Best Dating Jokes

    • Best Dating Jokes

      Dating V.S Marriage [Men]

      When you’re dating… he’s always up for a chick flick because he’s a “sensitive guy.”
      When you’re married… he doesn’t take you to the movies because it’s a waste of money.

      When you’re dating… he takes you out to a fancy restaurant every weekend.
      When you’re married… you eat hungry man dinners because the game is on.

      When you’re dating… he holds you tightly while watching a movie.
      When you’re married… he scratches his ass while watching a movie.

      When you’re dating… he gives you money to buy expensive shoes.
      When you’re dating… he yells at you for buying shoes that cost more than $30.

      When you’re dating… he’s constantly at the gym.
      When you’re married… He’s growing a beer gut. In his exact words he is “His beer gut is an investment. It saves money on an expensive gym membership and lowers the electric bill because his beer gut gives him warmth.”

      Dating V.S Marriage [Women]

      When you’re dating… she makes you homemade meals every night.
      When you’re married… the closest you got to homemade is KFC.

      When you’re dating… she always looks slim.
      When you’re married… you found out she was wearing spanx all along.

      When you’re dating… she wants to have sex every other day.
      When you’re married… she’s willing to have sex with you once every month.

      When you’re dating…. Her legs are always silky smooth
      When you’re married… Her legs feel like a bed of prickly needles.

      When you’re dating… he waxes his chest because you find it sexy.
      When you’re married… the forest grows, because it’s not your choice anymore.