Dealing with death of father + other subjects

    • Dealing with death of father + other subjects

      Disclaimer: this paragraph is extremely verbose and most likely overwhelming.
      About 3 months ago, my dad died very unexpectedly. At first, I was so numb from the shock of it happening that I just carried on like nothing every happened, until about 2 weeks ago. Every since then I've felt lower than low, less than nothing, more depressed than I've ever been, and directionless in life. I participate in a multitude of activities in and out of school to keep myself from thinking about it, and try to outwardly convey the idea that nothing is wrong; I can't seem to be able to talk to anyone about it, not even my family. In addition, as of late, I've been attempting to ask out this girl, but it turns out that she's taken by one of my other friends. I haven't been kissed by a girl, let alone dated on, in my entire 17 years of existence. This recent event has made me reflect on myself and feel even more worthless. If anyone reading this post has anything helpful to add, please do so.

    • Re: Dealing with death of father + other subjects

      Hi,
      I know right now you probably feel like you're all alone with your emotions. Like nobody understands and nobody could possibly be able to help you. I have to admit i haven't been in a position where i have lost a parent, but i have lost someone very close to me. It is completely normal to blank out the trauma. To almost not believe that it happened. To carry on as normal. But you can't do this forever, as you have found out. You have to have your mourning process. You will get through this. But you have to let your emotions out. When i first got depressed i stopped doing anything. I didn't go out. I quit college. I stopped all of my extra curricular activities - some of which i had been doing for almost 10 years. The second time i got depressed i over worked myself. I was working seven days a week, 10 hours a day. Everyone deals with depression differently. You will get through this though. Maybe talk to your friends and/or family and/or GP. I know you probably think that they wouldn't understand, after all it was three months ago, but trust me - they will. They will be glad that they are there for you in your time of need. You just need to trust them and let your emotions out.
      As for the girl. It isn't a problem that you haven't kissed anyone. Yes you're 17 and most people your age probably have had their first kiss, they've probably had a lot more. But you're not the only person who hasn't. I didn't have my first kiss until i was 17. I didn't loose my virginity until a month before i was 18. You are in no way worthless. You have your whole life ahead of you. Believe me. I tried to end my life when i was 16 and ended up in hospital for two days. I believed that i was worthless, that there was no point in living, that everyone would be better off without me. But now - i know that to some people i am there everything. My family adore me and i adore them. They would be distraught if i left them. I know that there is a reason for my existence. It took me awhile to find it, and maybe it'll take you awhile to find your true calling. But you will. You'll get through this period of your life and go on to lead a loving, fulfilling life.
      x
      [CENTER][SIZE=4]- Stay Strong -[/SIZE][/CENTER]
      [CENTER][SIZE=3]love is louder than the pressure[/SIZE][/CENTER]
      [CENTER][SIZE=3]to be perfect[/SIZE][/CENTER]

    • Re: Dealing with death of father + other subjects

      You shouldn't let yourself be bothered by your relationship status, or the "i kissed a girl" RL life achievement, because it's all very petty in the end. It shouldn't matter if you've had a kiss, or had sex, or had a girlfriend. Those individual "checkmarks" are irrelevant. What matters is what you feel.

      If you feel you love someone, then that is what you should focus on. If you feel you love watching anime, then that is what you should focus on (**projecting**). Perhaps you should ask yourself; "What is happiness- to me?"

      Death is not something that can be "solved" unlike the girlfriend issue. What matters is your perspective. I suggest meditating on life, and doing some philosophical searching within yourself in order to accept or cope or deal-with or whatever other words you can think of that fit this.

      Life goes on, with or without us.
      [SIGPIC]http://www.thecommonage.net/mandala.gif[/SIGPIC]
      The living may not hear them; Their voices may fall upon deaf ears. But make no mistake; The dead are not silent. My Skype: Alaestor My TeamSpeak3: ts3.FutureGadgetLab.net