How do I/Should I try to fix this?

    • How do I/Should I try to fix this?

      My friend called me everyday. I never called back, except for on a couple occasions. I wasn't a phone person, and still am not a phone person. I really don't call anyone that often. I told her before that I wasn't a phone person, and her idea was to just not talk to me until we go back to school in September (I'm 16, she's 17). I thought that was a little bit drastic, so I suggested just not calling everyday. Eventually, we were back to the calling everyday thing. Today, I told her again that I wasn't a phone person, and that it wasn't that I didn't care (which she accused me of), I just didn't prefer phone calls, and I'd be happy to talk on Facebook or on Twitter. She didn't like that.

      When I told her that I knew I was at fault for not calling, and suggested a compromise (we would call each other instead of it being one-sided, BUT we would talk online as well) she pretty much completely rejected the idea, and decided she wouldn't talk to me until June, when she's saying goodbye because she's going to college next year (2015). How should I try to fix this? Should I even try? I know I was at fault for not calling her except for one or two times, and I let it be known that I wasn't a phone person before. I even suggested compromise. It looks like we aren't talking for a while. What should I do? Any advice is welcome.
    • Re: How do I/Should I try to fix this?

      You told her on several occasions that you're not a phone person. I know I hate talking on the phone, but I still do if necessary.

      If she's going to be like that, give her her own way and just wait until June to talk to her. She'll probably break to the idea earlier, but if she calls you or tries to talk to you, just ignore her until June - as that's apparently when she wants to talk to you.
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    • Re: How do I/Should I try to fix this?

      Gloria wrote:

      Why don't you just Skype?

      It's not really a phone call - so it's alright for you, but it's also not as distant and cold as a regular Facebook chat may seem (not to mention Twitter).


      I wouldn't mind doing that, if she could. Last time I checked her laptop was broken, but perhaps her phone might be able to do it. It would also allow me to multitask as well. Yet I don't think we'll be speaking for a while. I find it odd that SHE needs space from ME. However, I don't feel like complaining or going to apologize. I suggested compromise of calling and being online as well. Skype didn't come to mind, but I find that to be sort of inevitable, we could have mentioned that along the way. Yet she didn't even want to do that and pretty much shut down communication altogether.

      ---------- Post added at 05:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:55 PM ----------

      Shortages wrote:

      You told her on several occasions that you're not a phone person. I know I hate talking on the phone, but I still do if necessary.

      If she's going to be like that, give her her own way and just wait until June to talk to her. She'll probably break to the idea earlier, but if she calls you or tries to talk to you, just ignore her until June - as that's apparently when she wants to talk to you.


      That's the first thing I decided to do, I just wanted to leave her be and that's what I'm doing so far. It would be hard to ignore her during school, especially if we end up having a class together next year. If she does want to talk, I thought of just being completely honest and quite blunt with her. Perhaps she'd really get the hint then?
    • Re: How do I/Should I try to fix this?

      Ugh, some of us really just dislike the phone call thing.

      I don't see you being at fault in any way here. You made it clear that is has nothing to do with you not valuing the friendship, you just don't like that method of communication (and a lot of us don't!)

      She seems really uncompromising and narrow-minded here. That's not your problem, you spoke the truth at least. I was never able to tell my friends "please, I don't like the phone thing. can we just hang out or chat online?" Good for you for sticking up to how you feel; whatever happens, don't feel guilty.
    • Re: How do I/Should I try to fix this?

      Well if you say you like talking to someone, but don't do it, it doesn't really mean anything that you said it.
      Of course, all you said was that you don't like talking on the phone every day, but if that's what you've been doing and then you want to stop it seems like you want to stop talking in general and that something's changed, that you're getting distant.
      I think that she feels that way. You should talk to her about it. And of course, suggest Skype.
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