So there is this guy, a year older than me, and for about 4 years I've had a crush on him. I'd never properly spoken to him, but something just felt right about him. He was extremely good looking, smart, clever, had the sort of 'shy guy' going on, and had a huge passion for the same thing as me. For the first two years I was totally obsessed, and made my friends follow him around school with me. As that died down, I used to catch him sometimes staring at me and I'd stare back occasionally. For the third year I started to not think about him as much as thought I'd never had a chance. I then moved on to this other guy and had a relationship for around 6 months. During that time I would occasionally think about him, but never too much. After dumping the guy I was in a relationship with, I was sitting in my room alone one day on face book. By chance and complete coincidence I clicked on his best friend on face book chat.. There was an unread message sent from him-' Hey I need to talk to you about one of my close friends *Name of the guy*. The message was sent during the time I was in a relationship. After reading it I replied. He told me it was a while ago and would have to ask his friend if there was still anything there. About a week later I got talking to the guy. Our conversation flowed immediatley and felt quite natural. I could see, he was incredibly shy though (as he pparently is around girls). We arranged to go on a date that weekend. Unfortunatley for the next couple of days I caught the norovirus, hence, had to cancel last minute. I think he was abit shocked and upset. He didn't message me after I cancelled. After that, I took on the idea of becoming friends with his mates, as to get close to him (stupid idea). One of his friends started liking me, and I had to reject him making everything a little awkward. After this nothing really happened for around 6 months. During these 6 months I became even closer with my boy best mate. We sort of developed a love for eachother and although we don't have many similar beliefs, motives in life or interests, we just click. We are quite mean to eachother in a flirty way, but when I'm with him it just feels right. We have a huge physical attraction. HOwever, he's abit mentally disturbed lately and is going off the rails, hence my parents aren't fond of him. Even though it feels incredibly right, and i feel ive known him my whole life (even though I have only known him for around a year and a half) I dont feel he understands ME properly. In addition, Although he wont abit it I know he likes me alot. However, 2 months ago, the guy in the year above, suddenly messaged me right after I'd ended the 'thing' going on with my best mate. He'd just finished his exams and asked me out on a date! I was shocked but excited. That Saturday night I got to know him. It was incredible. We both had similar beliefs, morals, interests, our life goals were the same, both an intense passion for the same thing. As well as this the moment we kissed (even though I have kissed quite a few guys) it felt instantly compatable,whereas with other guys wed have to get to know each others kissing techniques. I could feel this was something special. After the date he asked me out again for the next weekend, where I went back to his. he payed for my travel ticket to. Again, just getting to know each other more and felt quite dreamlike (as my previous dreams about him in the past) had felt. W both admitted to each other that int he past we had code names for each other. That was quite cute After leaving he sent me a cute text saying something quite sweet and flirty. A week later, it was his prom (nly for his eyer). I heard through people that he's kissed a number of girls and almost went further with another. I was so upset but pretended not to care. the next day at a party, I kissed my boy bestfriend again and still felt that connection with him. 2 weeks later I get a call from the year above guy. He apologises a lot saying that he feels embaresed and that he's a coward for not messaging me, moreover he emphasised that he never meant to hurt me. I was quite cold with the conversation and told him I couldnt' talk. After around 2 months (where me and my boy bestfriend got off a few times and it did feel right but in a different sort of way). i get another message from the guy. He's asking how i am etc. He asks me out for a date that week. Last minute I make up an emergency and dont go (as to play hard to get). He messages me the next day and asks me for the next week (yesterday). I go. We went to his again. This time,it was still very natural and it was as if nothing bad hd happened. We opened up to teachother immediatley. However i didnt get the feeling as if it felt 'right' but rather as if I was talking to soemone who was more apart of me. It was strange. We are both quite quirky and wierd, and he seems to be able to handel that, unlike my boy bestfriend. He complimented me acouple of times, which made me feel good. Aswell as this however he seemed extrmeely nervous, clicking his hands, and shaking sometimes. He walked me backt ot he bus stop and said that when i get back from holiday i have to tell him all about it etc. This time however, he didnt lean in to kiss me. WHy is that? Im really confused. And im confused about the different feelings i feel for him and my boy bestfriend. HELP