "I also's"

      Lastly, it shouldn't focus on how their company can benefit you. When they're looking to hire, they don't give a shit how their company can benefit you as a potential employee, they want to know how you will benefit them and consequently, WHY they should hire you over all others.
      June 26 2010<3
    • Re: Is this a good cover letter?

      Shonna wrote:

      Honestly, it's pretty bad.

      You have spelling errors.

      It's repetitive, especially in the first paragraph. You need to rephrase it without all the "I also's"

      Lastly, it shouldn't focus on how their company can benefit you. When they're looking to hire, they don't give a shit how their company can benefit you as a potential employee, they want to know how you will benefit them and consequently, WHY they should hire you over all others.


      .
    • Re: Is this a good cover letter?

      It is brief and concise, which is good (a lot of people write borderline essays for their cover letter!), but it could use much work.

      Definitely double-check the grammar and spelling, and as mentioned, be specific. While saying that you earned the "Long Tan Leadership Award", it is likely that they do not have the faintest in fucks what that means or what it takes to earn it. You could honestly make your cover letter a bit longer to add more detail, since it is so short right now.

      Your cover letter should be more of a verbal accompaniment to your resume (but it should NOT simply repeat the information that is contained on your resume).

      I'm not sure if this helps you, but here's a sample of the cover letter that I typically use:


      Hello,
      I am writing to confirm my interest for your position of [POSITION TITLE]. I noticed this position on [Craigslist, Monster, etc.] and it sounds like a great opportunity and I would be an asset to your team.

      My route began at one of the top 25 Charlotte Russe locations. This $2M per year location allowed me to design new customer service training tools and develop the skills of all employees: management, sales, and visual teams. My opportunity at Guess Accessories (a quickly up-and-coming new concept by the Guess by Marciano brand) allowed me to travel from California to Florida assisting with new staff hiring and training; location set up and development; as well as designing and launching sales incentive programs; inter-location memos, promotions, and reports.

      Since my closet was much too small to continue working in retail, I moved on to USCHospitality and The Lab Gastropub. USC's launch of 14 new concepts within two years allowed me to assist in multiple venue openings in a short period of time. These venues started from scratch and my team was responsible for all of the basic functions from writing the employee manuals and outlining training procedures, to hire and train staff, to designing marketing campaigns to ensure a successful launch and continuing sales. Currently I am a Luxottica Store Manager for their Sunglass Hut brand. With their strong focus on high-end customer service and fun atmosphere, I've really enjoyed taking ownership over my store as well as helping run various other locations along-side my own.

      My work history and experience has helped me grow, and I would love the opportunity to continue to do so with you. Attached you will find my resume in PDF format, which also includes all of my current contact information.

      I look forward to your consideration in this position,
      [NAME]
      [PHONE NUMBER]


      In mine, my cover letter is meant to be read alongside my resume, as I walk the reader through my work history and point out meaningful contributions (like store volume and specific leadership roles) that do not belong in my resume (which is mainly just for job duties and responsibilities or skills).